I'm noticing a definite correlation between times that I deal with my mother and my anxiety. The less I speak to her, the better I feel. My mood is more even-keeled, I sleep better, and I feel closer to happy than I have been in months. When I set up a time to see her, I get more and more panicked leading up to the moment when I finally see her. I ( Read more... )

Every time I come home from vacation, I'm torn between two feelings. There is a certain sadness to return to the real world, but I also always feel a certain zest to be under my own roof snuggling in my own linens and using my bathroom again.

This homecoming, however, was quite different.

I took motion sickness medicine prior to boarding the plane ( Read more... )

So...a couple of weeks or so after the last time I posted, I hit rock bottom. I started having anxiety attacks. I didn't understand the full extent of what "living with anxiety" means until this started to happen to me. They would hit me after I woke up before I needed to go to work. They would hit me on the way to work. Usually, I could make it ( Read more... )

I've been really frustrated with my mom lately. I just really can't wait to be out on my own. Last week, she microwaved our blender, and I'm pretty much the only one in the house who used it. I had just bought a ton of stuff to make smoothies, and then she showed me how she had caused the ridiculous cracks up the side of the pitcher. (Apparently ( Read more... )

Happy 2011! New Year's Eve had its drama (doesn't it always), but I spent it with my friends and eventually I ended up at Alex's. Drama is way too long and insignificant to post now.

Mom and Anne have been having a blowout over the last few days and apparently we may all be going our separate ways soon. (???) No one communicates well in my family, ( Read more... )

Things that are pissing me off right now ( Read more... )

Yes, I'm still alive. The internet situation has not improved; I still don't have it in my room, but I can get on in the icy cold front room of my house where the phone line comes in or in my mom's room where she has a second line (but only when she's not home). She's currently on winter break, so my internet time will probably be cut drastically ( Read more... )

Well, Alex and I worked everything out! I managed to get him to come out of the house and go to the park with me on Saturday, and I explained what I had been thinking all week since I had been backing off and he hadn't shown any signs of missing me. I also mentioned the "What does SHE want?!" comment, and he said that he'd been joking. However, I ( Read more... )

The last week or so has been an interesting adventure. Anne texted me and told me she would be unable to make it to the Lady Gaga concert with me, and I figured it'd be no problem finding someone else to go with me. I figured I'd ask Alex and his family first, but all five of them had their various reasons (Alex has class, Will has to work, his ( Read more... )

We all know how my mom has too much free time on her hands since she's on summer break, riiiiiiiiiiiiight?

Well, now that she's straightened up the entire house, organized the fridge and freezer (down to LABELING WHERE EVERYTHING GOES!), read books, played with the doggie, and spent an obscene amount of time on the internet, she decided one day to ( Read more... )