ISS 2014: for akira_32 (1/4)
Title: Nothing else will do
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Sunggyu-centric (Sunggyu/character; platonic Woohyun/Sunggyu)
Length:+29k
Summary: Sunggyu’s been filling the gaps the wrong way for a while now, but it’s not too late to smooth his sharp edges before they start to hurt. A man skilled with the knives seems to be the right person to do so.
Warnings: Age swap, language, underage drinking/smoking
Note: I feel the need to apologize to the person who requested this, because I took such a simple, inoffensive prompt and twisted it into this little monster. I’m not sure how it even happened, the story took a way of its own, but I truly hope it’s still good and enjoyable. So, hope you like!
To: akira_32
From: Your Secret Santa
It’s Monday again, and he sighs dejectedly to the ceiling, eyelids heavy and limbs tangled with the bed sheets. He strains his hearing as he lies on the bed. There’s barely any sound, the noise of distant cars comes through the window, an echoing bark from a lonely dog, a couple of birds, and then his feet. It’s a soft rustle; he comes once, twice, the chair moves, something on the couch, a mug on the counter, more steps. He halts just outside his door, he hears it, he waits, but all he gets is a short Bye, don’t be late, more shuffling of feet and the open-close of the door. Then it’s silent.
Monday again, he sighs to the ceiling. Thirty minutes later he finally gets up, because he can’t be late.
He finds the empty mug on the sink, the last remains of dark coffee diluted with the drops of water that fall from the faucet. He twists it close, can’t stand the little noise.
Brushing his teeth, washing his face, brushing his hair, putting on his uniform, picking up his bag, keys, wallet, phone. The open-close of the door, and then the noise of the city.
The bus ride is annoying, the passengers are annoying, the guy beside him is especially annoying, the crappy music seeping out his earplugs. He feels the scowl on his face, the way his lips furrow to the side, his left eye twitches.
It’s the goddamned morning rush, the bus is moving at a man’s walking pace. He’d probably walk faster, actually. He would do it, if only he wasn’t two miles away from the school yet. His shoulder is starting to ache, his bag is weighting down on his right arm, the left is clutching onto a handle, his neck hurts a bit, and he’s still sleepy. The bus halts abruptly, all the passengers slid forward, he gets his foot stepped on, his bag slides down his arm, his phone almost falls to the floor. The vehicle starts again, and everyone shuffle back to their places with annoyed grunts.
He sighs one more time.
Endless minutes later, he finally squeezes his way out of the bus, and the wave of resigned students welcome him to his school’s block. Dark blue swarms the sidewalk, feet dragging on the ground and whinny voices. A sea of tidy, haughty, fancy looking students. He doesn’t like them, as a general rule. He doesn’t need them. Not them, not the fancy uniform, not the fancy building, not the fancy school name on his stupid diploma. He doesn’t need any of it, but it looks like his father has a different opinion on the matter.
He sighs annoyed, how many times so far? Doesn’t want to think about it. No point.
A group of girls rush past him, one of them hitting his shoulder on her way. It’s so irritating, the feeling of being pushed off your center by someone who barely glances back with a face that he can’t be sure was apologetic or annoyed. Better be the former, or he’ll be seriously pissed… Not that it’d make a difference, really, he didn’t even know that idiot.
He slowly makes his way to the building, walking behind a block of painfully slow people that won’t let him pass through. He doesn’t say a word tough; he’s not in the mood for talking yet. When he’s finally free to walk at his own pace, he hurries to his classroom, goes to his place, at the back and beside the window, and flops ungracefully on the seat. His bag is on the desk, and he rummages for his book and notes, taking it all out to read for a last minute study session. He couldn’t force himself to study properly at home, didn’t really pay any mind until now, but he doesn’t want to fail the exam either… Or at least, doesn’t want to do too bad. It’s a feeling still rooted deeply inside, the need to do well, to make the effort worth it, to seek for that look of approval, of praise, of recognition. But he’s slowly losing it, it’s getting buried under the frustration, the resignation, the resentment, and... Well, some other stupid feelings he doesn’t want to dwell on.
He hears his classmates fill in lethargically, and the silence is broken by rustle, some comments, greetings and finally, chattering. Does anyone care for the freaking exam? No? Well screw you, I do-
“Hey” he hears next to him. He grunts in reply, not even acknowledging the boy sitting on his side, he’s still trying to study “Reading?” he hums “What?... Is it for some class?... For today?” silence, and then he feels the other lean in close to peak at his book. He makes an annoyed sound and shifts to distance himself from the guy “Wa-Wait, is it for now? Do we need to read something? Is it homework-?”
“Can you shut up?”
There’ a stricken look in the other’s face, then his features twist in offense and he turns back to the front, but says nothing in reply so he goes back to his studying. It crosses his mind, for a fraction of a second, to feel a tiny bit bad about his attitude, but then he shrugs it off. It was annoying, and the other knows damn well that he hates annoying people. Or he should know, in any case.
A sudden noise startles him slightly, and he sees the guy standing up and waving to someone “Hey, Kim, come sit here, I can’t stand this dude”
The scoff comes out before he can help it, but he doesn’t really care when the other sends him a glare, he only glares back, an eyebrow raised, and huffs before going back to his reading. A bit of shuffling later, someone else sits beside him again.
“Bad mood?” he hears, a different voice. He hums in answer, and all he gets is a mild “Ok”
There, someone finally got the hint. Of course it had to be Myungsoo.
---
“So… You coming?” is the first thing someone has said to him in the whole morning, and he’s not sure he likes it or not, for whichever reason.
He shrugs, then sighs “I guess… I’m hungry”
“Let’s go then” there’s a cute smile in Myungsoo’s face, but he doesn’t feel like smiling back. He pursues his lips and hums, then follows.
They sit alone, outside, on a bench. Myungsoo has a little lunchbox and a transparent thermic bottle filled with bright orange juice. He himself has a plastic wrapped sandwich and an unopened bottle of mineral water, both still have the price tag. He can’t help to stare at his hands, then Myungsoo’s, his own again.
“Anything wrong, Gyu?”
He hums and shrugs the question away, then starts eating.
There is, actually, and it’s the fact that he can’t remember a single time he had brought food from his home. Nothing he should care about really, but store bought food tires you really quickly, and he can’t be bothered to cook himself, doesn’t know how to, doesn’t care to learn how. What for? He can survive with this, it’s just him after all.
“Looks good” he concedes, mouth full.
“Oh, this? Yeah, want to try?”
Yeah “Nah, I’m good” he shrugs “Your mom?”
“Oh, no. My cousin”
He scrunches his brow in questioning “Weird”
“Kind of, but it’s good”
He leaves it at that, not really interested, focusing instead on pitying themselves for the incoming class.
---
He’s gotten himself in some trouble again. This time it’s with the Chemistry professor. He’s about to get detention, he can feel it, he can see it in the lanky man’s furrowed brow. He really doesn’t care much, what difference would it make anyway?
“You’ll stay after class, Mr. Kim, we’ll have a talk, understood?”
His face doesn’t shift, his mouth stays shut, he simply makes a noncommittal sound in his throat, runs the tip of his tongue against the edge of his teeth behind his lips, and looks outside the window. His fingers move impatiently in his pockets, he bites his tongue, his jaw locks and unlocks, and by the end of the class he’s still trying to tame back his retorts. Yes, he’s angry, but his talk back is reaching the limit for the day, he has to start watching it.
The classroom empties almost completely, only he and the professor are left.
“So…” the man starts, lifting his eyes form the papers on the desk “Anything you’d like to say Mr. Kim?”
“Nothing you’d like to hear” he responds, his voice flat and hard.
“Alright, sit down” the man says, waving to the nearest desk.
“No need-“
“I said sit down Mr. Kim”
He does, but crosses his arms and looks to the side pointedly, just to make it clear that he was not happy. He feels the man’s gaze on him, hears his silence, but doesn’t acknowledge any of it for a while, keeping his cool for as long as he can. It’s a challenge for him, this guy thinks he’s going to lower his head and apologize or something? He could wait as much as he wanted, he’s not going to yield-
“What’s wrong?”
He can’t hold back the little surprised jerk his head does, or the quick blinking of his eyes. One eyebrow goes up and he throws a side glance to the professor, finding the man looking at him with a calm, slightly concerned expression.
“Why?” he asks, his voice guarded and apathetic.
The man across from him shifts in his seat, a relaxed and slow movement that changes his position from the scolding professor to something that makes him look like his psychologist. Not that he has one, he doesn’t need one; he doesn’t need a goddamned shrink, never mind what the counselor says. He doesn’t need this man’s flat concern either, it irks him. He doesn’t need help, nor pity. All useless, if they want to be of any help, then they need to step out of his case, stay out of his business. Seriously, why do they even think he cares about what they think? He doesn’t give a flying fuck-
“Listen,” a little huff of air “Sunggyu” the man says, looking at him in the eye. Sunggyu holds the stare, just not to give in “I know you may think we teachers are all a bunch of heartless, dull people who don’t care about their students beyond grades, you all boys do at this age” the tone gets a bit sharper as the boy’s expressions morphs along the words, taking a turn to a scornful face, because seriously what the heck? Boys your age? Stupid old man “, but, I’m afraid I have to burst your bubble, we actually notice things”
“Mh” he pulls his eyes away, to a side, the other, he sinks a bit more on his seat “Alright, so?” he finally pushes.
“I’m trying to have a serious talk here with you, Sunggyu, I’d appreciate it if you’d drop the attitude for a little while” the voice is serious, stern, but still calm.
Sunggyu takes a moment to hold his ground, and then rolls his eyes and sighs. He guesses it was enough pushing for the day with the man; detention is one thing, the school trying to reach his father was a very different one, and something he does not want to go through, not a chance “Then please just tell me how long so I can go”
“How long?”
“Detention?”
“Oh, that” the man waves a hand dismissively “Never mind that. I asked a question, though, and I’d like an answer”
“What do you want to hear, then?”
“The truth”
“Of course” he holds back the scoff “Well then I don’t know what to tell you”
“Sunggyu, don’t think I don’t remember the year I had you back then”
He suddenly feels uncomfortable, caught, and admittedly stupid “What about it?” he asks, his voice tenser than before.
The other man doesn’t seem to notice, or just doesn’t pay any heed “You were such a good student, Sunggyu” he starts, and Sunggyu shifts angrily in his place “I now you may not like to hear this but it’s the truth, and the reason why I’m now asking you, what is wrong?”
“Nothing”
“Your disposition dropped first, you distanced yourself from your friends, started frequenting others, your attitude worsened even more, and now you’re starting to let your grades drop. I think I have reasons to ask-”
“No you don’t” he interrupted annoyed “You know what? I can get my grades back up if I want, I might, if I have to, but that’s as far as you get in my life”
“Sunggyu, lower your tone”
“Then don’t try to pry into my business” he retorted sharply, albeit in a softer voice.
The man looks pointedly at him, and he finds himself pulling his eyes away with a grimace. As much as he wants to stand his ground, he feels he’s too close to the line, he has to watch it.
“I’d rather talk this with you and try to help you through-“
“Well too bad” his teeth press together and he has to make an effort to pull his jaw open to speak “I don’t need your help”
---
They contact his father after all, because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. He has to give credit to his professor, though, because he didn’t seem as angry as he looked disappointed. But Sunggyu’s not sure which was worse.
In the end, he chooses to go to Myungsoo’s instead of his own home. The excuse is that he actually wants to improve his grades, and the professor loaded him with extra work instead of his customary detention. That was a good outcome, at least. Myungsoo’s always been good with his studies, and he’s the only guy that tolerates Sunggyu to the point of still call himself his friend, so it’s without a doubt his best shot.
“Oh, but I’m not going home today”
“What? Why?”
“It’s Monday”
“… And?”
“Don’t you remember what I told you last week?”
“Not… really” he admits.
“I have to go to my cousin’s”
“Oh… And that’s… Because…”
A sharp sigh denotes his friend’s irritation, but he half smiles at him and shrugs as a halfhearted apologize. It seems to be enough, Myungsoo shots him a lame little glare and relents “My parents agreed to let me go to his apartment until they’re back from work”
Sunggyu blinks with his brow scrunched “Why?”
“Because,” his friend starts with a frustrated tone “my cousin pestered them until they agreed. Seriously, did you not listen to a single word I told you?”
“Mh…” he looks away, keeping quiet for a few steps to avoid the answer “So, we’re going to your cousin’s?” there’s silence, and he looks to the side in question to see his friend pursuing his mouth at him “What?”
“I don’t know if it’d be ok”
“Why not?”
“Well… He doesn’t know… I mean”
“What?”
“I should tell him beforehand at least”
“Call him”
“I don’t know…”
“Hey!”
“W-what?”
“Look, I can behave, alright?”
“I didn’t say you couldn’t”
He clicks his tongue and huffs in anger, halting his walk and making his friend do the same “Look, if you don’t want him to meet me or something just say it”
“I didn’t say that” Myungsoo stresses, his own annoyance showing. Sunggyu doesn’t answer, only gives a shrug and looks to the side “You really need to stop taking everything so badly, alright?”
“I don’t take it badly, you make it sound as if you’re ashamed to be my friend or something”
“What? When did I-?” the other groans loudly “You know what forget about it. Think whatever you want to think. If you want to come, then come along, I don’t care”
“Right. If I’m going to be a burden then forget about it”
“What burden? Damn it Sunggyu-“
“I can behave just fine!” he repeats.
“And I never said you couldn’t!”
“You would think that after years of-!“
“Alright, enough!” Myungsoo snaps, ruffling his hair angrily. Sunggyu lets out a sharp breath through his nose and tries unsuccessfully to relax his scowl “Ok” his friend sighs “Ok, look” another loud breath and he opens his eyes “Listen here,” he finally looks at Sunggyu, his face much more controlled as well as his voice “What is it?”
“What is what?”
“What is your problem today? What happened?”
“Why-?”
“You’re especially… especially touchy today, what is it?”
“Nothing”
“Don’t nothing me, Sunggyu, what is it?”
“It’s really nothing, forget about it” he shrugs and resumes his walk.
Myungsoo catches up to him in no time “How am I supposed to forget about it if you’re going to go off at anything I say?”
“I just had a talk with a professor, that’s all. Now please forget about it?”
He meets a bit of reluctance before Myungsoo gives in “Fine, but calm down then”
“Yeah, yeah”
There’s silence as they keep walking, and Sunggyu considers going home, still a bit irked at the whole little banter. He really is in a tricky mood, and that usually ends up badly for them. Then again, going straight home is not tempting him either. Maybe he could just-
A message breaks his train of thoughts, so he takes his phone from his pocket and checks.
Foolin around at the maun stret. U commin?
He pursues his mouth at that, because it could be the solution for his evening… But he’s not really in the mood for “fooling around” with those guys. As much as it’s true that he started frequenting some less than ideal company, the deep, plain truth is he only does so to kill time and feel he actually fits with someone. It’s a chore-
“What? Are you going to meet those jerks?”
Myungsoo’s question is laced with annoyance and a bit of bitterness, so he answers with a little of his own “What if I do?”
“Dunno, you were just wanting to follow me around-,”
“I’m not following you around”
“-now you go after that little scruffy lot-“
“Scruffy lot?”
“-You just want to avoid going home, don’t you?”
Oh, you little bastard “As a matter of fact, I do. Any problem?”
A click of tongue “Do what you want, but don’t come complaining to me tomorrow. I know damn well that you can’t stand half those idiots, and another few can’t stand you”
He shrugs the comment off and turns to leave “Whatever Myungsoo, see you tomorrow, have fun with your cousin-“ he bumps into someone before he can finish.
“Ow!” someone says, and Sunggyu finds himself with a handful of grocery bags falling over him, his arms flailing instinctively to try to catch them before they fall to the ground.
“Ah, what the fuck?” he complains, shifting the bag that he ended up catching and taking a look to the person he collided with.
The man is accommodating another grocery bag in his arms, a handful of keys in one hand, a phone in the other and a duffel bag hanging from his elbow “Oh dear, I-“ he straightens up and looks at Sunggyu “I’m sorry, are you ok?”
Sunggyu huffs annoyed and turns to Myungsoo, handing the bag so he can leave at once. Myungsoo, though, walks past him and takes the man’s remaining bag “Let me help you, hyung” he says.
“Oh, hey Myung! I didn’t see you there” the man says, a stupid smile spreading on his face.
“I told you I was coming”
“I know, I was trying to text you, but…” he laughs lightly as he shrugs.
“Alright, let’s get in then?”
“Let’s go!” the older of them cheers, stops and looks at Sunggyu again “Oh my, I’m sorry! Let me take that bag, thanks” he smiles yet again as he frees his hands and proceeds to the building’s entrance just behind them, fumbling with the keys until he manages to open the door. He then holds it for Myungsoo, who turns and gives Sunggyu a questioning glance, but not a word. When he doesn’t answer, his friend sighs and shakes his head before walking into the apartment building. Watching curiously, the man finally asks “Oh… Oh wait, do you know each other?”
“Hm? Oh, yeah that’s a friend of mine, from school”
“Oh, then why don’t you invite him in?” again a stupid smile on the man’s face.
“No, I think he’s got more important business to attend” Myungsoo throws.
Sunggyu scoffs derisively and glares mildly “Keep your witty comments Myungsoo, I don’t need you to make a scene”
“You’re the one who can’t make up his mind”
“Oh I can, I’m leaving, didn’t you get that?”
“Then why are you still here?”
“Because you keep bothering me”
“I’m not-“
“Alright, guys” the man buts in, his voice serious for the first time “What’s wrong? Myungsoo if he has something else to do just let him be, what’s the matter?”
Well, thanks. He thinks, turning on his heels to walk away, but Myungsoo’s voice stops him in his tracks “He’s got nothing to do, that’s the matter”
“Myungs-“
“He asked me to let him come home with me-“
“Oh, shut it!”
“-but he thought he’d be intruding because I was coming to see you”
“Shut up, Myungsoo!” Sunggyu complains, his demeanor all but crumbling into a whinny fit “Don’t say that!”
“What? It’s the truth”
“It’s not!”
“Oh, but it’s alright” the man intercedes “You can absolutely come in!”
I don’t care, I’m off “I don-…” he stops, his tongue suddenly stuck to the roof of his mouth, so he clicks it, loudly “No, I’m goin-“
“Come on, Sunggyu” Myungsoo insists, his earnest tone finally betraying his intent “Just come with me, you don’t need to go with those jerks”
“I don’t think…”
“What? Woohyun told you it’s alright”
“Of course! Please come in, I was about to make something for Myungsoo to eat, you should totally join” said man smiles his stupid smile once more.
And it kind of convinces Sunggyu to tag along.
---
Small apartment, simple furnishing, but comfy. There’s a constant clattering of sounds from the kitchen, where Myungsoo’s cousin, Woohyun, went right after they got in. He seems to be cooking… something. Myungsoo is sitting beside him on a couch, flipping through the channels and still going on his rant on Sunggyu’s bad choice of company. And it’s not like he doesn’t agree, but well, things just happen and he doesn’t want to cut himself clean from the guys at once… As much as his friend denies it, they are fun to be, from time to time. That and it could bring his some trouble to ignore them out of the blue, but he supposes he can deal with that-
“Wanna play some COD?” Myungsoo asks suddenly, and Sunggyu is nodding enthusiastically before he even finishes the sentence.
“Your cousin has that?”
“That, RE 5 and 6, I think he has some Dark Souls” his friend comments as he rummages into the little doors under the TV, pulling out the game console and handling it to Sunggyu while he keeps searching for the game “Oh, he has Bioshock, you like that one, don’t you?”
“Yeah, didn’t play much though, got it…” borrowed, he finished in his head, his feet bouncing lightly.
“He has all of those- Oh! Here… Ah, no, it’s not this one…“ he drops the box in his hands and keeps going, pulling one after the other “Uh, here’s RE… Assassin… Oh? Hey, hyung! When did you buy Dishonored?” he calls loudly, holding one box close to his face.
“Huh? I got that one a month ago” Woohyun answers from the kitchen, his voice cushioned by a steady metallic sound, a wire whisk on a metal bowl, Sunggyu thinks “Decent enough”
“Mh” Myungsoo seems to ponder a while before turning to Sunggyu, who’s still controlling his surprise at the collection the man seems to have… And the slight envy, if he has to be honest “We could try this one sometime”
“Sure” he shrugs, already making himself comfortable on the floor and reaching to plug in the console.
“And here it is!”
They set to play immediately, barking back and forth to each other, eyes fixed on the screen and fingers fumbling swiftly on the controls. Time flies around them with such lightness Sunggyu barely registers the movement near him, he does catch, though, the sweet scent that starts floating all over the apartment, his stomach gets impatient in response, but he keeps his attention on the game.
He’s so into the game he doesn’t realize that it is past six, and then a hand falls on his shoulder “Come on guys, drop that a second”
It’s bad timing, and Sunggyu is annoyed by the interruption that makes him miss a crucial hit. The snarky comeback is at the tip of his tongue, ready to shot when he turns and sees Myungsoo’s cousin smiling at him and his tongue craws back. He guesses is not right to snap at the guy, he’s in his home after all, using his games and… About to eat his food apparently, if the table is any indication.
“Hold on a sec, hyung” Myungsoo says distractedly.
“You’ve been playing long enough, come on”
“Yeah, in a bit”
“Myung” Woohyun calls weakly “There’re lemon cookies too” a grunt was his response “I made this for you, little brat, drop the game”
“Yeah I know, I’ll go in a second” he dismisses again, a bit annoyed apparently “Come on Sunggyu, you’re getting beat up”
“Huh? Oh… It’s ok” he looks up at the older man, who twists his mouths and glances to the table, and then something gets a bit uncomfortable inside: secondhand guilt “Uh, come on, Myung, I’m starving” he finally says, standing up and eyeing the table better. His mouth waters a little bit; there’s brownies, obviously, but also light colored cookies, little soft looking pastries and half a dozen muffins, along with two mugs of what looks like hot chocolate “Oh…” he mumbles before blinking away from the tempting sight and towards his still absorbed by the game friend “Drop that Myungsoo, your cousin made a freaking lot of stuff for you” he pushes the boy’s back with his shoe.
“He always does-“
“The more reason for you to drop that, come on!” he barks without patience.
“There, your friend knows how to appreciate my effort” Woohyun sends a pitiful glare in Myungsoo’s direction, then turns to his guest with a little smile “You like sweets Sunggyu?”
“Uh?...” me? Sweets? Pff, nah “I.. Yeah”
***
“He’s the only son of my mom’s sister” Myungsoo says the following day. Sunggyu hums a bored sound, even when he was the one who asked about this “He went to culinary school and graduated just recently” a bit of silence, and Sunggyu hums again, just to keep his friend talking “Few years older than me… He’s twenty-two or twenty-three, I think. It was an even number so twenty-two I guess”
“Seems like a decent guy”
“He’s… He’s ok, a bit dense sometimes”
“He seems to care-…” he stops, scorns himself for being so stupid and leaves the phrase hanging open.
“Care? About what?”
“Nothing, you coming or not?” he pushes, his stomach asking for food and his mood for a way out of the conversation.
“Sure” Myungsoo concedes, a quiet look of curiosity barely held before they start walking.
---
Back home, Sunggyu all but drops his ass on the couch, school bag falling on the floor, legs sprawled. He waits then, listening to the silence of the apartment, the soft ticking of the clock on the wall, the cars outside, a barking dog, people talking loudly. The little red light of the TV, the DVD player.
Half an hour later he finally picks himself up, and drags his feet to the little kitchen. The fridge is half empty, takeout leftovers, bottled juice, packages of premade meals. The freezer is not different. The cupboard then, he mumbles in his head, pulling at the doors above the counter. Packs of snacks, instant noodles, soups… And a little plastic container, behind a box of tea. He had forgotten… No he hadn’t, he was in fact looking for it, just didn’t want to admit it to himself. He reaches out and pulls the bag out.
--“It’s ok! Just take some home” the guy smiled, big, stupid and… Just too soft “You liked these, right?”
“Y-yeah…”
“Then just take them” a little Tupper ware was pushed into his hands, a few brownies and lemon cookies inside “Myung is sick of my cooking it seems…”
“Oh, don’t start hyung. We’re leaving” Myungsoo said, pulling at Sunggyu’s sleeve.
Woohyun clicked his tongue “I’m spoiling you”
“You are, and I never asked you to do so” the other threw back, but a light tone of amusement colored his words in a way that made his cousin smile… Again.
Sunggyu felt odd, so he threw a loose “thanks, bye” and left.--
He eyes the container, the sweets inside. Charity? He scoffs in annoyance. Pity? He’s actually getting mad, and thinks of throwing the shit out. He doesn’t like sweets anyway… Or yeah, he likes them, but who gives a fuck? It’s more leftovers, in the end.
But it’s not the same.
It’s another half an hour when he sits down on the same couch, a mug of coffee and a little plate with slightly crumpled sweets.
---
He showers quickly, the hot water runs out too fast. He’s a bit cold afterward, the tiny window on the side is stuck with a narrow bit open, and the cold air of the night gets in. He towels himself hastily and puts on his worn sweatpants and t-shirt, then walks back into the kitchen, and looks around.
The same as always, should he throw some frozen shit or some instant shit on the microwave? Maybe some leftovers?
He scratches at his belly, rubs his bare toes together. Honestly, he’s not even hungry, and he has homework to do, but fuck it, he doesn’t feel like doing that either… And then that stupid guilt comes back.
He disregarded the feeling for a while until now, but for what? More free time alone at home and lectures from the teachers? Not worth it. At least he gets to do something… And maybe, when he brings his school report home, then maybe, he’ll look at it… And be glad. He would be glad, right? After all, what’s the point on all this? Of him being alone in the little, sad apartment the whole fucking day? What’s the freaking point if not for him to have his good grades on a good school, right?
So yeah, he’ll do his damned homework.
---
He falls asleep over the bed sheets, the bed still made, his cellphone loose in his hand, the lights on. But somehow, he wakes up under the blankets, tightly tucked in, his phone on the little bedside table, the lights off.
He knows how, he knows who. Who else? And it makes him feel a bit lonely. How is it even possible to miss someone who lives with you?
But that thought alone makes him angry with himself, because he’s being stupid and overdramatic again. What’s with the missing crap? He’s not missing anyone, he’s big enough to deal with these things, stop moping! Things are like this for a reason and that’s all there is to it, he can’t do nothing about it… Yet.
He’s in a bad mood already, the voice quickly bidding him goodbye from the other side of the door makes it even worse… Or a bit better, he’s not sure.
***
Mid-week. Time moves so slowly. It’s like a long, plain, dusty road that stretches far away from sight to both sides, horizon to your back, horizon to your front. So you just walk. The thing is, the weekend is no better, it’s actually worse-
“Kim, pay attention!”
He snaps his head to the front of the classroom on instinct, and then forces his face and posture to slacken to show he doesn’t care. He does, a bit, but he’s got a point to make, and that’s more important.
He receives a supporting scoff from near him, one of the “scruffy bunch”, probably. Myungsoo, on the other hand, just pursues his mouth and stares ahead. He shrugs minimally at it, even if it makes him a bit edgy, he can’t please everyone.
He tries to keep his daydreaming at bay anyway, but he really can’t care less about the lesson. To think that he’d been one of those idiots at the very front at some point, it’s ridiculous.
Years back he’d been sitting first line on the front, eyes stuck to the teacher, dropping everything on his notebook, tidy handwriting, colors and perfect display of information in every page, his hand rising every now and then, questions answers and silly little comments he could throw. Why? You would ask, because it seemed the right way to go. It seemed like a good try, but it was not worth it. Too much effort, too much animosity around him, for what? He didn’t notice all those things, the show was unnecessary.
Just a year back, he’d still be writing everything down like a good boy, but opted for silent attention and diligent application, the middle of the room seemed good enough, he mingled with the group, didn’t catch eyes, stayed away from the distractions in the back. All he cared about was getting good grades and please the people that mattered. It was for his future after all, right? He supposed so back then.
Months rolled past and suddenly he had gotten bored of the silent play. He still made the effort to get good grades, he still carried his academic life responsibly, but the stationary behavior had been enough. He started avoiding home after school, following Myungsoo around usually, going to the library on his own, just wasting time on the main street, bumping into some classmates… Those classmates, the very same ones that Myungsoo disliked so much, the very same that just asked him to ditch school after the following break… And maybe he would, he’s not going to pay attention anyway.
That wasn’t good was it? But, surprisingly, that got a reaction, if maybe not a good one. It brought poorly masked surprise, a handful of questions, and then dubious silence. It seemed that a calculated mediocre grade brought more of his attention than his regular good ones. He was trying his hand at it, but, then again, it also brought that stupid guilt he hated so much. He wonders how much it will take for it to just disappear, and how bad the result would be with even lower grades-
“Kim!”
---
“Really?”
“What?”
Myungsoo stares at his bag pointedly, then up to his eyes “Really?”
He clicks his tongue in a show of annoyance “No point in staying”
“Oh, no, right. Important stuff to do out there” his friend mocks “Like, planting your ass on a bench and look at the people passing as that jolly bunch of dickheads nurse their badass-pride by inconspicuously getting drunk”
“Yeah… Sounds productive enough”
“Oh yeah” it doesn’t sound like a question, but Sunggyu supposes it was intended to be one. Or something akin to one.
“What’s the matter? I’m not the one getting drunk”
“Yeah, for now”
“What?” he scoffs “You know I don’t do alcohol”
“Yeah, for now” his friend repeats, disapproval painted on his face.
“You know what? I don’t have time for your scenes, man”
“Oh, sure you don’t” the Myungsoo throws his hands in a mocking gesture “, important stuff has tight schedules. Can’t be late to stare at the birds, might miss the pigeon of 2 o’clock” Sunggyu is actually tempted to laugh, but tries to keep his cool and just turns to walk away “I know he’s your favorite!” his friend calls at his back “Send him my regards!”
---
True enough, there is a brown and white pigeon staring funnily at him as he kills time in the park. Its little head snapping one side and the other while its yellow eyes take turns to look at him. It’s kind of cute… Or not, it’s plain stupid, actually. Yeah it is, so he kicks his foot in the air and shoos the bird off.
“You should!” one of the guys says, way louder than needed, honestly.
He keeps staring around, until a slap on the back of his head ruffles his hair “Talking to you, dude” another says.
“Huh?”
“I said you should dye your hair some flashy color” says one that has, in fact, white blond hair.
He blinks at the other guy “Why would I do that?”
“Because you’re fucking boring, that’s why” another says, pulling at a lock of his dark hair.
He swats the hand away in annoyance, the guys laugh obnoxiously “Come on! Don’t wanna ruin your good boy image or what?” mr. blonde pushes.
“I don’t have such thing” he mumbles.
“You do!”
“Or you did, anyways” another shrugs, black and purple on his head this time “Whatever, you should dye it”
“Yeah, like bright red or some shit like that” the third offers, caramel hair messed up by the wind.
“Yeah, you’ll have that asshole Chemistry dude shitting his pants when he sees you”
“Right, what’s with that guy, he your sugar daddy or somethin’?”
“Oh man! Shut up!”
The three boys break into a fit of laughter, while Sunggyu sighs in exasperation “He’s not!”
“You sure ‘bout that?”
“Yeah, I’m pretty fuckin’ sure! Drop it!”
“Woah, don’t get your pants in a fit, dude, just a question”
“A stupid question”
“A question, anyway” another insists, and after a while Sunggyu understand that they’re actually waiting for a response.
“What?”
“What’s with him?”
“Oh… Nothing, I just used to be a good student, ‘s all”
“Oh, good boy gone bad, or somethin’ like that?”
He makes a noncommittal sound and shrugs, just before a barely cold bottle is pressed against his hand. The amber liquid sloshes a bit inside, the apple juice they’ve been sipping at since they sneaked out of the school.
He looks to the boy to his side with a questioning face, and the other nods to him sharply “Have some”
“Nah, thanks” he refuses, but the other guy doesn’t take the bottle back.
“No, you’re here with us, we share the fun. Have some”
Fun? What the heck do you find fun in this shit? “I don’t dig this kind of fun”
“That’s because you don’t know this kind of fun, man” a second one leans over the back of the bench “Give it a go, it’s not like you’ll get drunk off your ass just by this little bit”
He’s about to refuse once more, but then, what’s the point? He’ll be sitting there doing nothing, listening to their silly bantering until he gets sick of it and leaves. This way at least he’s part of their round. Can’t be that bad.
So he chugs down a big swallow, and then grimaces at the taste “Oh hell, it’s disgusting” he nearly throws the bottle back at the now laughing guy.
“It is, right?” the other agrees.
They don’t make sense, but Sunggyu snorts and shrugs it off. Days like this one, they’re kinda fun to be with.
---
He gets sick of them after all, of sitting and doing nothing but talk bullshit, drink shitty beer and stare at pigeons. But it’s pleasantly late already, school’s been over since a while ago, bit more than an hour maybe, and he’s now leisurely strolling down the main street, hands in his pockets and an annoying yet curious fuzzy feeling in his head. Can’t be drunk, but maybe a bit dizzy. He trips over nothing, stumbles a bit, but it’s ok, it’s just fine.
It’s not so bad, after all, drinking a little with some friends, killing time. They didn’t do anything bad, did they? Maybe talked loudly, bothered some pricks, shooed some pigeons, talked some bullshit. And he had a decently good time. Like, now he knows Jiyeon from History has the hots for him, who would have thought! And he probably should dye his hair after all, for the heck of it. He laughs as he imagines the faces of reaction, Myungsoo’s, the teacher’s… His father’s. Now that’d be worth it, it’d be worth whatever the school could throw at him in retaliation. Scolding? Detention? Suspension? Who gives a fuck? It’ll be fine, he’ll be fine. He is fine.
Or maybe not entirely fine, because he trips on thin air for the fifth time and stumbles a bit to the side. It’s ok, just making a fool of himself in front of strangers, only this time he manages to crash into something. Something that yelps.
“Ow” he mumbles, and blinks up with a frown and a sour face ready to fend off any complain. He’s just not in the mood for troublesome people, he’s in a good mood for once, alright?
But then his eyes go a bit wide, because he kinda knows this person. As if to prove him right, the other also blinks a few times at him, and then there’s that stupid smile “Oh, hi! You’re Myungsoo’s friend, right?”
“Uh, yeah” he says, slowly.
“Oh…” the man frowns a bit, curiosity or something in his eyes as he stares, and then looks around. Sunggyu’s is not sure why, but he looks around too, just in case “So…” the older man calls his attention back “Sunggyu, was it?”
“Yeah… And you’re Boohyun, right?”
“Woohyun” the smile comes back “So, what are you doing ‘round here? School’s over” Sunggyu hums, pursues his mouth and considers telling this man to mind his own business and leaving, but then Woohyun talks again “Anyway, I’m doing some grocery shopping, friends are coming tomorrow and I have to start with the food as soon as possible. They’re just three but eat like an army” he laughs with a silly sound.
Sunggyu wonders why is he being told this, he didn’t ask, did he? Woohyun keeps talking, but he just doesn’t pay much attention, he’s actually searching for a polite way to shut him up and leave. Well, look at that, trying to be polite “Hum, I have…” he starts.
“Why don’t you come over?” Woohyun beats him.
“What?”
“Come over, Myung is coming after his photography club” he looks at his wrist watch “It’ll be over in a little while”
“I… Uh, I don’t think-“
“Come on! You can help me out”
“What?”
“Did you like the lemon cookies from last time?” Sunggyu manages a single nod before Woohyun goes on “Perfect then, I’m totally baking some for now. Oh, I’ll teach you! Or you can just use the PS while I work, it’s also fine. You guys love that thing, don’t you? Come on, we still have to get some vegetables, I’m out of cinnamon and chocolate- Oh, and napkins!” he starts walking, and Sunggyu hastily follows him before he can help himself.
“Wait, I’m… I was going home actually” he manages to explain as he walks behind the other.
“Oh? You have to be home?” Woohyun asks looking over his shoulder.
And Sunggyu frowns, because no he doesn’t have to be home. He doesn’t want to be home either. He was actually going to walk around until he found something to do, someplace to spend some time, or, if he ends up going home after all, he’ll just spend the hours on his own, brooding and sulking, working himself into a sour mood. In the best of cases he’ll do some school work and then turn off his brain in front of the old television until he falls asleep. Promising.
“Nah”
“Perfect then, let’s go!”
---
He wants to laugh at himself, or at Woohyun for that matter. This is ridiculous.
“Try cutting it a bit thinner” he hears the man. This is stupid, he thinks. Who told him to get himself into a cooking class with this freaking ball of sunshine? He didn’t want to cook, didn’t care to learn to cook, so why in hell-? “Perfect! You’re good with the knives, huh?” Woohyun smiles at him, and he drops his eyes to the carrot his butchering.
Good? Yeah right, keep your pleasantries to yourself… Alright? … “… R-really?”
“Sure, Myungsoo’d have cut his thumb already” the other says lightly.
Sunggyu has to chuckle at that, because he believes it’s the truth. And that must mean he’s not all that bad either… Right?
“Now what?”
“You can start with the rice. I’ll finish the cutting”
Why can’t I keep cutting if I’m not that bad? He thinks, although he does start on the rice. He watches from the side as Woohyun’s hand move with quick precision over the vegetables, the big knife slicing through them with an ease that made the hair in his arms raise. He can’t help to glance worriedly at the man’s fingers, millimeters away from the moving steel. There’s only a little bit of cabbage left, all five fingers cramped over it as the knife falls quickly closer- “You gonna cut your hand!”
The knife stills mid-cut, and Woohyun looks up at him with a questioning look “What?”
Sunggyu blinks “Uh… Your fingers… You’re gonna slice your fingers, you’re cutting to close” he mumbles, unable to hide his reluctant tone.
“Oh” the man looks down at his hands and then laughs. He laughin’ at me? The fuck? Chop your stupid hand off then-! “Yeah, it gives you the creeps to watch someone do that, right?” the man looks at him with a smile “I remember I had the same feeling the first times I watched my instructors, I was like ‘Dude, your hand! That onion’s not worth it!’”
The chuckle comes out of his mouth before he can stop it, and it ends up deforming into a messy snort. He tries to save his cool and clears his throat, turning his face to the rice and ignoring the quick little thumps of the blade against the cut-board.
A knock on the door comes soon after, just when Woohyun asks Sunggyu to start with the baking as he finishes the dish for his lunch the next day. It reminds him that there’s a reason he’ there, and it’s the fact that Myungsoo was supposed to be there too… Like forty minutes before.
Then Myungsoo’s voice flows through the door “Hyung! I’m hungry” and the knock goes again.
A sigh escapes Woohyun as he reaches for a kitchen rag, his hands messy with food as he was making some rolls “Really, this timing of his-“
“I’ll go” Sunggyu says without thinking, and rushes away before the other man can see his exasperated face. He pulls the door open with a considerable amount of aggression, and rises an eyebrow to his friend mild shocked expression “What?” he spats “You should’ve been here like an hour ago”
“Huh?”
“The brownie’s gone cold”
“What are you doing here?”
“What? Am I not allowed?”
“I didn’t say that-“
“Then why the face? Are you coming in or not?”
Myungsoo’s face twists a little, and he seems about to lash out at him, but Woohyun comes to save the day once more, hands away from him and covered in mustard sauce “Myung! About time, come on in!”
***
part two
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Sunggyu-centric (Sunggyu/character; platonic Woohyun/Sunggyu)
Length:+29k
Summary: Sunggyu’s been filling the gaps the wrong way for a while now, but it’s not too late to smooth his sharp edges before they start to hurt. A man skilled with the knives seems to be the right person to do so.
Warnings: Age swap, language, underage drinking/smoking
Note: I feel the need to apologize to the person who requested this, because I took such a simple, inoffensive prompt and twisted it into this little monster. I’m not sure how it even happened, the story took a way of its own, but I truly hope it’s still good and enjoyable. So, hope you like!
To: akira_32
From: Your Secret Santa
It’s Monday again, and he sighs dejectedly to the ceiling, eyelids heavy and limbs tangled with the bed sheets. He strains his hearing as he lies on the bed. There’s barely any sound, the noise of distant cars comes through the window, an echoing bark from a lonely dog, a couple of birds, and then his feet. It’s a soft rustle; he comes once, twice, the chair moves, something on the couch, a mug on the counter, more steps. He halts just outside his door, he hears it, he waits, but all he gets is a short Bye, don’t be late, more shuffling of feet and the open-close of the door. Then it’s silent.
Monday again, he sighs to the ceiling. Thirty minutes later he finally gets up, because he can’t be late.
He finds the empty mug on the sink, the last remains of dark coffee diluted with the drops of water that fall from the faucet. He twists it close, can’t stand the little noise.
Brushing his teeth, washing his face, brushing his hair, putting on his uniform, picking up his bag, keys, wallet, phone. The open-close of the door, and then the noise of the city.
The bus ride is annoying, the passengers are annoying, the guy beside him is especially annoying, the crappy music seeping out his earplugs. He feels the scowl on his face, the way his lips furrow to the side, his left eye twitches.
It’s the goddamned morning rush, the bus is moving at a man’s walking pace. He’d probably walk faster, actually. He would do it, if only he wasn’t two miles away from the school yet. His shoulder is starting to ache, his bag is weighting down on his right arm, the left is clutching onto a handle, his neck hurts a bit, and he’s still sleepy. The bus halts abruptly, all the passengers slid forward, he gets his foot stepped on, his bag slides down his arm, his phone almost falls to the floor. The vehicle starts again, and everyone shuffle back to their places with annoyed grunts.
He sighs one more time.
Endless minutes later, he finally squeezes his way out of the bus, and the wave of resigned students welcome him to his school’s block. Dark blue swarms the sidewalk, feet dragging on the ground and whinny voices. A sea of tidy, haughty, fancy looking students. He doesn’t like them, as a general rule. He doesn’t need them. Not them, not the fancy uniform, not the fancy building, not the fancy school name on his stupid diploma. He doesn’t need any of it, but it looks like his father has a different opinion on the matter.
He sighs annoyed, how many times so far? Doesn’t want to think about it. No point.
A group of girls rush past him, one of them hitting his shoulder on her way. It’s so irritating, the feeling of being pushed off your center by someone who barely glances back with a face that he can’t be sure was apologetic or annoyed. Better be the former, or he’ll be seriously pissed… Not that it’d make a difference, really, he didn’t even know that idiot.
He slowly makes his way to the building, walking behind a block of painfully slow people that won’t let him pass through. He doesn’t say a word tough; he’s not in the mood for talking yet. When he’s finally free to walk at his own pace, he hurries to his classroom, goes to his place, at the back and beside the window, and flops ungracefully on the seat. His bag is on the desk, and he rummages for his book and notes, taking it all out to read for a last minute study session. He couldn’t force himself to study properly at home, didn’t really pay any mind until now, but he doesn’t want to fail the exam either… Or at least, doesn’t want to do too bad. It’s a feeling still rooted deeply inside, the need to do well, to make the effort worth it, to seek for that look of approval, of praise, of recognition. But he’s slowly losing it, it’s getting buried under the frustration, the resignation, the resentment, and... Well, some other stupid feelings he doesn’t want to dwell on.
He hears his classmates fill in lethargically, and the silence is broken by rustle, some comments, greetings and finally, chattering. Does anyone care for the freaking exam? No? Well screw you, I do-
“Hey” he hears next to him. He grunts in reply, not even acknowledging the boy sitting on his side, he’s still trying to study “Reading?” he hums “What?... Is it for some class?... For today?” silence, and then he feels the other lean in close to peak at his book. He makes an annoyed sound and shifts to distance himself from the guy “Wa-Wait, is it for now? Do we need to read something? Is it homework-?”
“Can you shut up?”
There’ a stricken look in the other’s face, then his features twist in offense and he turns back to the front, but says nothing in reply so he goes back to his studying. It crosses his mind, for a fraction of a second, to feel a tiny bit bad about his attitude, but then he shrugs it off. It was annoying, and the other knows damn well that he hates annoying people. Or he should know, in any case.
A sudden noise startles him slightly, and he sees the guy standing up and waving to someone “Hey, Kim, come sit here, I can’t stand this dude”
The scoff comes out before he can help it, but he doesn’t really care when the other sends him a glare, he only glares back, an eyebrow raised, and huffs before going back to his reading. A bit of shuffling later, someone else sits beside him again.
“Bad mood?” he hears, a different voice. He hums in answer, and all he gets is a mild “Ok”
There, someone finally got the hint. Of course it had to be Myungsoo.
---
“So… You coming?” is the first thing someone has said to him in the whole morning, and he’s not sure he likes it or not, for whichever reason.
He shrugs, then sighs “I guess… I’m hungry”
“Let’s go then” there’s a cute smile in Myungsoo’s face, but he doesn’t feel like smiling back. He pursues his lips and hums, then follows.
They sit alone, outside, on a bench. Myungsoo has a little lunchbox and a transparent thermic bottle filled with bright orange juice. He himself has a plastic wrapped sandwich and an unopened bottle of mineral water, both still have the price tag. He can’t help to stare at his hands, then Myungsoo’s, his own again.
“Anything wrong, Gyu?”
He hums and shrugs the question away, then starts eating.
There is, actually, and it’s the fact that he can’t remember a single time he had brought food from his home. Nothing he should care about really, but store bought food tires you really quickly, and he can’t be bothered to cook himself, doesn’t know how to, doesn’t care to learn how. What for? He can survive with this, it’s just him after all.
“Looks good” he concedes, mouth full.
“Oh, this? Yeah, want to try?”
Yeah “Nah, I’m good” he shrugs “Your mom?”
“Oh, no. My cousin”
He scrunches his brow in questioning “Weird”
“Kind of, but it’s good”
He leaves it at that, not really interested, focusing instead on pitying themselves for the incoming class.
---
He’s gotten himself in some trouble again. This time it’s with the Chemistry professor. He’s about to get detention, he can feel it, he can see it in the lanky man’s furrowed brow. He really doesn’t care much, what difference would it make anyway?
“You’ll stay after class, Mr. Kim, we’ll have a talk, understood?”
His face doesn’t shift, his mouth stays shut, he simply makes a noncommittal sound in his throat, runs the tip of his tongue against the edge of his teeth behind his lips, and looks outside the window. His fingers move impatiently in his pockets, he bites his tongue, his jaw locks and unlocks, and by the end of the class he’s still trying to tame back his retorts. Yes, he’s angry, but his talk back is reaching the limit for the day, he has to start watching it.
The classroom empties almost completely, only he and the professor are left.
“So…” the man starts, lifting his eyes form the papers on the desk “Anything you’d like to say Mr. Kim?”
“Nothing you’d like to hear” he responds, his voice flat and hard.
“Alright, sit down” the man says, waving to the nearest desk.
“No need-“
“I said sit down Mr. Kim”
He does, but crosses his arms and looks to the side pointedly, just to make it clear that he was not happy. He feels the man’s gaze on him, hears his silence, but doesn’t acknowledge any of it for a while, keeping his cool for as long as he can. It’s a challenge for him, this guy thinks he’s going to lower his head and apologize or something? He could wait as much as he wanted, he’s not going to yield-
“What’s wrong?”
He can’t hold back the little surprised jerk his head does, or the quick blinking of his eyes. One eyebrow goes up and he throws a side glance to the professor, finding the man looking at him with a calm, slightly concerned expression.
“Why?” he asks, his voice guarded and apathetic.
The man across from him shifts in his seat, a relaxed and slow movement that changes his position from the scolding professor to something that makes him look like his psychologist. Not that he has one, he doesn’t need one; he doesn’t need a goddamned shrink, never mind what the counselor says. He doesn’t need this man’s flat concern either, it irks him. He doesn’t need help, nor pity. All useless, if they want to be of any help, then they need to step out of his case, stay out of his business. Seriously, why do they even think he cares about what they think? He doesn’t give a flying fuck-
“Listen,” a little huff of air “Sunggyu” the man says, looking at him in the eye. Sunggyu holds the stare, just not to give in “I know you may think we teachers are all a bunch of heartless, dull people who don’t care about their students beyond grades, you all boys do at this age” the tone gets a bit sharper as the boy’s expressions morphs along the words, taking a turn to a scornful face, because seriously what the heck? Boys your age? Stupid old man “, but, I’m afraid I have to burst your bubble, we actually notice things”
“Mh” he pulls his eyes away, to a side, the other, he sinks a bit more on his seat “Alright, so?” he finally pushes.
“I’m trying to have a serious talk here with you, Sunggyu, I’d appreciate it if you’d drop the attitude for a little while” the voice is serious, stern, but still calm.
Sunggyu takes a moment to hold his ground, and then rolls his eyes and sighs. He guesses it was enough pushing for the day with the man; detention is one thing, the school trying to reach his father was a very different one, and something he does not want to go through, not a chance “Then please just tell me how long so I can go”
“How long?”
“Detention?”
“Oh, that” the man waves a hand dismissively “Never mind that. I asked a question, though, and I’d like an answer”
“What do you want to hear, then?”
“The truth”
“Of course” he holds back the scoff “Well then I don’t know what to tell you”
“Sunggyu, don’t think I don’t remember the year I had you back then”
He suddenly feels uncomfortable, caught, and admittedly stupid “What about it?” he asks, his voice tenser than before.
The other man doesn’t seem to notice, or just doesn’t pay any heed “You were such a good student, Sunggyu” he starts, and Sunggyu shifts angrily in his place “I now you may not like to hear this but it’s the truth, and the reason why I’m now asking you, what is wrong?”
“Nothing”
“Your disposition dropped first, you distanced yourself from your friends, started frequenting others, your attitude worsened even more, and now you’re starting to let your grades drop. I think I have reasons to ask-”
“No you don’t” he interrupted annoyed “You know what? I can get my grades back up if I want, I might, if I have to, but that’s as far as you get in my life”
“Sunggyu, lower your tone”
“Then don’t try to pry into my business” he retorted sharply, albeit in a softer voice.
The man looks pointedly at him, and he finds himself pulling his eyes away with a grimace. As much as he wants to stand his ground, he feels he’s too close to the line, he has to watch it.
“I’d rather talk this with you and try to help you through-“
“Well too bad” his teeth press together and he has to make an effort to pull his jaw open to speak “I don’t need your help”
---
They contact his father after all, because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. He has to give credit to his professor, though, because he didn’t seem as angry as he looked disappointed. But Sunggyu’s not sure which was worse.
In the end, he chooses to go to Myungsoo’s instead of his own home. The excuse is that he actually wants to improve his grades, and the professor loaded him with extra work instead of his customary detention. That was a good outcome, at least. Myungsoo’s always been good with his studies, and he’s the only guy that tolerates Sunggyu to the point of still call himself his friend, so it’s without a doubt his best shot.
“Oh, but I’m not going home today”
“What? Why?”
“It’s Monday”
“… And?”
“Don’t you remember what I told you last week?”
“Not… really” he admits.
“I have to go to my cousin’s”
“Oh… And that’s… Because…”
A sharp sigh denotes his friend’s irritation, but he half smiles at him and shrugs as a halfhearted apologize. It seems to be enough, Myungsoo shots him a lame little glare and relents “My parents agreed to let me go to his apartment until they’re back from work”
Sunggyu blinks with his brow scrunched “Why?”
“Because,” his friend starts with a frustrated tone “my cousin pestered them until they agreed. Seriously, did you not listen to a single word I told you?”
“Mh…” he looks away, keeping quiet for a few steps to avoid the answer “So, we’re going to your cousin’s?” there’s silence, and he looks to the side in question to see his friend pursuing his mouth at him “What?”
“I don’t know if it’d be ok”
“Why not?”
“Well… He doesn’t know… I mean”
“What?”
“I should tell him beforehand at least”
“Call him”
“I don’t know…”
“Hey!”
“W-what?”
“Look, I can behave, alright?”
“I didn’t say you couldn’t”
He clicks his tongue and huffs in anger, halting his walk and making his friend do the same “Look, if you don’t want him to meet me or something just say it”
“I didn’t say that” Myungsoo stresses, his own annoyance showing. Sunggyu doesn’t answer, only gives a shrug and looks to the side “You really need to stop taking everything so badly, alright?”
“I don’t take it badly, you make it sound as if you’re ashamed to be my friend or something”
“What? When did I-?” the other groans loudly “You know what forget about it. Think whatever you want to think. If you want to come, then come along, I don’t care”
“Right. If I’m going to be a burden then forget about it”
“What burden? Damn it Sunggyu-“
“I can behave just fine!” he repeats.
“And I never said you couldn’t!”
“You would think that after years of-!“
“Alright, enough!” Myungsoo snaps, ruffling his hair angrily. Sunggyu lets out a sharp breath through his nose and tries unsuccessfully to relax his scowl “Ok” his friend sighs “Ok, look” another loud breath and he opens his eyes “Listen here,” he finally looks at Sunggyu, his face much more controlled as well as his voice “What is it?”
“What is what?”
“What is your problem today? What happened?”
“Why-?”
“You’re especially… especially touchy today, what is it?”
“Nothing”
“Don’t nothing me, Sunggyu, what is it?”
“It’s really nothing, forget about it” he shrugs and resumes his walk.
Myungsoo catches up to him in no time “How am I supposed to forget about it if you’re going to go off at anything I say?”
“I just had a talk with a professor, that’s all. Now please forget about it?”
He meets a bit of reluctance before Myungsoo gives in “Fine, but calm down then”
“Yeah, yeah”
There’s silence as they keep walking, and Sunggyu considers going home, still a bit irked at the whole little banter. He really is in a tricky mood, and that usually ends up badly for them. Then again, going straight home is not tempting him either. Maybe he could just-
A message breaks his train of thoughts, so he takes his phone from his pocket and checks.
Foolin around at the maun stret. U commin?
He pursues his mouth at that, because it could be the solution for his evening… But he’s not really in the mood for “fooling around” with those guys. As much as it’s true that he started frequenting some less than ideal company, the deep, plain truth is he only does so to kill time and feel he actually fits with someone. It’s a chore-
“What? Are you going to meet those jerks?”
Myungsoo’s question is laced with annoyance and a bit of bitterness, so he answers with a little of his own “What if I do?”
“Dunno, you were just wanting to follow me around-,”
“I’m not following you around”
“-now you go after that little scruffy lot-“
“Scruffy lot?”
“-You just want to avoid going home, don’t you?”
Oh, you little bastard “As a matter of fact, I do. Any problem?”
A click of tongue “Do what you want, but don’t come complaining to me tomorrow. I know damn well that you can’t stand half those idiots, and another few can’t stand you”
He shrugs the comment off and turns to leave “Whatever Myungsoo, see you tomorrow, have fun with your cousin-“ he bumps into someone before he can finish.
“Ow!” someone says, and Sunggyu finds himself with a handful of grocery bags falling over him, his arms flailing instinctively to try to catch them before they fall to the ground.
“Ah, what the fuck?” he complains, shifting the bag that he ended up catching and taking a look to the person he collided with.
The man is accommodating another grocery bag in his arms, a handful of keys in one hand, a phone in the other and a duffel bag hanging from his elbow “Oh dear, I-“ he straightens up and looks at Sunggyu “I’m sorry, are you ok?”
Sunggyu huffs annoyed and turns to Myungsoo, handing the bag so he can leave at once. Myungsoo, though, walks past him and takes the man’s remaining bag “Let me help you, hyung” he says.
“Oh, hey Myung! I didn’t see you there” the man says, a stupid smile spreading on his face.
“I told you I was coming”
“I know, I was trying to text you, but…” he laughs lightly as he shrugs.
“Alright, let’s get in then?”
“Let’s go!” the older of them cheers, stops and looks at Sunggyu again “Oh my, I’m sorry! Let me take that bag, thanks” he smiles yet again as he frees his hands and proceeds to the building’s entrance just behind them, fumbling with the keys until he manages to open the door. He then holds it for Myungsoo, who turns and gives Sunggyu a questioning glance, but not a word. When he doesn’t answer, his friend sighs and shakes his head before walking into the apartment building. Watching curiously, the man finally asks “Oh… Oh wait, do you know each other?”
“Hm? Oh, yeah that’s a friend of mine, from school”
“Oh, then why don’t you invite him in?” again a stupid smile on the man’s face.
“No, I think he’s got more important business to attend” Myungsoo throws.
Sunggyu scoffs derisively and glares mildly “Keep your witty comments Myungsoo, I don’t need you to make a scene”
“You’re the one who can’t make up his mind”
“Oh I can, I’m leaving, didn’t you get that?”
“Then why are you still here?”
“Because you keep bothering me”
“I’m not-“
“Alright, guys” the man buts in, his voice serious for the first time “What’s wrong? Myungsoo if he has something else to do just let him be, what’s the matter?”
Well, thanks. He thinks, turning on his heels to walk away, but Myungsoo’s voice stops him in his tracks “He’s got nothing to do, that’s the matter”
“Myungs-“
“He asked me to let him come home with me-“
“Oh, shut it!”
“-but he thought he’d be intruding because I was coming to see you”
“Shut up, Myungsoo!” Sunggyu complains, his demeanor all but crumbling into a whinny fit “Don’t say that!”
“What? It’s the truth”
“It’s not!”
“Oh, but it’s alright” the man intercedes “You can absolutely come in!”
I don’t care, I’m off “I don-…” he stops, his tongue suddenly stuck to the roof of his mouth, so he clicks it, loudly “No, I’m goin-“
“Come on, Sunggyu” Myungsoo insists, his earnest tone finally betraying his intent “Just come with me, you don’t need to go with those jerks”
“I don’t think…”
“What? Woohyun told you it’s alright”
“Of course! Please come in, I was about to make something for Myungsoo to eat, you should totally join” said man smiles his stupid smile once more.
And it kind of convinces Sunggyu to tag along.
---
Small apartment, simple furnishing, but comfy. There’s a constant clattering of sounds from the kitchen, where Myungsoo’s cousin, Woohyun, went right after they got in. He seems to be cooking… something. Myungsoo is sitting beside him on a couch, flipping through the channels and still going on his rant on Sunggyu’s bad choice of company. And it’s not like he doesn’t agree, but well, things just happen and he doesn’t want to cut himself clean from the guys at once… As much as his friend denies it, they are fun to be, from time to time. That and it could bring his some trouble to ignore them out of the blue, but he supposes he can deal with that-
“Wanna play some COD?” Myungsoo asks suddenly, and Sunggyu is nodding enthusiastically before he even finishes the sentence.
“Your cousin has that?”
“That, RE 5 and 6, I think he has some Dark Souls” his friend comments as he rummages into the little doors under the TV, pulling out the game console and handling it to Sunggyu while he keeps searching for the game “Oh, he has Bioshock, you like that one, don’t you?”
“Yeah, didn’t play much though, got it…” borrowed, he finished in his head, his feet bouncing lightly.
“He has all of those- Oh! Here… Ah, no, it’s not this one…“ he drops the box in his hands and keeps going, pulling one after the other “Uh, here’s RE… Assassin… Oh? Hey, hyung! When did you buy Dishonored?” he calls loudly, holding one box close to his face.
“Huh? I got that one a month ago” Woohyun answers from the kitchen, his voice cushioned by a steady metallic sound, a wire whisk on a metal bowl, Sunggyu thinks “Decent enough”
“Mh” Myungsoo seems to ponder a while before turning to Sunggyu, who’s still controlling his surprise at the collection the man seems to have… And the slight envy, if he has to be honest “We could try this one sometime”
“Sure” he shrugs, already making himself comfortable on the floor and reaching to plug in the console.
“And here it is!”
They set to play immediately, barking back and forth to each other, eyes fixed on the screen and fingers fumbling swiftly on the controls. Time flies around them with such lightness Sunggyu barely registers the movement near him, he does catch, though, the sweet scent that starts floating all over the apartment, his stomach gets impatient in response, but he keeps his attention on the game.
He’s so into the game he doesn’t realize that it is past six, and then a hand falls on his shoulder “Come on guys, drop that a second”
It’s bad timing, and Sunggyu is annoyed by the interruption that makes him miss a crucial hit. The snarky comeback is at the tip of his tongue, ready to shot when he turns and sees Myungsoo’s cousin smiling at him and his tongue craws back. He guesses is not right to snap at the guy, he’s in his home after all, using his games and… About to eat his food apparently, if the table is any indication.
“Hold on a sec, hyung” Myungsoo says distractedly.
“You’ve been playing long enough, come on”
“Yeah, in a bit”
“Myung” Woohyun calls weakly “There’re lemon cookies too” a grunt was his response “I made this for you, little brat, drop the game”
“Yeah I know, I’ll go in a second” he dismisses again, a bit annoyed apparently “Come on Sunggyu, you’re getting beat up”
“Huh? Oh… It’s ok” he looks up at the older man, who twists his mouths and glances to the table, and then something gets a bit uncomfortable inside: secondhand guilt “Uh, come on, Myung, I’m starving” he finally says, standing up and eyeing the table better. His mouth waters a little bit; there’s brownies, obviously, but also light colored cookies, little soft looking pastries and half a dozen muffins, along with two mugs of what looks like hot chocolate “Oh…” he mumbles before blinking away from the tempting sight and towards his still absorbed by the game friend “Drop that Myungsoo, your cousin made a freaking lot of stuff for you” he pushes the boy’s back with his shoe.
“He always does-“
“The more reason for you to drop that, come on!” he barks without patience.
“There, your friend knows how to appreciate my effort” Woohyun sends a pitiful glare in Myungsoo’s direction, then turns to his guest with a little smile “You like sweets Sunggyu?”
“Uh?...” me? Sweets? Pff, nah “I.. Yeah”
***
“He’s the only son of my mom’s sister” Myungsoo says the following day. Sunggyu hums a bored sound, even when he was the one who asked about this “He went to culinary school and graduated just recently” a bit of silence, and Sunggyu hums again, just to keep his friend talking “Few years older than me… He’s twenty-two or twenty-three, I think. It was an even number so twenty-two I guess”
“Seems like a decent guy”
“He’s… He’s ok, a bit dense sometimes”
“He seems to care-…” he stops, scorns himself for being so stupid and leaves the phrase hanging open.
“Care? About what?”
“Nothing, you coming or not?” he pushes, his stomach asking for food and his mood for a way out of the conversation.
“Sure” Myungsoo concedes, a quiet look of curiosity barely held before they start walking.
---
Back home, Sunggyu all but drops his ass on the couch, school bag falling on the floor, legs sprawled. He waits then, listening to the silence of the apartment, the soft ticking of the clock on the wall, the cars outside, a barking dog, people talking loudly. The little red light of the TV, the DVD player.
Half an hour later he finally picks himself up, and drags his feet to the little kitchen. The fridge is half empty, takeout leftovers, bottled juice, packages of premade meals. The freezer is not different. The cupboard then, he mumbles in his head, pulling at the doors above the counter. Packs of snacks, instant noodles, soups… And a little plastic container, behind a box of tea. He had forgotten… No he hadn’t, he was in fact looking for it, just didn’t want to admit it to himself. He reaches out and pulls the bag out.
--“It’s ok! Just take some home” the guy smiled, big, stupid and… Just too soft “You liked these, right?”
“Y-yeah…”
“Then just take them” a little Tupper ware was pushed into his hands, a few brownies and lemon cookies inside “Myung is sick of my cooking it seems…”
“Oh, don’t start hyung. We’re leaving” Myungsoo said, pulling at Sunggyu’s sleeve.
Woohyun clicked his tongue “I’m spoiling you”
“You are, and I never asked you to do so” the other threw back, but a light tone of amusement colored his words in a way that made his cousin smile… Again.
Sunggyu felt odd, so he threw a loose “thanks, bye” and left.--
He eyes the container, the sweets inside. Charity? He scoffs in annoyance. Pity? He’s actually getting mad, and thinks of throwing the shit out. He doesn’t like sweets anyway… Or yeah, he likes them, but who gives a fuck? It’s more leftovers, in the end.
But it’s not the same.
It’s another half an hour when he sits down on the same couch, a mug of coffee and a little plate with slightly crumpled sweets.
---
He showers quickly, the hot water runs out too fast. He’s a bit cold afterward, the tiny window on the side is stuck with a narrow bit open, and the cold air of the night gets in. He towels himself hastily and puts on his worn sweatpants and t-shirt, then walks back into the kitchen, and looks around.
The same as always, should he throw some frozen shit or some instant shit on the microwave? Maybe some leftovers?
He scratches at his belly, rubs his bare toes together. Honestly, he’s not even hungry, and he has homework to do, but fuck it, he doesn’t feel like doing that either… And then that stupid guilt comes back.
He disregarded the feeling for a while until now, but for what? More free time alone at home and lectures from the teachers? Not worth it. At least he gets to do something… And maybe, when he brings his school report home, then maybe, he’ll look at it… And be glad. He would be glad, right? After all, what’s the point on all this? Of him being alone in the little, sad apartment the whole fucking day? What’s the freaking point if not for him to have his good grades on a good school, right?
So yeah, he’ll do his damned homework.
---
He falls asleep over the bed sheets, the bed still made, his cellphone loose in his hand, the lights on. But somehow, he wakes up under the blankets, tightly tucked in, his phone on the little bedside table, the lights off.
He knows how, he knows who. Who else? And it makes him feel a bit lonely. How is it even possible to miss someone who lives with you?
But that thought alone makes him angry with himself, because he’s being stupid and overdramatic again. What’s with the missing crap? He’s not missing anyone, he’s big enough to deal with these things, stop moping! Things are like this for a reason and that’s all there is to it, he can’t do nothing about it… Yet.
He’s in a bad mood already, the voice quickly bidding him goodbye from the other side of the door makes it even worse… Or a bit better, he’s not sure.
***
Mid-week. Time moves so slowly. It’s like a long, plain, dusty road that stretches far away from sight to both sides, horizon to your back, horizon to your front. So you just walk. The thing is, the weekend is no better, it’s actually worse-
“Kim, pay attention!”
He snaps his head to the front of the classroom on instinct, and then forces his face and posture to slacken to show he doesn’t care. He does, a bit, but he’s got a point to make, and that’s more important.
He receives a supporting scoff from near him, one of the “scruffy bunch”, probably. Myungsoo, on the other hand, just pursues his mouth and stares ahead. He shrugs minimally at it, even if it makes him a bit edgy, he can’t please everyone.
He tries to keep his daydreaming at bay anyway, but he really can’t care less about the lesson. To think that he’d been one of those idiots at the very front at some point, it’s ridiculous.
Years back he’d been sitting first line on the front, eyes stuck to the teacher, dropping everything on his notebook, tidy handwriting, colors and perfect display of information in every page, his hand rising every now and then, questions answers and silly little comments he could throw. Why? You would ask, because it seemed the right way to go. It seemed like a good try, but it was not worth it. Too much effort, too much animosity around him, for what? He didn’t notice all those things, the show was unnecessary.
Just a year back, he’d still be writing everything down like a good boy, but opted for silent attention and diligent application, the middle of the room seemed good enough, he mingled with the group, didn’t catch eyes, stayed away from the distractions in the back. All he cared about was getting good grades and please the people that mattered. It was for his future after all, right? He supposed so back then.
Months rolled past and suddenly he had gotten bored of the silent play. He still made the effort to get good grades, he still carried his academic life responsibly, but the stationary behavior had been enough. He started avoiding home after school, following Myungsoo around usually, going to the library on his own, just wasting time on the main street, bumping into some classmates… Those classmates, the very same ones that Myungsoo disliked so much, the very same that just asked him to ditch school after the following break… And maybe he would, he’s not going to pay attention anyway.
That wasn’t good was it? But, surprisingly, that got a reaction, if maybe not a good one. It brought poorly masked surprise, a handful of questions, and then dubious silence. It seemed that a calculated mediocre grade brought more of his attention than his regular good ones. He was trying his hand at it, but, then again, it also brought that stupid guilt he hated so much. He wonders how much it will take for it to just disappear, and how bad the result would be with even lower grades-
“Kim!”
---
“Really?”
“What?”
Myungsoo stares at his bag pointedly, then up to his eyes “Really?”
He clicks his tongue in a show of annoyance “No point in staying”
“Oh, no, right. Important stuff to do out there” his friend mocks “Like, planting your ass on a bench and look at the people passing as that jolly bunch of dickheads nurse their badass-pride by inconspicuously getting drunk”
“Yeah… Sounds productive enough”
“Oh yeah” it doesn’t sound like a question, but Sunggyu supposes it was intended to be one. Or something akin to one.
“What’s the matter? I’m not the one getting drunk”
“Yeah, for now”
“What?” he scoffs “You know I don’t do alcohol”
“Yeah, for now” his friend repeats, disapproval painted on his face.
“You know what? I don’t have time for your scenes, man”
“Oh, sure you don’t” the Myungsoo throws his hands in a mocking gesture “, important stuff has tight schedules. Can’t be late to stare at the birds, might miss the pigeon of 2 o’clock” Sunggyu is actually tempted to laugh, but tries to keep his cool and just turns to walk away “I know he’s your favorite!” his friend calls at his back “Send him my regards!”
---
True enough, there is a brown and white pigeon staring funnily at him as he kills time in the park. Its little head snapping one side and the other while its yellow eyes take turns to look at him. It’s kind of cute… Or not, it’s plain stupid, actually. Yeah it is, so he kicks his foot in the air and shoos the bird off.
“You should!” one of the guys says, way louder than needed, honestly.
He keeps staring around, until a slap on the back of his head ruffles his hair “Talking to you, dude” another says.
“Huh?”
“I said you should dye your hair some flashy color” says one that has, in fact, white blond hair.
He blinks at the other guy “Why would I do that?”
“Because you’re fucking boring, that’s why” another says, pulling at a lock of his dark hair.
He swats the hand away in annoyance, the guys laugh obnoxiously “Come on! Don’t wanna ruin your good boy image or what?” mr. blonde pushes.
“I don’t have such thing” he mumbles.
“You do!”
“Or you did, anyways” another shrugs, black and purple on his head this time “Whatever, you should dye it”
“Yeah, like bright red or some shit like that” the third offers, caramel hair messed up by the wind.
“Yeah, you’ll have that asshole Chemistry dude shitting his pants when he sees you”
“Right, what’s with that guy, he your sugar daddy or somethin’?”
“Oh man! Shut up!”
The three boys break into a fit of laughter, while Sunggyu sighs in exasperation “He’s not!”
“You sure ‘bout that?”
“Yeah, I’m pretty fuckin’ sure! Drop it!”
“Woah, don’t get your pants in a fit, dude, just a question”
“A stupid question”
“A question, anyway” another insists, and after a while Sunggyu understand that they’re actually waiting for a response.
“What?”
“What’s with him?”
“Oh… Nothing, I just used to be a good student, ‘s all”
“Oh, good boy gone bad, or somethin’ like that?”
He makes a noncommittal sound and shrugs, just before a barely cold bottle is pressed against his hand. The amber liquid sloshes a bit inside, the apple juice they’ve been sipping at since they sneaked out of the school.
He looks to the boy to his side with a questioning face, and the other nods to him sharply “Have some”
“Nah, thanks” he refuses, but the other guy doesn’t take the bottle back.
“No, you’re here with us, we share the fun. Have some”
Fun? What the heck do you find fun in this shit? “I don’t dig this kind of fun”
“That’s because you don’t know this kind of fun, man” a second one leans over the back of the bench “Give it a go, it’s not like you’ll get drunk off your ass just by this little bit”
He’s about to refuse once more, but then, what’s the point? He’ll be sitting there doing nothing, listening to their silly bantering until he gets sick of it and leaves. This way at least he’s part of their round. Can’t be that bad.
So he chugs down a big swallow, and then grimaces at the taste “Oh hell, it’s disgusting” he nearly throws the bottle back at the now laughing guy.
“It is, right?” the other agrees.
They don’t make sense, but Sunggyu snorts and shrugs it off. Days like this one, they’re kinda fun to be with.
---
He gets sick of them after all, of sitting and doing nothing but talk bullshit, drink shitty beer and stare at pigeons. But it’s pleasantly late already, school’s been over since a while ago, bit more than an hour maybe, and he’s now leisurely strolling down the main street, hands in his pockets and an annoying yet curious fuzzy feeling in his head. Can’t be drunk, but maybe a bit dizzy. He trips over nothing, stumbles a bit, but it’s ok, it’s just fine.
It’s not so bad, after all, drinking a little with some friends, killing time. They didn’t do anything bad, did they? Maybe talked loudly, bothered some pricks, shooed some pigeons, talked some bullshit. And he had a decently good time. Like, now he knows Jiyeon from History has the hots for him, who would have thought! And he probably should dye his hair after all, for the heck of it. He laughs as he imagines the faces of reaction, Myungsoo’s, the teacher’s… His father’s. Now that’d be worth it, it’d be worth whatever the school could throw at him in retaliation. Scolding? Detention? Suspension? Who gives a fuck? It’ll be fine, he’ll be fine. He is fine.
Or maybe not entirely fine, because he trips on thin air for the fifth time and stumbles a bit to the side. It’s ok, just making a fool of himself in front of strangers, only this time he manages to crash into something. Something that yelps.
“Ow” he mumbles, and blinks up with a frown and a sour face ready to fend off any complain. He’s just not in the mood for troublesome people, he’s in a good mood for once, alright?
But then his eyes go a bit wide, because he kinda knows this person. As if to prove him right, the other also blinks a few times at him, and then there’s that stupid smile “Oh, hi! You’re Myungsoo’s friend, right?”
“Uh, yeah” he says, slowly.
“Oh…” the man frowns a bit, curiosity or something in his eyes as he stares, and then looks around. Sunggyu’s is not sure why, but he looks around too, just in case “So…” the older man calls his attention back “Sunggyu, was it?”
“Yeah… And you’re Boohyun, right?”
“Woohyun” the smile comes back “So, what are you doing ‘round here? School’s over” Sunggyu hums, pursues his mouth and considers telling this man to mind his own business and leaving, but then Woohyun talks again “Anyway, I’m doing some grocery shopping, friends are coming tomorrow and I have to start with the food as soon as possible. They’re just three but eat like an army” he laughs with a silly sound.
Sunggyu wonders why is he being told this, he didn’t ask, did he? Woohyun keeps talking, but he just doesn’t pay much attention, he’s actually searching for a polite way to shut him up and leave. Well, look at that, trying to be polite “Hum, I have…” he starts.
“Why don’t you come over?” Woohyun beats him.
“What?”
“Come over, Myung is coming after his photography club” he looks at his wrist watch “It’ll be over in a little while”
“I… Uh, I don’t think-“
“Come on! You can help me out”
“What?”
“Did you like the lemon cookies from last time?” Sunggyu manages a single nod before Woohyun goes on “Perfect then, I’m totally baking some for now. Oh, I’ll teach you! Or you can just use the PS while I work, it’s also fine. You guys love that thing, don’t you? Come on, we still have to get some vegetables, I’m out of cinnamon and chocolate- Oh, and napkins!” he starts walking, and Sunggyu hastily follows him before he can help himself.
“Wait, I’m… I was going home actually” he manages to explain as he walks behind the other.
“Oh? You have to be home?” Woohyun asks looking over his shoulder.
And Sunggyu frowns, because no he doesn’t have to be home. He doesn’t want to be home either. He was actually going to walk around until he found something to do, someplace to spend some time, or, if he ends up going home after all, he’ll just spend the hours on his own, brooding and sulking, working himself into a sour mood. In the best of cases he’ll do some school work and then turn off his brain in front of the old television until he falls asleep. Promising.
“Nah”
“Perfect then, let’s go!”
---
He wants to laugh at himself, or at Woohyun for that matter. This is ridiculous.
“Try cutting it a bit thinner” he hears the man. This is stupid, he thinks. Who told him to get himself into a cooking class with this freaking ball of sunshine? He didn’t want to cook, didn’t care to learn to cook, so why in hell-? “Perfect! You’re good with the knives, huh?” Woohyun smiles at him, and he drops his eyes to the carrot his butchering.
Good? Yeah right, keep your pleasantries to yourself… Alright? … “… R-really?”
“Sure, Myungsoo’d have cut his thumb already” the other says lightly.
Sunggyu has to chuckle at that, because he believes it’s the truth. And that must mean he’s not all that bad either… Right?
“Now what?”
“You can start with the rice. I’ll finish the cutting”
Why can’t I keep cutting if I’m not that bad? He thinks, although he does start on the rice. He watches from the side as Woohyun’s hand move with quick precision over the vegetables, the big knife slicing through them with an ease that made the hair in his arms raise. He can’t help to glance worriedly at the man’s fingers, millimeters away from the moving steel. There’s only a little bit of cabbage left, all five fingers cramped over it as the knife falls quickly closer- “You gonna cut your hand!”
The knife stills mid-cut, and Woohyun looks up at him with a questioning look “What?”
Sunggyu blinks “Uh… Your fingers… You’re gonna slice your fingers, you’re cutting to close” he mumbles, unable to hide his reluctant tone.
“Oh” the man looks down at his hands and then laughs. He laughin’ at me? The fuck? Chop your stupid hand off then-! “Yeah, it gives you the creeps to watch someone do that, right?” the man looks at him with a smile “I remember I had the same feeling the first times I watched my instructors, I was like ‘Dude, your hand! That onion’s not worth it!’”
The chuckle comes out of his mouth before he can stop it, and it ends up deforming into a messy snort. He tries to save his cool and clears his throat, turning his face to the rice and ignoring the quick little thumps of the blade against the cut-board.
A knock on the door comes soon after, just when Woohyun asks Sunggyu to start with the baking as he finishes the dish for his lunch the next day. It reminds him that there’s a reason he’ there, and it’s the fact that Myungsoo was supposed to be there too… Like forty minutes before.
Then Myungsoo’s voice flows through the door “Hyung! I’m hungry” and the knock goes again.
A sigh escapes Woohyun as he reaches for a kitchen rag, his hands messy with food as he was making some rolls “Really, this timing of his-“
“I’ll go” Sunggyu says without thinking, and rushes away before the other man can see his exasperated face. He pulls the door open with a considerable amount of aggression, and rises an eyebrow to his friend mild shocked expression “What?” he spats “You should’ve been here like an hour ago”
“Huh?”
“The brownie’s gone cold”
“What are you doing here?”
“What? Am I not allowed?”
“I didn’t say that-“
“Then why the face? Are you coming in or not?”
Myungsoo’s face twists a little, and he seems about to lash out at him, but Woohyun comes to save the day once more, hands away from him and covered in mustard sauce “Myung! About time, come on in!”
***
part two