**the plot thickens....
talked to my father, chemotherapy isnt helping the tumours got bigger etc soooo hes starting new treatment on tuesday :( i wish icould actually do something to help but i know that theres nothing. am going to see him later which will be goddamn weird because ** they have a lodger staying in rachels room. juan found her, shes chinese, doing business studies (a little like me maybe??) and to top it off shes called JENNY. so not only do i have to move out because juan cant live with me and my dad wants peace, theyve moved a stranger in with my name. brr. i havent said any of the brattyness to my daddy, but i think its sad that juan can make the effort to get along with someone for money but not for love. but brushing that and my overdue work aside and moving on to vanity, i really need to get my hair cut!!! i havent had it cut in actual months and months and MONTHS cos i cant afford to. but i want to dye the underneath black with little streaks of pink and purple and blue and have that a littttle bit longer than the top which will be blondey. but im poor and cant really afford dye unless i begggg my daddy for money which will be minimal so i need to try to find tiny bottle of permenant dye....and i dont know if thats possible?i also need eyeliner,foundation,mascara, to pluck my eyebrows, and trainers! and winter clothes, in fact just new clothes cos i cant remember the last time i properly got new clothes. *sigh* and yes im perfectly aware im covering up my denial by focusing on the physical things which i might actually have some kind of control over. xoxoxoxoxoxoxox