(no subject)
Holy shit.
You know when they say you see your life flash before your eyes before you die? It's not true.
Okay, well, I didn't almost die, but it was pretty damn close.
It sounds so stupid when I think about it. "I slid into the ditch" sounds so much less worse than it is. More like, "I flew all over the road and then ploughed into the ditch, crashing through a barb-wire fence and stopping just before going up onto the service road" is more accurate. It wouldn't be so bad if I was on a back road or something, but when your on the highway with no cellphone, holy crap is it the scariest thing you've ever experienced.
It's entirely my fault. It really is. I was probably going faster than I should have been for the road conditions. But instead of the road being completely icey, there were just patches of ice, so for the most part you've got good grip and then all of a sudden you're about to die.
A very nice man lent me his cellphone and then drove me all the way to my sister's (and I thanked him profusely while trying not to bawl my eyes out). But just as we were leaving my car (not even my car, my mom's car. Of course I'm driving the GOOD car. I just have the greatest fucking luck, I swear), we passed this car stopped on the side of the road. We're not even a few meters in front of him when we here this crash and someone had rear-ended him and they both went spinning into the ditch.
And that was it. I'm not going back out on the roads today. I'm not driving in this weather.
My mom's car is currently in the ditch right now, we have to get a tow. A RCMP officer stopped after I left and took my purse, so I have to go to the police station to get that back. I kind of just want to go to sleep forever. I'm so tired now and I've told my sister and my mom that I'm going to go take a nap, but I don't think I will be able to fall asleep. My mind is on hyper-mode and all I can think about is what happened.
And, oh god, I feel so incredibly bad. We only have two working vehicles right now (the brakes on my car are kind of non-existant since I almost hit a dog the other day) and I smash one (not smashed, really. Scratched and without a front tire. Possibly undercarriage damage since I hit a fence post and broke it in half.) I feel bad because I'm perfectly fine and it was entirely my stupid fault, I was going too fast (but I'm too afraid to admit it to anyone) and now my mom's car is damaged and its all my fault. And the scary thing is, I don't have enough money to cover the damages. I can probably replace the tire but if there's any other damage I'm screwed.
And, oh god, I hope my dad's insurance doesn't go through the roof. I hope when I finally get my car registered and insured under my name, I hope it doesn't cost ME an arm and a leg.
This is why I never want to leave my house ever again and just sleep. Sleep can't hurt anybody. Staying in bed is the only way to live a completely safe life and I think that's what I should do since I can't drive because I have ZERO luck with cars. Take for example my Escort. First, the fan belts need to be fixed. Then the bearings. Then the fanbelts AGAIN because the guys that "fixed" my car put a bad belt in it. Then my stereo. Now my brakes.
And now my mom's car is in the ditch and oh god, I think I'm going to throw up. I just keep digging my family a bigger hole when it comes to vehicles and money. I feel so guilty. My family can't afford this. They just can't. We're broke. We have no money. Not enough for all the repairs that I seem to be causing.
I'm not driving anymore. Not for a while.
You know when they say you see your life flash before your eyes before you die? It's not true.
Okay, well, I didn't almost die, but it was pretty damn close.
It sounds so stupid when I think about it. "I slid into the ditch" sounds so much less worse than it is. More like, "I flew all over the road and then ploughed into the ditch, crashing through a barb-wire fence and stopping just before going up onto the service road" is more accurate. It wouldn't be so bad if I was on a back road or something, but when your on the highway with no cellphone, holy crap is it the scariest thing you've ever experienced.
It's entirely my fault. It really is. I was probably going faster than I should have been for the road conditions. But instead of the road being completely icey, there were just patches of ice, so for the most part you've got good grip and then all of a sudden you're about to die.
A very nice man lent me his cellphone and then drove me all the way to my sister's (and I thanked him profusely while trying not to bawl my eyes out). But just as we were leaving my car (not even my car, my mom's car. Of course I'm driving the GOOD car. I just have the greatest fucking luck, I swear), we passed this car stopped on the side of the road. We're not even a few meters in front of him when we here this crash and someone had rear-ended him and they both went spinning into the ditch.
And that was it. I'm not going back out on the roads today. I'm not driving in this weather.
My mom's car is currently in the ditch right now, we have to get a tow. A RCMP officer stopped after I left and took my purse, so I have to go to the police station to get that back. I kind of just want to go to sleep forever. I'm so tired now and I've told my sister and my mom that I'm going to go take a nap, but I don't think I will be able to fall asleep. My mind is on hyper-mode and all I can think about is what happened.
And, oh god, I feel so incredibly bad. We only have two working vehicles right now (the brakes on my car are kind of non-existant since I almost hit a dog the other day) and I smash one (not smashed, really. Scratched and without a front tire. Possibly undercarriage damage since I hit a fence post and broke it in half.) I feel bad because I'm perfectly fine and it was entirely my stupid fault, I was going too fast (but I'm too afraid to admit it to anyone) and now my mom's car is damaged and its all my fault. And the scary thing is, I don't have enough money to cover the damages. I can probably replace the tire but if there's any other damage I'm screwed.
And, oh god, I hope my dad's insurance doesn't go through the roof. I hope when I finally get my car registered and insured under my name, I hope it doesn't cost ME an arm and a leg.
This is why I never want to leave my house ever again and just sleep. Sleep can't hurt anybody. Staying in bed is the only way to live a completely safe life and I think that's what I should do since I can't drive because I have ZERO luck with cars. Take for example my Escort. First, the fan belts need to be fixed. Then the bearings. Then the fanbelts AGAIN because the guys that "fixed" my car put a bad belt in it. Then my stereo. Now my brakes.
And now my mom's car is in the ditch and oh god, I think I'm going to throw up. I just keep digging my family a bigger hole when it comes to vehicles and money. I feel so guilty. My family can't afford this. They just can't. We're broke. We have no money. Not enough for all the repairs that I seem to be causing.
I'm not driving anymore. Not for a while.