"Don't let the bastards grind you down."
... "Don't let the bastards grind you down.", was a craved message that Offred found and held onto as something precious, in "The Handmadi's Tale", especially since reading is forbidden to her and other Handmaids.
The power of that message was diminished where, when Offred finally got the courage to ask The Officer she was sleeping with to translate it for her, he just translated it, pointing out that its grammar was wrong. Something which had meant so much to Offred, who had been dreading that The Officer could have been outraged about, meant absolutely nothing to him, just that, it's wrong.
It also doesn't help for Offred to discover that the previous Handmaid who have craved that message, hung herself from the light fixture, and that's why there is only a 'relief ornament in the shape of a wreath' on the ceiling now, leaving Offred with less self-determination than the Handmaid before her.
...but, don't let the bastards grind you down, don't let anyone's toxic or uncaring use of a message or an aspect that means something to you, to take it away from you.
Throughout history, women have been called a lot of very Bad Names, from Jezebels to Bitches, Unladylike, Unwomen. Now, there are things that Jezebel is attached to that is wrong, such as, slaughtering a bunch of prophets...but what's horrid is that women who have done much less, who have done no wrong, have been lumped with people who have, simply by reason of shared gender and because they have Stepped Out of Line.
Women are perceived so lowly, that when men insults other men, especially homosexual or bisexual men (or those who are perceived as such), they use female names like "Nancy" in front of '-boy', and derided as being 'the wife', delivered in a tone where we are expected to just, understand, that the man in question being 'the wife' makes him something less.
We must not let the argument of those who deride queer men as 'the wife' stand, one, 'so what?', and keep pressing (unless your person is endangered) if their only answer is more hahaha eyebrow wriggling crap. Being queer doesn't make you feminine or masculine, AND, neither feminine or masculine is a bad thing. As someone who recognize that gender is not as rigidly defined as some people might be Comfortable with, and that gender identity exist, in that some people will chose to identify themselves as masculine and/or feminine and how they are that way, I just wish that people won't be bastards and don't let the bastards grind them down.
Wearing a dress doesn't cancel out my vote, I chose to wear it because it's comfortable, and I like wearing dresses as well as pants. Not wearing make-up or shaving doesn't turn me into a man. Having a kink where I like to PLAY at being housewifey doesn't mean that I actually want to be a housewife (it's for those who prefer it, but not me), anymore than playing naughty nurse correlates to someone's desire to join the nursing profession. Nor does playing the secretary babe in Noir flicks mean someone actually behaves the same way during work hours...
Have fun, if it makes you happy, keep it, and don't let the bastards get you down. Don't let people gawking at any x part that isn't y or y part that isn't x take anything away from you. For a period in time I pretended to be a boy and Not A Girl, less because I wanted to, but because it seem it made things easier. Male classmates seem more comfortable around me when I don't Act Like A Girl, and I do this especially when I was in the chess club, which, way back, I was The Only Girl. ...pretending that I was a boy also made my attraction to other girls easier. ...and for my reasons for why I was the way I was then, I regret it. I love dressing up as the stereotypical girl sometimes, I love dressing up as the stereotypical boy some other time. I have floral skirts with floral jackets, as well as Serious Suits accented with a nice colourful tie.
ETA: ...also, A Long While Back, I remember reading a column, critical of a comment made by someone on the pro-same-sex marriage side, where the comment express the hope that the guys or dudes in dresses wouldn't ruin things for the rest of the gays.
...but when I try to find that comment (and therefore, find the column), the only hits I got were solely from the anti marriage side.
I just find it sad that there are people who thinks along the line of Real Women Don't Wear Dresses...in that they think that wearing a dress alone makes you feminine and/or weak...or that acting in any feminine way makes you weak.
Thank goodness for CLAMP and their mastery of aspects, that there is usually yin in yang and yang and yin, and neither are bad things and there are no neat boxes. I also love how they have Watanuki, who does domestic work for Yuuko, but still tried to tease Doumeki for having been dressed as a little girl as a child. There are so many differing opinions on what's masculine and what's feminine, and a thing or a profession can fall on different side depending on which aspect you look at. Doctors have traditionally been consider male, the role of the savior, but increasingly, female characters have been written as Doctors, the role of the healer.
Keep in mind also, that dressing in drag doesn't make someone a drag queen...sailors put on plays where they are in drag. Drag Queens are also not necessarily Trans, though some are crosses, some drag queens who eventually transist into transwomen, or they were there along, thinking and feeling like a woman to themselves, identifying as one. In comedy skits however, such as Kids In the Hall, there has long been a tradition of men in drag, it's part of the performance.
I remember in drama class, there was plenty of drag, though I wouldn't be able to separate which ones are drag and which ones are part of identity expression (but in the end, it's nobody's biz than the person involved). The boy I had a crush on was really good at playing certain female characters, that he was a boy playing a female character wasn't the joke itself, it's just part of the performance. Likewise, for my monologues, I chose Hamlet over Ophelia, and the character I have been able to identify with the most was Vassily Vasilyevich Solyony from Chekhov's Three Sisters.
Gods, I miss improv so much, and sketch too, and drama. I don't ever want to go into acting, I'm not good at it or comfortable, but fun, yes. It was a way for me to play out parts of my identity, the indecisiveness of Hamlet, and indulgent self-loathing of Solyony. I think, when Solyony was in the presence of Irina, he does feel like a bug, which, back then, I could identify with, because I was so deep in the closet that I couldn't even tell the girl I had a crush on that I like her that way, not because she would reject me, but I was worried that she'll be disgusted. I had a crush on a boy and a girl, and it's confusing because the way I've felt about both of them was different, and I remember wanting to send valentines to both of them, it's a secret after all, but in the end, I didn't dare to send anything to the girl, which in hindsight, was a good idea, because the jerk in student council had a big mouth.
The power of that message was diminished where, when Offred finally got the courage to ask The Officer she was sleeping with to translate it for her, he just translated it, pointing out that its grammar was wrong. Something which had meant so much to Offred, who had been dreading that The Officer could have been outraged about, meant absolutely nothing to him, just that, it's wrong.
It also doesn't help for Offred to discover that the previous Handmaid who have craved that message, hung herself from the light fixture, and that's why there is only a 'relief ornament in the shape of a wreath' on the ceiling now, leaving Offred with less self-determination than the Handmaid before her.
...but, don't let the bastards grind you down, don't let anyone's toxic or uncaring use of a message or an aspect that means something to you, to take it away from you.
Throughout history, women have been called a lot of very Bad Names, from Jezebels to Bitches, Unladylike, Unwomen. Now, there are things that Jezebel is attached to that is wrong, such as, slaughtering a bunch of prophets...but what's horrid is that women who have done much less, who have done no wrong, have been lumped with people who have, simply by reason of shared gender and because they have Stepped Out of Line.
Women are perceived so lowly, that when men insults other men, especially homosexual or bisexual men (or those who are perceived as such), they use female names like "Nancy" in front of '-boy', and derided as being 'the wife', delivered in a tone where we are expected to just, understand, that the man in question being 'the wife' makes him something less.
We must not let the argument of those who deride queer men as 'the wife' stand, one, 'so what?', and keep pressing (unless your person is endangered) if their only answer is more hahaha eyebrow wriggling crap. Being queer doesn't make you feminine or masculine, AND, neither feminine or masculine is a bad thing. As someone who recognize that gender is not as rigidly defined as some people might be Comfortable with, and that gender identity exist, in that some people will chose to identify themselves as masculine and/or feminine and how they are that way, I just wish that people won't be bastards and don't let the bastards grind them down.
Wearing a dress doesn't cancel out my vote, I chose to wear it because it's comfortable, and I like wearing dresses as well as pants. Not wearing make-up or shaving doesn't turn me into a man. Having a kink where I like to PLAY at being housewifey doesn't mean that I actually want to be a housewife (it's for those who prefer it, but not me), anymore than playing naughty nurse correlates to someone's desire to join the nursing profession. Nor does playing the secretary babe in Noir flicks mean someone actually behaves the same way during work hours...
Have fun, if it makes you happy, keep it, and don't let the bastards get you down. Don't let people gawking at any x part that isn't y or y part that isn't x take anything away from you. For a period in time I pretended to be a boy and Not A Girl, less because I wanted to, but because it seem it made things easier. Male classmates seem more comfortable around me when I don't Act Like A Girl, and I do this especially when I was in the chess club, which, way back, I was The Only Girl. ...pretending that I was a boy also made my attraction to other girls easier. ...and for my reasons for why I was the way I was then, I regret it. I love dressing up as the stereotypical girl sometimes, I love dressing up as the stereotypical boy some other time. I have floral skirts with floral jackets, as well as Serious Suits accented with a nice colourful tie.
ETA: ...also, A Long While Back, I remember reading a column, critical of a comment made by someone on the pro-same-sex marriage side, where the comment express the hope that the guys or dudes in dresses wouldn't ruin things for the rest of the gays.
...but when I try to find that comment (and therefore, find the column), the only hits I got were solely from the anti marriage side.
I just find it sad that there are people who thinks along the line of Real Women Don't Wear Dresses...in that they think that wearing a dress alone makes you feminine and/or weak...or that acting in any feminine way makes you weak.
Thank goodness for CLAMP and their mastery of aspects, that there is usually yin in yang and yang and yin, and neither are bad things and there are no neat boxes. I also love how they have Watanuki, who does domestic work for Yuuko, but still tried to tease Doumeki for having been dressed as a little girl as a child. There are so many differing opinions on what's masculine and what's feminine, and a thing or a profession can fall on different side depending on which aspect you look at. Doctors have traditionally been consider male, the role of the savior, but increasingly, female characters have been written as Doctors, the role of the healer.
Keep in mind also, that dressing in drag doesn't make someone a drag queen...sailors put on plays where they are in drag. Drag Queens are also not necessarily Trans, though some are crosses, some drag queens who eventually transist into transwomen, or they were there along, thinking and feeling like a woman to themselves, identifying as one. In comedy skits however, such as Kids In the Hall, there has long been a tradition of men in drag, it's part of the performance.
I remember in drama class, there was plenty of drag, though I wouldn't be able to separate which ones are drag and which ones are part of identity expression (but in the end, it's nobody's biz than the person involved). The boy I had a crush on was really good at playing certain female characters, that he was a boy playing a female character wasn't the joke itself, it's just part of the performance. Likewise, for my monologues, I chose Hamlet over Ophelia, and the character I have been able to identify with the most was Vassily Vasilyevich Solyony from Chekhov's Three Sisters.
Gods, I miss improv so much, and sketch too, and drama. I don't ever want to go into acting, I'm not good at it or comfortable, but fun, yes. It was a way for me to play out parts of my identity, the indecisiveness of Hamlet, and indulgent self-loathing of Solyony. I think, when Solyony was in the presence of Irina, he does feel like a bug, which, back then, I could identify with, because I was so deep in the closet that I couldn't even tell the girl I had a crush on that I like her that way, not because she would reject me, but I was worried that she'll be disgusted. I had a crush on a boy and a girl, and it's confusing because the way I've felt about both of them was different, and I remember wanting to send valentines to both of them, it's a secret after all, but in the end, I didn't dare to send anything to the girl, which in hindsight, was a good idea, because the jerk in student council had a big mouth.