Yay, more drama.

[fuchsiascreams]

Holy fuck, I'm so drained trying to deal with my family's bullshit. I don't really want to get dragged into this, but they're forcing me to. My mom kicked Michael out a couple of weeks ago and he thought it would be all gravy, that one of my parents would feel bad for him and let him come back, or at the very least one of his friends would take him in cause he's the famous Mike Haze, and why wouldn't someone want to take Mike Haze in? Well, neither of my parents are letting him in. And none of his friends will take him, either. So he's effectively been sleeping in various friends' backyards for the past few weeks. I felt bad for him so I gave him money to buy food and a bus pass so that he can continue going to school, looking for a job and visiting him girlfriend in Aylmer, but I really think he needs this. When my dad kicked me out and no one would take me in, spending that time in the shelter was a huge, huge learning experience for me. I don't know if I'd have matured as much as I have if that had never happened to me. So he's been sleeping outside and going to school and (he says) looking for a job, but how can you be looking for a job when it takes you an hour to bus to Aylmer every night and an hour to bus back? And he spends all day there when he isn't in school - when he even goes to school. In fact, he isn't even allowed on the premises of the school now. Today he got banned from it because when one of the truant officers asked him why he wasn't in class while he was walking up the hallway, he started screaming at him and threw a cup of water at him. Which is just like.. I mean, to me, this is just such a clear indication of what I've been telling my parents for years: that he has some very serious anger problems from some things that happened in our childhood. But they've never believed me or, at the very least, never listened to me. Part of the obstacle was because I was the "problem kid", because my issues were more obvious than his; when they looked at his behavior, they essentially shrugged their shoulders and proclaimed that "boys will be boys". But even then I could tell that his behavior was not at ALL typical of other boys his age. I think they were partially in denial and a) partially unwilling to admit that this was in any part their fault, and b) too fucking lazy to put in the effort that it would take to get him help. And I think they also wanted to believe that I was the problem kid in the family and that all of our family's debilitation rested on my shoulders, instead of seeing that Michael had problems too and thus had to admit that it was not a coincidence that both of their children were dysfunctional, and that maybe they had a part to play in this too. So I called my mom just now to tell her what happened with Michael and the truant officer and I swear to God that this is the first time in over a decade that she has actually listened to what I had to say. I basically told her, mom, he really needs you to do two things for him. The first is to not take him back right now under any circumstances, because doing that will cripple him. The second thing is that he needs you to get him some therapy and help him connect with some resources as YSB (Youth Services Bureau). He can't begin looking for a job or going to school or getting on the right track when he has nowhere to live and no stability in his life. YSB can offer him programs, therapy, perhaps help him find a place to live, and they offer job counseling as well. So this is a very good resource for Michael to tap. The problem is, of course, that we can fucking bend over backwards trying to get him these opportunities, but that doesn't mean he's going to take them. Ultimately, it's his choice, but I hope he makes the right one, because I'm tired of coddling him like a baby and having to interrupt my own recover to deal with his drama and immaturity. And I'm tired of getting dragged into it. I already learned these lessons through my own downfalls and hard work and I have no desire to carry him through this process. Not even carry him - push him, because I really don't think he is ready for this. He is not at the same point in maturity that I am and I don't think he's ready to go through this process. But either way, I hope he sets his pride and ego aside and takes the help.

More annoying things: spent a fucking hour this morning trying to fish Christian's cell from underneath his porch, and then came home and had to use a coat hanger to unlock the car door because my dad locked the fucking keys in it.

On the plus side.. Kristen and I are going to get the rat today and I'm really excited. The art class yesterday was fun and hilarious and I'll probably write about it later when I'm not too lazy. My aunt/cousin/I don't even know what she is to me is throwing a party on the 17th and I'm excited to go because I only see my family once a year due to the fact that my mom doesn't get along with them. And then my mom is having a Thanksgiving party on Sunday, which.. I don't know, I have to go without Michael, and I don't really know my mom's family, so I'm sure it will be ultra fucking awkward. And I've been talking to Brandon's mom and I think I'm gonna go down and visit him, maybe for a weekend or something. I really want to. All I have to do is get my passport pictures taken and send in the form and I can do it in one paycheck.

I guess that's pretty much it. When did my life get so dramatic? It's supposed to be boring and uneventful.