001 || Accidental Video

[idkmybfftrash]

[The video feed cuts in to offer you a view of one (1) tanned, scarred, mafia assassin, face eating lawn. Said face turns toward the camera and red eyes blink open, glaring death, murder, dismemberment, mass genocide and likely nuclear strike somewhere in there as well, which is all kind of ruined the next second when he spits out a couple blades

Comments

video

[timisnotme]

*Tim is in a pretty bad mood. He's been in a terrible mood for a while for reasons he doesn't want to go into. But that... that was priceless. Sorry Xanxus. He is just going to laugh in your face for a bit.*

Looks like you may need some help with that spine hammock.

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[idkmybfftrash]

[ He blinks at the screen. ...the fuck? Who the hell is this? And more importantly, where is he so Xanxus can kill him for that laughing. Either way, have some suspicious glaring. Keywords relevant.]

...I think I've got it handled. Who the fuck are you?

Re: video

[timisnotme]

Tim. Who the hell are you?

video

[idkmybfftrash]

I don't know a Tim. [ Not that he'd be bothered to remember your name anyway. Also, can't care about introducing himself. ] Why are you on my contact list?

[alwaysaboom]

[Oh great, another one.]

Whoever you are, this isn't your world.

[idkmybfftrash]

[ What, another one? What the hell is this? He really needs to start paying more attention to the new hires. Regardless he doesn't get it. ]

Not shit, I don't live in Japan nor would I ever be here if it wasn't absolutely necessary.

[alwaysaboom]

This isn't Japan, this is Wonderland. You're stuck here like all of us.

[idkmybfftrash]

[ Blink. Uh. Wut? ]

...You've got to be fucking kidding me.

[He stares for a second, eyes narrowed, before coming to a conclusion.]

You're all batshit, aren't you? I got dumped in a goddamn loony bin.

Audio;

[bufudynes]

You will not be able to reach the people you are so kindly trying to contact. You are no longer in your world.

Audio;

[idkmybfftrash]

[ What the hell, another one with this world crap? ]

...Meaning?

Audio;

[bufudynes]

This is not your world. You have been taken from your world and placed in this place. It is called Wonderland.

Audio;

[idkmybfftrash]

[An eyeroll.]

'Wonderland?' Really? [ A snort. ] You can't be serious.

video;

[hurricanebomber]

[....Oh god, seriously?

Seriously?]

Xanxus.

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[idkmybfftrash]

[ Blink. UGH. He just got done dealing with you brats. Have a derisive eyeroll and a sneer. ]

What? You need someone to come back and change your fucking diaper too? That's the arcobaleno's job.

video;

[hurricanebomber]

Shut the fuck up for five minutes. [Would probably never talk to Xanxus like this if it were in person.] Where do you think you are? Because it sure as fuck isn't Japan or Italy.

video;

[idkmybfftrash]

[ Aw hell no, you did not just- ]

I'm sorry, trash, were you saying something? Because all I heard 'Please, Xanxus, come crush my skull underfoot.' Gladly.

I was in Japan two fucking seconds ago. How the hell would I be somewhere else? There weren't any Bovino around with one of their dumbass glitchy canons.

[Video]

[bone_genius]

[Sheeeee doesn't know why this guy is so upset.... aaaaannnddd she doesn't care. But he needs to be corrected about something.]

There are no Neanderthals here. Only Homo sapiens.

[Video]

[idkmybfftrash]

[ Have a scrutinizing glare. ]

...Great. So glad to have that tidbit of uselessness clarified. That all?

[Video]

[bone_genius]

[Shrug and obliviousness.]

Yeah.

Oh, my name is Doctor Temperance Brennan.

[Video]

[idkmybfftrash]

Okay.

[ He's not going to remember it and he makes no mental note to try. But, oh, 'doctor' might be useful in the future. ]

What kind of doctor?