I'm sitting in the library trying to write and all I end up doing is shaking. I can't focus. I can't think. I finally have a time to write and nothing.

I'm so mad at myself right now.

I'm sitting here writing things. Writing things and thinking and I'm wondering how many times I've edited myself and changed myself and told my old self to die away as I look at life through different sets of eyes. With different ideas and different mindsets and different inhibitions. What could of been and what never will be because of my own self ( Read more... )

getting a story down is rough. i need to attack it one sentence at a time and stop worrying about the overall pace!

but i have a sort of first draft. thank goodness.

now lets just hope i pass this class. goodness knows what he expects.

edit: i say goodness wwaaay to much.

anyway ill be on here later with an update!!

So I'm here now trying to get words out of my brain so that I can get to my writing assignment. I have no characters, no story, no nothing. I neeeeeed frame of reference but all of life seems to stress me out as of late.

hmm... I'm going to listen to some music and see what happens. I'll report back later, internet!

Well this blog is still here! After all of this time of neglect. What a loyal schmuck! It has been a while. And I've been distracted. But new classes are here. More creative endeavors, requiring no more book reading, but instead doing. Experimenting and writing and writing and writing ( Read more... )

tonight i feel better. well, i feel nothing, a soft fog? around my body that hovers slowly making its wake over my arms and legs. My heart beating. beating ( Read more... )

I sit and look at the letters on my keyboard and no words come to mind. No thoughts are formed. I am filled with a somber retrospect of a past I remember in pieces. And it's faded and fading no matter how fast I write it down or capture it to photographs. I can look at myself yesterday, or even farther still, years ago. And I am overwhelmed with a ( Read more... )

That's right! I've finally come across the funding (thank you aging process!) and have ordered some green screen. Which I plan to use for unlimited possibilities. Now on the agenda for the rest of the night is 1) looking for good chroma key software. I know there has to be at least one good FREE one for PC (if not perhaps more shady methods will ( Read more... )

So I recently had the Big Ne.ws site remade with Word Press and I really like it's look. But I really can't myself to write anything for it. I think in more ways than one I'm setting rules in place I don't need. For one I'm really the only person that goes on it. Also I can't just think sitting myself in front of a computer will give me the ( Read more... )

It appears I am on the run with the occasional glance back. Starring into nothing and no one. Only remembering the dead and gone. The past and even later still - the ancient. I can only look at what I was and what I wanted to be in this retrospective vortex. My memory. My... recollection. I can no longer see myself as alive anymore than I see ( Read more... )