(Two posts in one day. There must be something wrong with me.)

This probably already exists somewhere on the internet, but whatever.

While watching the pilot episode of The X Files, my mother (who has been claiming to hate the programme because it's "icky", yet she keeps asking if we can watch more) and I decided that this programme would lend itself ( Read more... )

My mother never realised that "dancing" in Doctor Who is a euphemism for sex.

I just had to go through and explain it, quote by quote (Rach's mum: What?! OH. But how did the BBC get away with that at 7pm?! What if the kiddies notice?! Rach: ...You didn't notice).

And then we had to watch The Empty Child so I could prove it to her, and she almost died ( Read more... )

…is completely and utterly drunk.

I just had to stop her from removing her eye make-up with nail varnish remover. She swears she’s "soberly perfect", but I don’t believe her.

It’s 2am, and she’s downstairs munching cornflakes with salt and trying to buy fish tanks off QVC (we have no fish), repeatedly calling up the stairs with random outbursts such ( Read more... )