Things are strange lately. I can feel myself growing distant, and I can feel that apathy beginning to kick in more than usual. I feel sort of defeated in many ways, and so afraid in others. I was honest, I made that last effort to make things better and right, but I don't think it really got us anywhere. Now I'm just waiting things out. Things will ( Read more... )

I don't know whether or no to believe some things anymore.

Like if people can ever really change.

Or if they really do not take you for granted.

Or if you really are so important to them that they will do everything in their power not to lose you.

Once again, I'm reminded (fucking harshly) just how much louder actions speak than words.

It aggravates me, and it just makes me want to yell and cry and hide. I am trying to make an effort to support him in this, to feel better about it, and then he says that what he wants is only for one person, that what he had in mind to do with it is only a one-seater and yeah, OK, it hurts me, irritates me, but whatever. It's better that he has ( Read more... )

I don't understand a lot of things right now. It's much easier just to hurt, and not talk about them. If something hurts and it makes me cry and no one ever notices, or we all pretend it's not happening then we can all just never talk about it and move on ( Read more... )

jon says:
god what a waste of your god damn time.  sorry to say it but you're a fucking idiot, d--y.

What a fucking asshole.
I have stood by him all along, even while he made some pretty fucking stupid decisions. I never judged him and I tried to help him as much as I could with all of them, and he goes and judges ME and tells me something like that? ( Read more... )

Today I was lost in Chicago. Whoever the fuck designed the blue line is an absolute idiot. They named TWO stops "Harlem" without distinguishing them from each other with words like "south" and "north" so, instead of finding myself at the HIP mall, my friend and I were walking around the very very south side of Chicago confused and looking the bus ( Read more... )