Dropping into character, I learn things from them.

A couple weeks back, I put on some headphones with a character playmix on it. It was Areli. I sank into her, skulking down the subway. People uneasily slinked out of my way.

I can get advice. it ranges from "life's short - pursue your sexual interests" to "you are a lightweight, Vase has a drinking ( Read more... )

 I am afraid of the actualized self; the intuition that says "you should do x now."

Answer that email.
       Go to sleep.

Perhaps because actualization is habit-forming;
     the less I deny her, the less she will be denied.

Can I bring her out with character-work?

1. "Joking" is the point where the difficult fact becomes integrated.

I'm getting back to posting more gender-related stuff here. I think that it helps me, and I know that other enjoy it.

A lot of this is naval-gazing, but, to me, it's important naval-gazing that, for me is better left said - especially better left said for anyone else who in a ( Read more... )

I've been finding that, occasionally and unexpectedly, a sense of gratification, harmony or rightness surrounds me. This feeling of being happily embodied is new, and it tells me that I'm doing the right thing - whether that's "the right thing" is whatever I'm doing in the moment, or transition in general (probably both). This occurs most ( Read more... )

My dreams remain more vivid, but now my gender is being integrated into them. I'm male just under half the time and transitioning about half. Occasionally though, I'm female - usually I'm still trans, but it's a detail - here there is no doubt that I am a lass and shall (generally) be received as such. I like that feeling a lot, and have been ( Read more... )

I'm trying to follow Tim's fine advice about coming out: try a bunch of different stuff, see what works for you, find parts of your identity, and then see what you think of queer "norms."

Translasses have the option of presenting as visibly queer lasses. The advantage of this is that onlookers will be more likely to confirm their identity, as they' ( Read more... )

Formative moments in my sociopolitical/epistemological paradigm:

"Grade Three"

The Rule:
"You must mark each-other's papers with a red pencil-crayon.
If you do not have a red pencil-crayon, borrow one from the child in front of you."

I remember noticing:
(a) the red pencil crayons were defective, as the lead often popped out the back when you pressed ( Read more... )

1. Out-Out Campus is doing super-cool Queer awareness week stuff. There is a drag show on the 16th. You have to go.
I mean that you actually have to. You don't have choice - we passed it at forum last week. There will be drag kings with fedoras, painted-on mustaches and tommy-guns arriving at your place of residence shortly. Sorry.

2. This gay ( Read more... )

I have discovered the thing that many societies do not want anyone to know:
yes you can do that thing that you've always wanted to do, and no-one is going to stop you.

Or at least the cost of being stopped (death?) multiplied by its likelyhood is less than the projected mean benefits (like, "not dying from something else"). Most people, especially ( Read more... )

Surprised, I pause to reflect on how this seemingly fluffy video in this post by Jhayne manages to hit home on a lot of my gender issues.
(And it reminds me why I shouldn't be allowed to watch TV)

Curious.... Curious....

1. Initially...
I notice my deep-seated dislike for how
- The real-life man is a dope who can (and should?) be outmanouvered by his ( Read more... )