im just so, tired of waking up on the ground...
i want to say i dont know why but i know... i want to say its just a random thing that happens.
i am often in denial.
i was invited to go out today with a coworker and some others my age. we were going to a local burlesque show. i was super excited but somehow i knew that i wouldnt actually go. ill full of lies but mostly because i lie to myself.
instead i sit here crying.
maybe its because i have nothing to eat and everyone is aware of my moods when i need food. maybe its because i havent slept in how many days because i cant. i know i need to sleep...i just cant.
im scared.
i just need a hug from someone who cares. but it cant be someone who claims to care. i actually have to feel it. i have to know they dont just want in my pants or they dont love me out of obligation...
not even alcohol will make me feel better.
i am often in denial.
i was invited to go out today with a coworker and some others my age. we were going to a local burlesque show. i was super excited but somehow i knew that i wouldnt actually go. ill full of lies but mostly because i lie to myself.
instead i sit here crying.
maybe its because i have nothing to eat and everyone is aware of my moods when i need food. maybe its because i havent slept in how many days because i cant. i know i need to sleep...i just cant.
im scared.
i just need a hug from someone who cares. but it cant be someone who claims to care. i actually have to feel it. i have to know they dont just want in my pants or they dont love me out of obligation...
not even alcohol will make me feel better.