ISS 2014: for akira_32 (2/4)
“What’s with you?”
“With what?”
“With my cousin”
He takes two seconds too long to answer, for his liking “What about him?”
“Are you friends or something?”
“No, why are you asking?”
“I don’t know, you were there on your own yesterday-“
“He told me to go!”
“Alright, I was just saying”
“I just bumped into him and he insisted I helped him-“
“Ok, it just-“
“-because you were coming and he had to do something for today and-“
“Alright, no need to explain, I believe you” his friends says amused.
“I’m not-… Ah, never mind”
The rest of the students start filling in and two of Sunggyu’s newest additions of acquaintances stride in lazily in all their unkempt fashion. Uniforms rumpled, ties gone, runners on his feet, platinum blonde hair in one, streaks of purple on the other. It really doesn’t look half bad, the purple, now that he looks at it properly. Sunggyu seriously starts considering a bright, angry red, or a fierce orange. The guy said those would look good on him.
“You think red would look good on me?” he asks Myungsoo.
“For what?”
“My hair”
“What?” the other laughs, but at the serious face he receives, he sobers up “Are you insane?”
“Just a bit of fun”
“Fun? Is a suspension fun for you?”
“The reactions could be fun” he shrugs.
“Sunggyu, you’re looking for your fun in strange ways”
“Why? You never thought of changing your style a bit?”
“Yeah, but not just to piss someone off”
“I’m not doing it because of that” he defends, but he knows what Myungsoo means, and it irks him that his friend has him figured out so easily “Forget I asked you, you don’t get it”
“Oh no, I do get it, but it’s not-“
“Hey dude!” someone sits on his desk, and he leans back a bit to look up at the platinum blonde “What you doin’ Saturday?”
“Dude?” Myungsoo asks from the side, his eyes burning holes in the blonde’s head.
Sunggyu throws his friend a lazy glance and turns to the other “Saturday when?”
“Saturday”
He rolls his eyes in annoyance “Well, I don’t know, something probably”
“Well, bad mood dude? What a rarity” the other jokes “Saturday night”
“Oh, nothing then”
“Awesome, you commin’ then”
“Where?” he frowns.
“We goin’ out!” the guy smiles broadly and nudges his shoulder playfully “Ready to get wasted?”
“Oh”
“And before that, what about painting that hard head of yours a pretty color, huh?”
“Oh” he repeats, this time a bit more happily “That I like”
“Oh, you’ll like the rest just as much, you’ll see” the other lifts his ass from Sunggyu’s desk and pats his back as he walks away.
A second or two tick by and then Myungsoo is leaning over his desk with a serious frown “So, you’re going to dye your hair and then going out with those idiots”
“Never said I was going out with them”
“Right, as you said you didn’t drink”
“I told you it was just a bit, dammit!”
“Not my point”
“Look, lay off, I can take care of myself”
“Yeah, sure looks like it”
He throws a hard look to his friend, a bit fed up with all the half-hearted scolding “Lay off” he repeats in a stressed tone.
Myungsoo looks honestly angry by this point, but so is Sunggyu, so he just turns ahead and sends a quick message to the guy with the purple streaks on his head ‘cool hair dude’ for what he receives a ‘ikr? ;D, PE teach loved it, first f all to give me dtention’ that makes him snort in amusement.
***
It’s Friday, and the weekend is looming right around the corner. It could be decent, waking up to an empty apartment at noon, eat whatever leftover he finds appetizing in the kitchen, try to convince Myungsoo to do something, maybe go to his house, go back home late, be welcome by the sound of the shower running maybe, or tiptoeing his way around if not, because it would mean his father was be taking a nap… Or not back yet. A silent, halfhearted dinner, doing homework (or doing as if) and then to his room to fool with the internet in his phone until he fell asleep at the wee hours of the morning.
Sunday would be a something like a copy paste of the Saturday, except his father would probably be sleeping, home-working, or out for some reason Sunggyu couldn’t give a flying fuck about.
He didn’t, really.
So, it’s Friday, and while most of the school’s population is oozing with anticipation, he’s as sour as ever. Myungsoo, at his side, seems to be the same way, but he knows it’s for a different reason. He is the most likely reason, actually. Still angry at me, huh? Why is he so intent in being angry at me? He always finds something to pester me about, something wrong, something bad, something- Ah, whatever. And why is he even here if he’s so mad? See if I care. He mentally shrugs, and then actually shrugs, having worked himself into a mild state of annoyance already.
“And what’s wrong now?” he hears his friend ask.
“Not your problem” he shots back, and even he has to admit it was uncalled for, but he is in a bad mood… Again.
To his surprise, though, Myungsoo stands up, spats a curt “Suit yourself” and walks away.
Smooth, Sunggyu, very smooth! He chides himself, and crosses out Myungsoo’s company from his options for the weekend. Thick frustration grows inside him, and he gets even angrier. Really, what the heck is wrong with everything?
His pocket vibrates, he wants to throw it out the window, because he just wants to be a bit more stupid, but a second of reasoning has him reading the new message from ‘purple boy’.
Sneakin out after lunch. Seeya at the back ;)
Oh well, something to do at last. And the school and all its inhabitants can go fuck themselves.
His mood improves the tiniest bit.
---
They’re at a narrow alley, people walking by like a flow of water, constant, unchanging, uncaring. Four young guys lounging in the dark little street, same pants, messy shirts, backpacks thrown on the dirty ground, unlabeled bottles near. One of them has a cigarette in his mouth, another pulls one from the package.
“For real, though, you should totally screw that” the first one says around the cig.
Lazy eyes narrow a bit under a black-and-purple fringe as a lighter’s little flame lits a bright red tip “Yeah no” the other says without interest, handing back the little plastic object and taking a long drag of smoke.
“Not all that good anyway” a third one comments from his place against the wall, the bottle waiting for him to finish talking to find his mouth.
“You both nuts” says the first one, pocketing the lighter while he flips his blond hair off his face.
And there’s the fourth one, sitting beside the lazy smoker over a big metallic container, his back against the wall, watching at the offhanded exchange. He wonders what in hell he’s doing. Skipping school, drinking during the day (or drinking at all), in a dirty alley with this bunch. He honestly wonders what the fuck he’s doing… But at the same time, he can bring himself to care. He’s doing what he wants, that’s it.
Something nudges his side, and he takes the bottle without looking, a small sip, a grimace, a second, bigger gulp, another grimace, a third taste, a sigh and he hands the alcohol back. He has to make another sour face when a wave of rancid smoke hits his face, and he throws a mild glare to his side, meeting a pair of lazy eyes watching him with amusement.
“Bothers you?”
“No shit, purple boy” he half drawls.
The guy laughs distended and places the cigarette between his lips again, inhaling slowly, then pulling it out and glancing at him again. He watches, those lethargic eyes locked on him, and the lips part ever so slightly to push out a new wave of toxic shit. He glares again, narrows his eyes, but can’t quite pull them away from the grinning mouth that’s taking the white filter.
Then the mouth moves “Wanna try?”
It takes him a bit unguarded, his eyes widen and he stalls for a second “What?”
The guy takes the cig and offers it to him “Wanna try?” he repeats.
He scoffs “Nasty”
“It is, but it kills the sour mood, good way to cool down” the other says, his eyes keen on him “And takes some time away”
A click of tongue, a doubtful look “Don’t need that”
The guy laughs hard at that “Oh, really?”
Sunggyu pushes him without real force, a grin pulling at the corner of his mouth “The heck, man?”
“Come on, just give it a try” he offers again.
“I’m gonna choke on that little shit”
“Probably” there’s a dragging sound in the word, the alcohol taking its toll on their tongues “But you’ll see I’m right”
Right? He wonders, as he watches the cigarette being clasped between lips again, the bright red consuming the length and then relenting, the mouth opening and gray, pale, lazy smoke flowing out. Something in it, in all of it, is pulling his attention, his curiosity, there’s this strange interest building in him…
“Go ahead” he is presented with the disgusting thing again, and he takes it between his fingers with obvious resentment. Soft, slurred laughter surrounds him from his side “It’s not gonna bite you”
“No, just gonna poison me”
“Mh…” a rumble, he looks at the lazy eyes, they never left him “A bit, perhaps”
Sunggyu tries, chokes, coughs and his eyes smart. The other two laugh at him, but the lethargic gaze smiles at him as the purple guy takes the cig out of his hand and places it back between his own lips.
He’s not sure what he’s trying to do, to prove, to achieve, but he finds a twisted sense of accomplishment by doing all of this. These guys entertain him, the alcohol diverts his attention, the edge of it all amuses him somehow. And now this… Well, to hell with it, it has a purpose to serve…
Sometime later, when his mind is definitely fogged by alcohol and after a second failed attempt at a smoke, an offhanded thought hits him from behind, and he has to laugh at the stupidity… Or maybe it’s not so stupid, maybe he’s the stupid one, but he remembers that his father smokes too, and he remembers that hates it.
***
He still feels a bit awkward, out of place, uninvited… though he was invited several times, insisted and nearly forced to come. But that isn’t the point. The thing is that he’s now at the entrance of a night club, and he’s nervous. The guys around him suddenly feel like a blanket of mild security, a strange, loud, rude and already tipsy security, but it does its magic. There’s also the fact that this costs money, money he doesn’t really have. Or he has, but feels all kinds of wrong to dilapidate on a night like this. He tried to sneak his way out of it with that card, these people know he was not one of them, they knew he was the dusty sheep of the pristine herd, the struggling sheep of the well-off herd. But all he managed is that now they are half paying his night. He’s surprised, honestly, at their acceptance and their insistence. But he still hates it, the debt, the charity or whatever it is. He’ll have to pay it off as soon as he could. Somehow.
The other thing bothering him is his conscience, because yeah, it picked this glorious moment to come and bite him. His hand in his pocket fumbles with his phone. He thinks of the message he received mere hours ago. ‘Come home, I got the movie you wanted to watch. You can sleep over.’ Myungsoo had written, all full, proper words. He thought about not answering, still feeling a bit bitter about his friend, then remembered he had been the asshole, and replied a short ‘Going out with the guys tonight.’ Full words with Myungsoo. The conflicting part is that he got a message back. ‘Come on, I’ll be at my cousins, we can play BS.. He asked about you. He’ll make us something.’ His conscience started acting up by then, because he felt his friend was trying a bit too hard. ‘Sorry, Already made plans with them. Maybe another time?’ He actually felt bad about his answer, and expected text silence or maybe a curt retort, but surprise again ‘Come on, I’ll be bored out of my mind, and Woohyun seems to like you’, and he didn’t have time to answer before another one got in ‘I don’t like you going out at night with those idiots.’ And then the annoyance was back full force, so he never replied. Therefore, guilty conscience nibbling at his mind at the moment-
“Relax dude!” purple boy tells him, a hand squeezing his shoulder just in the place it meets his neck. It makes him flinch away “What’ya worried about? Not getting past the gorillas? Not getting’ any for the night? Passing out drunk?” there was clear amusement in the other’s voice.
“Nah” he just says, but it’s a bit of everything.
He gets through the bouncers, not able to help a mildly intimidated glance at them, and then he’s attacked by heat, bodies, an invasive bass and dizzy sounds. They go straight to the bar. His companions seem to be well acquainted with the place, even though they aren’t supposed to be there in the first place. But, then again they weren’t supposed to drink alcohol or smoke either and well…
A tall glass in pushed his way by one of the guys, he’s about to take it when a hand stops him, and replaces the first glass with a smaller one, this time full of clear liquid. He looks up and find lazy, yet very awake eyes drilling into his own, a grin to match.
“What’s this?” he forces his voice.
The guy lifts a second shot in his hand and gestures for him to do the same, leaning closer to say “The starting line, sweets”
He’s taken aback. The fuck? ‘Sweets’? What’s that supposed to mean? Was that an endearment? He blinks confused, but only for a second, then he shrugs it off. There are so many weird things going on lately, new stuff he has no idea how it works, so he might as well get used to it.
He lifts the shot, eyes it doubtfully, looks at purple boy and after a sign, downs the burning, disgusting, bitter liquid in one go.
Lemmon and salt make it a bit better.
---
It wasn’t so bad after all. Boring as hell the first moments, maybe an hour or so, until he got drunk enough to find anything amusing and irritating and interesting and so many incoherent things that time flew by and when he realizes, he’s horizontal on something soft.
And feeling like shit.
In fact, he feels like someone filled his stomach with rotten water, his limbs with concrete, his mouth with dirty rags and his head with crazy bees. So, yeah, he feels like absolute shit.
It’s a huge ordeal to raise on his elbows, the room spins a bit, he realizes that he’s on a messy bed, and not alone. A warm arm slides from his back to his waist, and he squints to see who it was.
What in the name of all fucks? His brain asks him, while he stares at a mess of black and purple hair. The arm is still on the small of his back and it’s a bit uncomfortable, so he stands up. And immediately regrets it.
He’s cradling his head and kneeling beside the bed as he shakes the guy awake “I gotta go, wake the fuck up” he growls, craving a shower and his toothbrush.
His clothes reek of sweat, smoke and alcohol. It’s disgusting. He’s not sure the night was worth this hellish awakening, can’t remember all of it either.
The other shifts and groans, blinks his eyes open, stares at him for a long while, then smiles “Hello” he drawls, voice sounding like gravel.
“This your house” he can’t even make it a question.
“It is”
“Get me out, gotta go”
Purple boy laughs, ungainly and distended “You wound my feelings” he mocks.
“The fuck you talking about?”
A bit of more laughter “Nothin’, never mind” the guy stands up, groans a little, stretches his back and scratches his stomach.
He looks so carefree, so relaxed, completely owning his motions “Why are you not dying?”
“What?” there’s honest surprise in the droppy eyes.
“I feel like crap”
A blink, and a burst of laughter so clear it makes Sunggyu flinch and bury his head in his hands. The sounds gets muffled “Oh, man” a little sigh “Well, I can handle my alcohol a bit better than you, dear”
There, now it’s dear “Just send me home” he whines, discarding his dignity.
“Oh, no need. You can sleep here some more, I don’t mind”
“No, I… I wanna go home, alright?” he mumbles against the mattress.
“Well, suit yourself, sweets”
“Why the names?”
“What?”
“Noth’n… Home, please”
The other laughs again, but helps him out and directs him to the train station. Luckily, he’s only two stops away from the one near his home.
He doesn’t even think of getting in trouble for this. It’s not likely.
---
The train seat is uncomfortable, his head is pressing against the metal pole near the doors, his neck can’t hold it up, and the cold surface helps with the headache… It doesn’t really, but he likes to think it does. He’s taking steady, deep breaths, doing his best not to think much, not to fall asleep or faint. It’s only two stations, and then getting up and walking… It sounds so painfully difficult.
The train starts, and the rickety sound sends vicious stabs of pain through his skull, while the rocking of the vehicle turns his sense of direction askew, as well as his stomach.
“Sunggyu?” the deep voice startles him “Oh, holy crap, you look like dead” he barely open his eyes, a blurry image forms in front of him. Do I know you? He doesn’t actually say it, he groans instead, because he recognizes the voice “Are you ok?” the tone is softer now, but it still bothers him “You going home?” he nods. Or tries to, he doesn’t want to move much, barely can anyway, nausea started building up since he left the other boy’s house, and the headache is torturing him like hammers on his skull “Two stops from now, right?” the voice is even softer, the insistence is annoying, but very much appreciated at the same time. He nods “Alright, I’ll walk you home”
I don’t need you to walk me home. I’m not a fucking child or a little girl. But damn, he’s grateful and relieved.
He feels pulled to the side, and then something hard and soft at the same time presses against him, his head is lowered… And he’s suddenly dozing off on Woohyun’s shoulder.
---
He wants to crawl to his bed and pass out, he wants to groan and whimper and demand for some comfort. But he’s being practically hauled down the street, a firm arm around him and his feet stumbling.
“Hey, does your dad know where you are?”
“Yeah” he manages. He has a vague recollection of a message sent telling him he’d be going to a friend’s house. Seems pretty legitimate, so yeah, must be a true memory.
“Alright, is he expecting you?”
“Nah”
“Ok, then what about I bring you home and you sleep this off, ok? It’s only a block away” he makes a sound of complaint; he wants to go home, dammit. Woohyun tries again “Listen Sunggyu, you’re not even walking anymore, I’m dragging you. It’s better he doesn’t see you like this, right?” it doesn’t matter, won’t notice, just take me home, he whines in his head, complains wordlessly again, doesn’t even know why “Are we near your place?” he keeps quiet, shakes his head in slow motion “Come on, then” is the last thing the man says, firm voice and strong arms.
Sunggyu lets himself be half dragged a little while more, then into a building, elevator, through a door, a bit of walking, and then… He nearly passes off on a fresh, soft, heavenly bed.
Last thing he hears is Woohyun’s deep voice saying something about a shower and a toothbrush, aspirin? Almost noon? He doesn’t get it, but he does feel the gentle hand on his forehead as he drifts off.
---
He wakes up immersed in confusion, dizziness… And a sweet smell. He feels stuck in place, his body too warm, the bed trapping him, the comforter over him tangled in his legs. The pillow swallows him, he can feel the imprints on his face. It’s difficult to get up, but he does, then stays sitting on the edge of the bed, eyeing the unfamiliar room through sleep-swollen eyes. He remembers Woohyun, so this must be his room. He sees the half empty glass of water, the blister of aspirins beside it, and, oh right, the headache. A hand goes to his forehead; it barely hurts anymore, not in comparison at least.
“Ah, thank God” he sighs, unsteadily standing up. He still feels a bit off, stuffy, groggy… And dirty. He peeks through the door, hears sounds, a deep voice singing, that’s Woohyun. He inhales and the sweet scent travels straight to him empty stomach. He ventures out, padding sluggishly until he faces the familiar entrance to the kitchen, Woohyun’s back to him “Uh… E-excuse me?” he croaks out, clearing his throat right after.
Woohyun turns quickly, revealing a dark green apron and a long, dented knife with bread crumbs in his hand “Oh, Sunggyu” he says, his voice tame, almost hushed. He eyes him up and down, eyebrows set in a slight scowl “How are you feeling?”
“Uh… I’m better”
“Alright, want to use the bathroom?”
“Ah, yes, please” he nods slowly, afraid to bring back the torturing headache.
“You know where it is” the man points vaguely to the corridor from where Sunggyu just came from “I left some clothes you can borrow beside the shower, and a toothbrush over it”
He clears his throat again “Right, I’ll… Ok, I’ll go then”
The toothbrush is still in the package, and Sunggyu fells a bit bad about it. Did the guy just buy it for him? Then he clicks his tongue. Who asked him to do it? I could have managed with some mouthwash… Woohyun was too thoughtful for Sunggyu’s liking. No, not for his linking, for his comfort, and there was a difference.
The shower and toothpaste leave him refreshed, relaxed and almost new, the warm water soothes his still aching muscles and wakes most of his brain from the sleepy stupor. He walks out of the bathroom with his clothes in a heap, his hair wet and his foot bare. He stands in the main room for a little while, contemplating what to do with his overall self.
“Leave that on the chair back there, I’ll take care of it later. Come here and eat something”
He turns to face the man behind him and scowls, shaking his head “No, it’s fine. I have to go”
“Go? Not like that” Woohyun points at his feet “And not without breakfast”
“It’s fine” he repeats, stressing a bit the words “I just need… Something where to put these” he lifts the clothes in his hands “That’s all”
Woohyun looks at him for long seconds, and Sunggyu might feel a bit bad again, for rejecting his offer and wanting to leave after all the help. But then Woohyun walks closer, his face blank and his movements solid and deliberate. He takes Sunggyu’s clothes from him and walks to the chair he mentioned before, dropping everything there. He turns around and pushes Sunggyu along, a hand on his back, not batting an eyelash until he makes him meet the table “Now you sit, and you have breakfast” he announces, no inflexion in his voice.
Sunggyu blinks confused, hackles going up. He takes a deep breath and turns to face the other, ready to storm off. But he can’t quite do it, because Woohyun’s face is not angry and demanding as he expects, instead it’s soft and gentle. The sharp edges in his attitude melt down, and then completely vanish when he looks down the table. There’s a mug of tea, a plate with slices of bright green kiwi and toasts with what looked like honey, a little bowl of yoghurt and flakes along with an enormous glass of orange juice that might as well have been an entire bottle.
“Uh… This…”
“Your breakfast, good for hangovers, so eat” the other says, turning to the kitchen counter.
He slowly sits, watching the food with curious eyes. He wonders if the guy went out of his way to make it, he doubted he had all of this just sitting in the fridge, he doesn’t. But then again, he doesn’t even have simple bread sometimes “Isn’t it supposed to be coffee?” he blurts “You know, for hangovers”
A snort answers him before the words “No, kid, coffee is not the way out”
He ignores the flutter of indignation at the term kid, and instead starts eating.
Half way through the food he gasps and turns to the man, who’s now reading from a little battered notebook across him “Uh… Hey” Woohyun looks up, eyebrows up in question “Uh, sorry for the bother” he mumbles, unable to hold the stare.
“Don’t worry about it” Woohyun waves a hand dismissively.
Sunggyu feels the itch to throw a snappy reply at the man for the uncaring response, but instead tries again “And thanks… For helping me”
Woohyun stares at him for a second or two, Sunggyu’s eyes going up and down from the man’s face to the food. And then there’s that stupid smile “It’s ok, Sunggyu” the voice sounds a bit softer, more like he remembered.
Sunggyu feels his shoulders relax, and goes back to eating. Until he remembers another very important fact and looks up with big pleading eyes “Oh! And please don’t tell Myungsoo”
Woohyun laughs hard at that, and Sunggyu tries to hide his smile behind more orange juice.
“Things are going sour with you two?” the man asks finally. He doesn’t answer, just shrugs, and Woohyuns gives him a strange look, Sunggyu thinks it might be close to understanding, hopes it to be “He’s just worried, you know?”
He blinks, then scowls “Worried? For what?” his voice comes out a bit sharp, but he really doesn’t like the idea of his friend acting the part of a parent, it’s ridiculous and annoying at once.
“I guess…” the man shrugs “Listen, I shouldn’t be telling you this, but… Well, he talked to me the other day, and yes, he is worried. He feels you’re walking away from him”
And that’s not what he was expecting. His frown relaxes into a mildly surprised look “Walk away from him?” he wants to laugh at that, but he knows it’s kind of true. But then, he is not, not really he’s just hanging out with some other people, it’s Myungsoo who just doesn’t want to accept that “That’s stupid, and it’s not like he’s making it any better”
“Sometimes people just don’t know how to act right, and their messages come out a bit… Confusing”
“Yeah, tell me about it” he mutters into the mug of tea.
“That’s why a middle ground is always important”
“A what?”
“A middle ground” the man smiles, not so stupid but more… Something “You know, between good and bad, between it’s all good! and fuck you too!” Sunggyu can’t stop the laugh on time and almost spits his tea “A middle ground, where you take a second, look at them funny and say Did you mean what I think you did?, then it can go two ways” he lifts two fingers, his face the picture of a patient teacher “They really didn’t mean what you thought and then you go back to stage 1: it’s all good!, or, yeah they really meant that and you go to stage 3 and well fuck you too then, sir!”
Sunggyu is snickering away, a hand on his slightly pounding head and the other trying to hide his grin “I guess I am missing that middle ground” he admits.
“It’s not always easy to find” the other concedes, the smile still on his face “Now finish that breakfast”
***
Yet another week, long, boring days of monotone routine. It’s exasperating, no wonder he itches to break a few lines here and there… Never mind which lines. Low murmur flows in the classroom, he watches idly at the rest of the course, he can hear the other guys, a tranquil voice somehow standing out, clear as water. Purple boy laughs distended somewhere behind him, and he can’t help the little turn of his head towards the sound. Why so freaking curious, anyway?, he berates himself, shaking the thoughts away and turning ahead again.
“So…” he trails off, hitting the back of his pen on his desk “Your cousin told me you are going to his place tomorrow”
Myungsoo glances sideways to him, his face still hard “So what?”
“Can I come along?” he asks without preamble, the constant click of his pen against the desk now making a rhythm.
His friend scoffs and rolls his eyes “You have no shame, do you?”
“Why?”
“Really now?”
“What?”
Myungsoo stares at him, a stare that’s borderline a glare, and then leans in slowly “Listen to me, if you don’t apologize in the following hour, I’ll be officially, honestly, and seriously pissed off at you” he slaps him hand over Sunggyu’s, stopping the hitting of the pen “I give you an hour because I know it physically hurts you to swallow that big pride of yours and accept you screwed up, but I mean it” then he turns to the front and proceeds to ignore Sunggyu’s existence for the remaining of their class.
Sunggyu believes Myungsoo’s threat, he knows his friend. But his friend also knows him, and the struggle inside of him is less a debate and more like a carnage between his conscience and his pride.
A buzz takes his attention to his phone. It’s from purple boy.
My place after class?
He thinks about it for a while, tries to think about it, but his fingers are already typing back a quick Sure.
---
He’s walking behind his friend, towards the backyard he supposes, and it’s only five minutes until his one hour deadline. And he’s still struggling, the fact that he even has a deadline makes it even worse. He’s seen Myungsoo’s mood worsen, by now he is stomping angrily through the corridor, pointedly ignoring Sunggyu following him, and he gets it, but still can’t bring himself to do what he has to. Stupid, he thinks, but still difficult.
His friend suddenly turns on his heels and he has to stumble to a stop not to slam against him. He looks at his face, and yes, Myungsoo is positively seething “Really?” the boy hisses “Nothing?”
He would have snapped back, maybe throw a scoff and start an argument, but his hangover morning is still fresh in his mind, ‘He just feels you’re walking away from him’, he had said, and he notices all too clearly now, the hurt and worry in Myungso’s eyes. His friend, though, seems to take his stare and silence as a challenge, as it usually is, because he throws his hands up in defeat and laughs without any humor.
He looks down at his phone, one single minute, and his friend is turning around again. Sunggyu mentally kicks his ass into action, figuratively swallows his pride and reaches forward to the retreating boy, catching his arm and pulling softly back “I’m sorry” he finally forces out of his mouth. Too low, he thinks “I’m sorry” he tries again, a bit louder. Too angry, he reprimands “I’m sorry Myung” he gives his final version of the apology, this time content with result.
Myungsoo stays quiet, looking away from him, then turns his head, blank and mutters in a flat tone “You’re an asshole, you know that?” Sunggyu pursues his mouth, bits back the offense, the retort, the derisive gesture, and nods. Myungsoo stares at him a bit longer, then sighs “Brought any lunch?”
He shakes his head “Forgot to buy something” he looks around, guessing it’s back as if nothing happened “Should go grab something, come with me?”
It’s Myungsoo’s turn to shake his head “Woohyun gave me too much, we can share”
And there he was again, that guy. Annoying, he thinks, wonders, but then nah, not really. He smiles, and hurries to catch up to Myungsoo, who’s already walking away.
---
“They don’t give a fuck, they’re never home” purple boy says around the cigarette.
Sunggyu hums, nursing the bottle in his hands, scratching at the label “Neither is mine” he grumbles.
A humorless little laugh “What I tell you, they don’t care”
No, he’s just never home, he corrects in his mind, but doesn’t bother to say it out loud.
“Well, at least they are honest” another says from the floor “Not making a fuss for every stupid thing you do. I mean, my mom, she ignores that I don’t come back home ‘till morning and keep a stash of smokes in my desk’s drawer, but man don’t you dare raise your voice at her” he scoffs “Freaking stupid”
“Yeah well” the fourth shrugs “That’s why living on you own is the best way”
“Not much difference from what I do, right?” purple boy says, nudging Sunggyu’s side with his elbow “Or you?”
“There is a difference” the fourth says, but doesn’t explain.
They drop the subject in favor of something not as serious, open the big window, one of them starts going about some pair of cousins he scored the weekend, Sunggyu can’t tell if he’s making it up or not. Doesn’t really care, anyway. He just sits there on the bed, eyes traveling slowly through the mess of the room, thinking he should be proud of himself, or maybe feel a bit stupid, for having his own so tidy in comparison. But at the same time, there was no comparison, the size was like twice or thrice his own, the bed too. The built-in closet, the massive plasma screen, the assortment of games, consoles, a guitar on the floor, expensive looking shoes and jackets all over the place… No point in comparing their rooms, even less the rest of the place. For starters, it was a house against a tiny apartment. But he’s ok with it, had years to get over it, and he did, for the most part, for all their differences, they have some things in common too, and it feels nice.
He glances to the side, purple boy is leaning against the wall beside him, arms brushing. His lazy eyes are on the talking guy, uninterested it seems, a knee up, an arm over it, a half consumed cigarette on his loose fingers. The image is so carefree, so relaxed, self-confident? There’s something that pulls him in, again. Some twisted magnetism in this guy’s lack of concern, his uncaring way of facing it all… He’s staring, and he’s being stared back.
He tears his eyes from the other, hating the slight warmth in his own face, the little shiver down his arms. Another nudge on his side, but this time the pressure stays, the body leans closer, and he’s not sure how to react to that. Annoyed, uncomfortable, unperturbed?
“Here” he’s offered a drag. He thinks about it, shakes his head, but the other insists, twists his hand and pushes the filter against his lips “Come on, you were getting the hang of it” he hears the smile in the voice.
He’s not thinking clearly anymore, because instead of taking the cigarette from the other’s hand, he just takes it between his lips and takes the pull. A little jolt of static pinches his skin when he feels the fingers against his mouth, feathery touch, but so unnerving and confusing. He tries not to, but as he retreats his lips, his eyes go up and meet a lazy stare so intense it almost makes him shiver. There’s a half formed s smile frozen in the other’s face, and Sunggyu thinks loudly what the heck did you just do?. The smile thaws and stretches slowly, and Sunggyu is not sure if he’s regretting what he did or not, but doesn’t relent his stance, won’t show if he’s freaking out or unconformable, unsure and lost. He’s fine with it, that’s what he shows, he’s fine with anything he’s thrown. A challenge, that’s what it all is, and he’s not stepping back.
“Hey” a voice breaks in, and he turns his head to see one of the others talking to them “Tryin’ to lure toy soldier out of the box?” there’s a loose smirk on the blonde’s face, a strange tone, eyes just beside him.
Sunggyu scrunches his eyebrows and glances to purple boy to his side. The guy is staring back, quiet. Sunggyu feels there’s something trespassing right in front of him, but he can’t figure it out. It’s unnerving.
“Any problem?” purple boy finally retorts, his own voice heavier than expected for the friendly banter Sunggyu supposed was going on.
The fourth guy is barely paying them any attention, fumbling with some little piece of paper in his hands. But the blonde doesn’t step back “I’m serious” he says, the smirk diluted by now, and a furtive glance goes to Sunggyu before returning to the smoking guy.
“I am too, any problem?” purple boy repeats.
“You know I don’t give a flyin’ fuck, dude, but you probably want to check for problems somewhere else” the boy on the floor says, flat tone with a flat face.
There’s a shift beside him, and he turns to see the guy closer than before, then an arm falls on his shoulders, a hand goes to his hair. Sunggyu is so put off that he doesn’t react for two seconds, and then he masters his face and takes it all in. Not worried, not confused out of his fucking mind, all good.
“How ‘bout that dyeing?” the other says, softly tugging at some strands of his hair.
He has to take a second to regain his composure, masking it as a moment of regard, eyes going to the side, to the crumpled bed sheets “Yeah” he mutters, his own hand going up in an attempt to push the other’s away. It doesn’t work, just makes it worse by brushing their fingers together “Might do it”
“But how about like mine?” the voice sound too close, too low, and Sunggyu pulls at all his strings not to flinch away. And not to lean in closer “Not like that bleached head” a nod towards the blond boy, who’s staring at them with a stony face that makes Sunggyu even more uncomfortable than the guy draped over him. A hand goes under his chin and taps it up. Heat surges all over his back and neck, and he prays to every deity he knows that the blush doesn’t reach his face “How about it?”
Sunggyu forces his eyes up to the black and purple, his heart anxious in his chest, his hackles up, but his attention drowned and overtaken by the swirl of confusion this guy is pushing into him. They behave so differently, so recklessly yet relaxed, it fazes him, intrigues him, unnerves him. But yeah, that hair, it does look good, it suits the boy, makes him look… Interesting, absorbing, a bit on edge. Dangerous, like a poisonous reptile.
“I like it” he mumbles, not thinking much.
A waft of warm air brushes his face “Do you?” he hears, and looks down just in time to see-
Holly fuck, that’s too fucking close! He can’t help it anymore, his eyes going wide, his back tensing, the sharp intake of air, and he pulls back. Harsh movement, his arms shake a bit and his heart hits him in the chest as retaliation. Geez, what the flying fuck?
The arm is no longer on him, and he feels the body shift away. He expects laughter, mocking, offense, anger even. Gets none of that, there’s silence, purple boy is back against the wall, looking all kinds of relaxed, as if nothing happened. The blond is staring holes through the guy, but with a semblance of calmness that seriously intrigues Sunggyu. He doesn’t get it, doesn’t get them.
“Keep the fingers movin’, you gonna spook the kitten” the blond finally says, a twisted grin in his face.
“Kitten wants to play, just needs to be shown how” purple boy answers, but Sunggyu has already given up on understanding.
He forces his doubts back, as they all fall back into the idle chat. Time goes slowly, he can’t really put his mind out of the swamp, barely pays attention to the others, just watches their interactions, looking for hints of normality in what happens. Watches purple boy too intently, berates himself for doing so.
He gets hungry, and thinks he might just go home for the day.
“Yeah, no shit for eating here” the boy on the bed says with a smile “But we can order something”
He hums “No, it’s fine”
“No, yeah, let’s get something, I’m starving” another says “Your folks not commin’ tonight, right?”
“Nope”
“Well then, place’s ours!”
“Exactly” he looks up at Sunggyu, who’s already standing up “You stayin’?”
“No, I’m leaving”
Purple boy stares at him “Suit yourself” he says in a low voice.
Sunggyu stares back and nudges his feet with his leg “Door”
The moment he starts walking back home, he lets the tension roll off his shoulders. He’s seriously hungry, but also wanted to just get the hell out of there. It was making him restless. And the freaking cigarette smoke made his stomach twist in disgust and then growl in hunger. And there was no decent food at his home either.
He sighs, it was a good moment for Woohyun to appear magically again. But it doesn’t happen, and he ends up home rummaging the cupboards in case he forgot some leftover from one of his visits to that warm, food scented apartment.
No such luck.
***
part three