001 || Accidental Video

[idkmybfftrash]

[The video feed cuts in to offer you a view of one (1) tanned, scarred, mafia assassin, face eating lawn. Said face turns toward the camera and red eyes blink open, glaring death, murder, dismemberment, mass genocide and likely nuclear strike somewhere in there as well, which is all kind of ruined the next second when he spits out a couple blades

Comments

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[hurricanebomber]

[....Oh god, seriously?

Seriously?]

Xanxus.

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[idkmybfftrash]

[ Blink. UGH. He just got done dealing with you brats. Have a derisive eyeroll and a sneer. ]

What? You need someone to come back and change your fucking diaper too? That's the arcobaleno's job.

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[hurricanebomber]

Shut the fuck up for five minutes. [Would probably never talk to Xanxus like this if it were in person.] Where do you think you are? Because it sure as fuck isn't Japan or Italy.

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[idkmybfftrash]

[ Aw hell no, you did not just- ]

I'm sorry, trash, were you saying something? Because all I heard 'Please, Xanxus, come crush my skull underfoot.' Gladly.

I was in Japan two fucking seconds ago. How the hell would I be somewhere else? There weren't any Bovino around with one of their dumbass glitchy canons.

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[hurricanebomber]

And now people who clearly aren't all Japanese are telling you you're in another world called Wonderland. Right?

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[idkmybfftrash]

Because Japan's never had people that aren't Japanese in it. And you and me and half the goddamn Vongola surely aren't any kind of indication of that.

[ A snort and he looks away for a second, dropping the subject because he's really not in the mood to split hairs with this kid. ]

Whatever. So what's this bullshit about 'Wonderland'?

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[hurricanebomber]

[Oh thank you, because he really didn't want to get into that either.]

I'm going to assume you don't know anything about quantum physics and keep this simple for you. It's like another dimension that sucks people in at random from different parallel worlds. They call it Wonderland because it's kind of like the book.

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[idkmybfftrash]

[ Excuse him while he gives you his best 'I'm entertaining this bit of nonsense only because you aren't close enough for me to punt right now' face. But if Byakuran and Ghost and his alternate realities shit wasn't a trip this can't be... entirely impossible. Doesn't mean he has to be happy about it. ]

So the white haired freak, but as an entire world? [ A snort. ] I'm getting fucking sick of this parallel dimensions shit.

video; I really suck at going to bed 8|

[hurricanebomber]

[He has seen that face from way too many people now to be that impressed. But still, it's Xanxus.]

You're not the only one.

What was the last thing that happened before you got here?

video; me too, bro, me too 8| I had to force myself away at 4am last night :|

[idkmybfftrash]

[ He cocks an eyebrow and give a little headtilt. He's still not getting how time works into this business aside from the shenanigans that were already afoot when he was magicked out of Japan. ]

...Saving your pathetic ass from the blue-haired bitch and her prehistoric friend, then Byakuran getting his wings ripped off. [ Not going to mention who did the ripping or how it wasn't him. ] Did you pick up amnesia or are you honestly just that braindead?

video; rp why so addicting /orzzzz

[hurricanebomber]

So right after Juudaime kicked Byakuran's ass. Got it. [Yeah, he went there. Because you're being a bitch, Xanxus.] Fucking time travel bullshit aside, we're not from the same point in time. Most of us come from days to weeks after we got sent back to our own time.

video; orzzzz my life

[idkmybfftrash]

[ Have a sneer and an eye twitch. Whatever, he'll find you later and strangle you, it's cool. ]

So you're... from the future-past.

[ in b4 'we heard you like time traveling so we put some time traveling in your time traveling so you can time tr- /brick'd. ]

Do I really need to say how fucking stupid that sounds?

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[hurricanebomber]

A lot of the shit that goes on here is fucking stupid, but you'll get used to it.

[He has given this speech to so many people, he honestly doesn't care if you believe him. But he DOES figure you're more likely to believe him than most of the other people here, so he's going to try just to spare them the headaches.]

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[idkmybfftrash]

I doubt that.

[ Or, more so, he doesn't want to get used to it. Not a big fan of imprisonment, this one. ]

So have any of you actually looked for a way out or have you all just been sitting on your lame asses bitching about it?

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[hurricanebomber]

Fuck you. There isn't a way out. You get sent back when Wonderland doesn't want you anymore.

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[idkmybfftrash]

Why don't you try rolling over and dying a little harder. I'm not sure you've really captured the appropriate level of patheticness.