so dark...
It's not eye bleeding bad, but still pretty sucktacular. I'm a bit rusty at sporking but how I've missed it so.
Title: The Story of Elisa Rockbell Elric
Author: Aeris22
Full Name: Elisa Rockbell Elric a.k.a The Metal Rose Alchemist (how original)
Full Species: Suicus Elricus Spawnius
Hair Color: Winry says she looks like her father so I'm guessing blonde
Eye Color: Same as her father's?
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Has a rose tattoo birthmark that is as silver as the moon apparently
Special Possessions: She comes with alchemy...really
Which Gate it Came From: The Gate of Babies Made From Alchemy and Hugs, The Gate of the Gate's been replaced by FedEx
Connections to Canon Characters: She's the daughter of Winry and Ed.
Special Abilities: Mustang ehances her alchemic abilities so she can do alchemy in the other world
Other Annoying Traits: She's got no personality to speak of, but I suppose that's because the author has decided to forgo things like personality and background info in order to move the story along to the exciting stuff. On a related note, there is no exciting stuff.
Some of the worst of this story:
A whole chunk of this story from the beginning up until the break between "Good day Winry" and 'Time has passed' is italicized but I have decided to spare you all.
It's been two years since that day, I'll never forget the pain and suffering I caused. [Luckily, I will...eventually as this fic strikes me as utterly forgettable.] Brother told me it wasn't my fault, but I know better.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
" Hey Al, how's it going?"
A sheepish look on his face. [A sheepish look on whose face?]
" I still can't figure it out, if we could use alchemy, it would be a lot easier."
" I know, but even if we could, no one could ever see us use it."
"I know. I wonder how Winry's doing."
[Sheesh, dialogue tags, ever hear hear of them? And there's the bonus of flat dialogue. Nifty.]
Ed smiled at his brother.
" She's probably fine."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Little did he know what had happened that day between himself and Winry.
A month after that day she found out she was pregnant, and the tests showed it was Edward Elric's child.
" But that can't be right, we never got close enough until it was too late."
Who should walk in the room, but Roy Mustang. [Okay, now I'm confuzzled over this. Where is Winry while this happening for Mustang to just pop up out of no where. Sticking him in the fic randomly just so he can explain your absurd plot point isn't okay. If he's got the answers, why not have Winry seek him out or attempt to figure what is going on for herself? But that would involve character development and plotting and pacing and that's just too much work, I guess.]
" You carry his child because of alchemy." [Say what karaoke?]
Her face showed confusion. [Mine too, I'm afraid]
" What do you mean?"
" Did you do anything when you saw him?"
" I hugged him tightly." [Hugs and alchemy now take the place of good old fashioned baby making sex it seems]
" I see [I don't], his body used alchemy to give you hope, a child of love and alchemy. He's even better then than before."
" But why?"
Roy turned from her and started to leave, but stopped for a moment.
" Because he loved you, and this was his way of leaving you something of him. Treasure this child, for it will be the greatest gift you'll ever receive."
[Well, gee, thanks Ed. An unplanned pregnancy, how sweet of you. He couldn't have just left her, like a lock of hair or vial of blood, you know, something romantic.]
And he left on those words. He just rode on them like a magic carpet, right out the door.
" I will treasure it."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The next eight months were full of pain, but her friends, and Ed's and Al's were there for her.
And at the end of her journey, a baby girl was her gift.
"What's her name, Winry?"
Rose was glad for her, and so were the others who knew the brothers.
" Elisa Rockbell Elric."
She held her baby close, she looked just like her father. And she would do great things.
" She's beautiful."
Winry looked and Mustang walked over and gave her a box. [Mustang walked over from where?? Must you always have characters just show up randomly? Good lord. It feels like this fic is taking place one giant room where all the characters are lined up and ready to go whenever the author needs them.]
" A gift for the baby. And she's been given a title, The Metal Rose Alchemist. The head of central wanted her to have a title, and when she's of age, about when Ed joined, she'll be a state alchemist. She won't have to be tested, we figure she'll be as great as her father."
[So they're just going to assume she's going to be as talented as her father in alchemy and that she wants to be in the military? What if she's not even interested in alchemy? What if she wants to be a mechanic like her mom? What if she's just completely lacking in any and all skills, which I'm guessing she is though I'm sure she'll make up for it with adorableness. Also--The Metal Rose Alchemist--ick.]
" Have you found a way to get them home?"
" Not yet, it seems we may never bring them here."
" Can you send something to them?"
He smiled.
" That may be possible, what did you have in mind?"
" A note, some auto mail schematics, and our daughter."
" What? Why, items are possible, but a child, the child of Full Metal?"
" I love her with all my heart, but I want Ed to see her. I want him to feel the joy I do now. I want him to know what it's like to be gifted with the miracle of life without any sex involved whatsoever and completely unexpectedly too."
" When did you want to send her? If you want her to make it by the holidays, then you better send her two to three weeks early."
" When two years have passed since that day." [What day?! They keep referring to 'that day'--is that supposed to mean something to us?]
" Very well Winry, when the time comes, I'll have Major Hawkeye escort you to cCentral."
" Thank you Mustang. I hope you one day can feel the joy I do. The joy of throwing your unwanted spawn into the Gate and leaving it to its fate."
" Good day Winry."
All the spaces between the quotation mark and the dialogue is all the author's wonky formatting.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Time had passed and the day finally came. [Don't you mean that day.]
" Miss Winry, it's nice to see you, and this must be Elisa. She look's like Ed, but softer squishier. Your ride awaits."
" Thank you. Soon my angel, you'll see your dad and uncle, and they'll love you like I do. They'll love you so much, that they'll also send you to a world they know little about in hopes that you'll get there completely unharmed, when they grow tired of you as I have."
Snipped! Winry being led to a room by Mustang where you can apparently send care packages and children to other worlds/universes/dimensions/etc.
Mustang held the baby, and started to glow. Winry remembered the color of the glow, Ed had that Aura when he used alchemy.
" What are you doing to her?!"
Hawkeye held her back.
" Please stop! She's just in infant! Let her go!" Hey, you wanted this.
"I'm enhancing her alchemic abilities, we think if we can enhance her alchemy, maybe she can still use it in the other world.
unnecessary space
Maybe even help Edward and Alphonse use alchemy."
He handed back the baby.
" You have one minute."
" Elisa, don't forget me honey. Mommy loves you very much, which is why I'm getting rid of you, don't let the Gate rip your limbs off on the way out and I hope you're daddy will love you too."
" It's time."
Winry held her daughter once more.
" I love you Elisa."
She gave her to Mustang.
" Elisa, you are the hope of this world and the hope of your Father [who doesn't even know you exist], may god bless you and protect you."
He sent her through the portal with her note and schematics.
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Meanwhile on the other side of the gate .
" We need a miracle to get home."
A window suddenly opened. [Lo and behold, a miracle!]
" Brother the window."
Ed got up and stuck his head out the window.
" What the-"
Out of nowhere, a baby hit him and sent him sailing into the wall.
" Dammit. Even little kids hurt me." [I'm just going to go ahead and assume that the baby now has brain damage as there's no mention of Ed actually catching the child, while it came towards him like a rocket]
Al picked up the baby and noticed a note and skematics.
"Brother look, a note."
Ed got off the floor and walked over.
" It's Winry's handwriting. But how?"
"Let me read it."
" Dear Ed and Al.
Her name is Elisa Rockbell Elric.
I didn't believe it either, but the blood test
shows you as her father.
Mustang said it was alchemy that made her possible.
She even has a state title, The Metal Rose Alchemist.
Love her as I did, and cherish her.
I love you Edward, please remember this.
Al, keep taking care of him.
I hope the schematics help.
Winry."
Technically, Winry doesn't say which one of them is the father and she addresses the note to both of them. Perhaps, deep down, she doesn't really know which one is the father, because she did a lot of hugging in her day. The tramp.
" She looks like you brother. So I guess it's yours then. I sure as hell don't want it."
Ed gazed at her.
" You're right Al, she does look like me. But why send her here?" [Time to pay up on all that child support you owe, yo.]
Al put her on the floor, and the little girl clapped her hands together and put them against the floor. [How old is this child supposed to be anyway? Winry called her an infant? Did she age while sailing through ye old Gate?]
A blue aura surrounded her.
" Brother look."
Ed's jaw dropped.
" She can use Alchemy??????" !!!!!!!!!
" What's she making?"
The little girl transmuted a Rose made of wood.
" Incredible, look at the detail."
Alphonse looked at his brother and smiled.
" Brother, if she can use alchemy, what about us?"
" Yeah, your right. Let me try."
He did as his child did, and created a figurine of wood, it looked just like Winry. But I thought she transmuted a wooden Rose? Unless the author meant a rose.
" Brother! We can use alchemy again!"
" But how?"
They both looked at the little girl on the floor, and it hit slapped them both so super hard.
" Elisa. But how? How is she different from us?"
Ed closed his eyes and stood still.
" Brother?"
" Someone has enhanced her body and soul, Mustang must've done it. It takes a powerful alchemist to do something like this."
" But why Brother? Even with alchemy, we can't be seen using it. After seeing what happened that day, I feel no one should know we can use alchemy. It might lead to another war against home."
"I know Al."
Ed looked at the little girl sitting happily on floor.
Snip! Ed rambling on about his spawn
He looked at her back, and found a mark. It was a rose, as silver as the moon.
" A rose. It's a birthmark, a biological sign of her name. The Metal Rose Alchemist.
[Wow,creative. *retches*]
She wiggled her way back to the floor, and went to a window and looked at the sky.
" Brother, can we really care for her?"
" We can, and we will. At least until we get tired of her. Then we'll ship her back at home since our local FedEx obviously delivers through the Gate now."
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It's been 3 and a half years since she came to them. A horrible thing was to happen today, and no one could stop it. [Oh noooes!]
It was a nice sunny day in may. The flowers were blooming, and Elisa was so happy.
But something was troubling Ed.
" Al, where's Elisa?"
"Oh, I sent her across the street to get a piece I need." [A piece of what? Another piece of crap plot device? I just love how the author throws random crap in so she can get right to the good stuff--good stuff being more crap, that is.]
" Okay, I'll be out front, hollar if you need me."
" Right brother."
He opened the door and saw his little angel getting ready to walk back over.
" Hi Daddy."
" Hey honey."
As she walked over, Ed heard something he hoped he was wrong about. But his eyes couldn't decive him.
Someone had lost cotrol of their car, and it was heading straight for Elisa.
He only had a moment to act, and he dashed for her and pushed her out of the way.
The car hit him full force, crushing his entire body. [Well, damn, how fast was this car going?]
" Daddy!"
Al heard his niece's voice, and there was fear in it. He raced outside to see what was wrong. Elisa was pulling at something on the street.
" Elisa, get away-"
He couldn't finish his sentence, he saw what she saw.
" Brother! Don't leave us please. You left me alone for two years, please not again!"
" Daddy, get up! Please get up!"
Ed opened his eyes very slowly.
" Elisa, your okay. Thank god."
" Brother, what happened?!"
" A car.....someone lost control.......had to save Elisa."
And cue touching death scene...
Ed felt darkness clawing at him, and a voice he'd never forget.
" Edward dear, it's time to go home."
He gazed at his brother and daughter once more.
" I love you....goodbye...."
He closed his eyes, and left forever.
" Brother! No! Don't leave! Let me go instead!"
" Daddy! Wake up! Wake up!"
Al grabbed Elisa and hugged her tight.
"Shhhhh."
She fought his grip.
"Uncle Alphonse Let go! Daddy needs help!"
" I'm sorry honey, it's too late."
Her eyes filled with tears, and she began to cry.
Al did what he could,and held her tight.
She fell asleep in his arms crying. Are they still out on the street? We get one out of control speeding vehicle of death and then not one other car for however long this is taking place?
He felt like crying too, but he had to be strong for his niece.
Al carried her inside and to her room.
" Elisa, I hope you can forgive me for forgetting that you ever existed now that brother's gone. Peace out."
He tucked her in and went back outside.
Al wouldn't leave Ed's body out on the street. The meat's still fresh
He grabbed his body, and went into the backyard.
" Brother, we'll miss you greatly."
He put Ed's body down and transmuted a grave. And then sealed his body with alchemy.
" This way Brother, you'll always be the same, no matter how much time passes." Honestly, that kinda squicks me out a little that he buried Ed's body exactly as it was, still all nice and juicy inside. Is it Al just being sentimental or do I smell another badly constructed daughter follows in father's footsteps plot?
He lowered Ed's body and transmuted the grave. And then sealed it. And then danced on it for he was now free from this fic, his only connection now gone.
" Good bye Brother, tell mom I said hi."
To be continued........ Please, no.
One spork for complete lack of detail, character development, etc.. One spork for all the comma splices and lack of dialogue tags. One spork for the stupid. And one spork for Roy just randomly popping up whenever and wherever so he can spout of some "important information' in the form of boring dialogue. 4 sporks total.
Title: The Story of Elisa Rockbell Elric
Author: Aeris22
Full Name: Elisa Rockbell Elric a.k.a The Metal Rose Alchemist (how original)
Full Species: Suicus Elricus Spawnius
Hair Color: Winry says she looks like her father so I'm guessing blonde
Eye Color: Same as her father's?
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Has a rose tattoo birthmark that is as silver as the moon apparently
Special Possessions: She comes with alchemy...really
Which Gate it Came From: The Gate of Babies Made From Alchemy and Hugs, The Gate of the Gate's been replaced by FedEx
Connections to Canon Characters: She's the daughter of Winry and Ed.
Special Abilities: Mustang ehances her alchemic abilities so she can do alchemy in the other world
Other Annoying Traits: She's got no personality to speak of, but I suppose that's because the author has decided to forgo things like personality and background info in order to move the story along to the exciting stuff. On a related note, there is no exciting stuff.
Some of the worst of this story:
A whole chunk of this story from the beginning up until the break between "Good day Winry" and 'Time has passed' is italicized but I have decided to spare you all.
It's been two years since that day, I'll never forget the pain and suffering I caused. [Luckily, I will...eventually as this fic strikes me as utterly forgettable.] Brother told me it wasn't my fault, but I know better.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
" Hey Al, how's it going?"
A sheepish look on his face. [A sheepish look on whose face?]
" I still can't figure it out, if we could use alchemy, it would be a lot easier."
" I know, but even if we could, no one could ever see us use it."
"I know. I wonder how Winry's doing."
[Sheesh, dialogue tags, ever hear hear of them? And there's the bonus of flat dialogue. Nifty.]
Ed smiled at his brother.
" She's probably fine."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Little did he know what had happened that day between himself and Winry.
A month after that day she found out she was pregnant, and the tests showed it was Edward Elric's child.
" But that can't be right, we never got close enough until it was too late."
Who should walk in the room, but Roy Mustang. [Okay, now I'm confuzzled over this. Where is Winry while this happening for Mustang to just pop up out of no where. Sticking him in the fic randomly just so he can explain your absurd plot point isn't okay. If he's got the answers, why not have Winry seek him out or attempt to figure what is going on for herself? But that would involve character development and plotting and pacing and that's just too much work, I guess.]
" You carry his child because of alchemy." [Say what karaoke?]
Her face showed confusion. [Mine too, I'm afraid]
" What do you mean?"
" Did you do anything when you saw him?"
" I hugged him tightly." [Hugs and alchemy now take the place of good old fashioned baby making sex it seems]
" I see [I don't], his body used alchemy to give you hope, a child of love and alchemy. He's even better then than before."
" But why?"
Roy turned from her and started to leave, but stopped for a moment.
" Because he loved you, and this was his way of leaving you something of him. Treasure this child, for it will be the greatest gift you'll ever receive."
[Well, gee, thanks Ed. An unplanned pregnancy, how sweet of you. He couldn't have just left her, like a lock of hair or vial of blood, you know, something romantic.]
And he left on those words. He just rode on them like a magic carpet, right out the door.
" I will treasure it."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The next eight months were full of pain, but her friends, and Ed's and Al's were there for her.
And at the end of her journey, a baby girl was her gift.
"What's her name, Winry?"
Rose was glad for her, and so were the others who knew the brothers.
" Elisa Rockbell Elric."
She held her baby close, she looked just like her father. And she would do great things.
" She's beautiful."
Winry looked and Mustang walked over and gave her a box. [Mustang walked over from where?? Must you always have characters just show up randomly? Good lord. It feels like this fic is taking place one giant room where all the characters are lined up and ready to go whenever the author needs them.]
" A gift for the baby. And she's been given a title, The Metal Rose Alchemist. The head of central wanted her to have a title, and when she's of age, about when Ed joined, she'll be a state alchemist. She won't have to be tested, we figure she'll be as great as her father."
[So they're just going to assume she's going to be as talented as her father in alchemy and that she wants to be in the military? What if she's not even interested in alchemy? What if she wants to be a mechanic like her mom? What if she's just completely lacking in any and all skills, which I'm guessing she is though I'm sure she'll make up for it with adorableness. Also--The Metal Rose Alchemist--ick.]
" Have you found a way to get them home?"
" Not yet, it seems we may never bring them here."
" Can you send something to them?"
He smiled.
" That may be possible, what did you have in mind?"
" A note, some auto mail schematics, and our daughter."
" What? Why, items are possible, but a child, the child of Full Metal?"
" I love her with all my heart, but I want Ed to see her. I want him to feel the joy I do now. I want him to know what it's like to be gifted with the miracle of life without any sex involved whatsoever and completely unexpectedly too."
" When did you want to send her? If you want her to make it by the holidays, then you better send her two to three weeks early."
" When two years have passed since that day." [What day?! They keep referring to 'that day'--is that supposed to mean something to us?]
" Very well Winry, when the time comes, I'll have Major Hawkeye escort you to cCentral."
" Thank you Mustang. I hope you one day can feel the joy I do. The joy of throwing your unwanted spawn into the Gate and leaving it to its fate."
" Good day Winry."
All the spaces between the quotation mark and the dialogue is all the author's wonky formatting.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Time had passed and the day finally came. [Don't you mean that day.]
" Miss Winry, it's nice to see you, and this must be Elisa. She look's like Ed, but softer squishier. Your ride awaits."
" Thank you. Soon my angel, you'll see your dad and uncle, and they'll love you like I do. They'll love you so much, that they'll also send you to a world they know little about in hopes that you'll get there completely unharmed, when they grow tired of you as I have."
Snipped! Winry being led to a room by Mustang where you can apparently send care packages and children to other worlds/universes/dimensions/etc.
Mustang held the baby, and started to glow. Winry remembered the color of the glow, Ed had that Aura when he used alchemy.
" What are you doing to her?!"
Hawkeye held her back.
" Please stop! She's just in infant! Let her go!" Hey, you wanted this.
"I'm enhancing her alchemic abilities, we think if we can enhance her alchemy, maybe she can still use it in the other world.
unnecessary space
Maybe even help Edward and Alphonse use alchemy."
He handed back the baby.
" You have one minute."
" Elisa, don't forget me honey. Mommy loves you very much, which is why I'm getting rid of you, don't let the Gate rip your limbs off on the way out and I hope you're daddy will love you too."
" It's time."
Winry held her daughter once more.
" I love you Elisa."
She gave her to Mustang.
" Elisa, you are the hope of this world and the hope of your Father [who doesn't even know you exist], may god bless you and protect you."
He sent her through the portal with her note and schematics.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile on the other side of the gate .
" We need a miracle to get home."
A window suddenly opened. [Lo and behold, a miracle!]
" Brother the window."
Ed got up and stuck his head out the window.
" What the-"
Out of nowhere, a baby hit him and sent him sailing into the wall.
" Dammit. Even little kids hurt me." [I'm just going to go ahead and assume that the baby now has brain damage as there's no mention of Ed actually catching the child, while it came towards him like a rocket]
Al picked up the baby and noticed a note and skematics.
"Brother look, a note."
Ed got off the floor and walked over.
" It's Winry's handwriting. But how?"
"Let me read it."
" Dear Ed and Al.
Her name is Elisa Rockbell Elric.
I didn't believe it either, but the blood test
shows you as her father.
Mustang said it was alchemy that made her possible.
She even has a state title, The Metal Rose Alchemist.
Love her as I did, and cherish her.
I love you Edward, please remember this.
Al, keep taking care of him.
I hope the schematics help.
Winry."
Technically, Winry doesn't say which one of them is the father and she addresses the note to both of them. Perhaps, deep down, she doesn't really know which one is the father, because she did a lot of hugging in her day. The tramp.
" She looks like you brother. So I guess it's yours then. I sure as hell don't want it."
Ed gazed at her.
" You're right Al, she does look like me. But why send her here?" [Time to pay up on all that child support you owe, yo.]
Al put her on the floor, and the little girl clapped her hands together and put them against the floor. [How old is this child supposed to be anyway? Winry called her an infant? Did she age while sailing through ye old Gate?]
A blue aura surrounded her.
" Brother look."
Ed's jaw dropped.
" She can use Alchemy??????" !!!!!!!!!
" What's she making?"
The little girl transmuted a Rose made of wood.
" Incredible, look at the detail."
Alphonse looked at his brother and smiled.
" Brother, if she can use alchemy, what about us?"
" Yeah, your right. Let me try."
He did as his child did, and created a figurine of wood, it looked just like Winry. But I thought she transmuted a wooden Rose? Unless the author meant a rose.
" Brother! We can use alchemy again!"
" But how?"
They both looked at the little girl on the floor, and it hit slapped them both so super hard.
" Elisa. But how? How is she different from us?"
Ed closed his eyes and stood still.
" Brother?"
" Someone has enhanced her body and soul, Mustang must've done it. It takes a powerful alchemist to do something like this."
" But why Brother? Even with alchemy, we can't be seen using it. After seeing what happened that day, I feel no one should know we can use alchemy. It might lead to another war against home."
"I know Al."
Ed looked at the little girl sitting happily on floor.
Snip! Ed rambling on about his spawn
He looked at her back, and found a mark. It was a rose, as silver as the moon.
" A rose. It's a birthmark, a biological sign of her name. The Metal Rose Alchemist.
[Wow,creative. *retches*]
She wiggled her way back to the floor, and went to a window and looked at the sky.
" Brother, can we really care for her?"
" We can, and we will. At least until we get tired of her. Then we'll ship her back at home since our local FedEx obviously delivers through the Gate now."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's been 3 and a half years since she came to them. A horrible thing was to happen today, and no one could stop it. [Oh noooes!]
It was a nice sunny day in may. The flowers were blooming, and Elisa was so happy.
But something was troubling Ed.
" Al, where's Elisa?"
"Oh, I sent her across the street to get a piece I need." [A piece of what? Another piece of crap plot device? I just love how the author throws random crap in so she can get right to the good stuff--good stuff being more crap, that is.]
" Okay, I'll be out front, hollar if you need me."
" Right brother."
He opened the door and saw his little angel getting ready to walk back over.
" Hi Daddy."
" Hey honey."
As she walked over, Ed heard something he hoped he was wrong about. But his eyes couldn't decive him.
Someone had lost cotrol of their car, and it was heading straight for Elisa.
He only had a moment to act, and he dashed for her and pushed her out of the way.
The car hit him full force, crushing his entire body. [Well, damn, how fast was this car going?]
" Daddy!"
Al heard his niece's voice, and there was fear in it. He raced outside to see what was wrong. Elisa was pulling at something on the street.
" Elisa, get away-"
He couldn't finish his sentence, he saw what she saw.
" Brother! Don't leave us please. You left me alone for two years, please not again!"
" Daddy, get up! Please get up!"
Ed opened his eyes very slowly.
" Elisa, your okay. Thank god."
" Brother, what happened?!"
" A car.....someone lost control.......had to save Elisa."
And cue touching death scene...
Ed felt darkness clawing at him, and a voice he'd never forget.
" Edward dear, it's time to go home."
He gazed at his brother and daughter once more.
" I love you....goodbye...."
He closed his eyes, and left forever.
" Brother! No! Don't leave! Let me go instead!"
" Daddy! Wake up! Wake up!"
Al grabbed Elisa and hugged her tight.
"Shhhhh."
She fought his grip.
"Uncle Alphonse Let go! Daddy needs help!"
" I'm sorry honey, it's too late."
Her eyes filled with tears, and she began to cry.
Al did what he could,and held her tight.
She fell asleep in his arms crying. Are they still out on the street? We get one out of control speeding vehicle of death and then not one other car for however long this is taking place?
He felt like crying too, but he had to be strong for his niece.
Al carried her inside and to her room.
" Elisa, I hope you can forgive me for forgetting that you ever existed now that brother's gone. Peace out."
He tucked her in and went back outside.
Al wouldn't leave Ed's body out on the street. The meat's still fresh
He grabbed his body, and went into the backyard.
" Brother, we'll miss you greatly."
He put Ed's body down and transmuted a grave. And then sealed his body with alchemy.
" This way Brother, you'll always be the same, no matter how much time passes." Honestly, that kinda squicks me out a little that he buried Ed's body exactly as it was, still all nice and juicy inside. Is it Al just being sentimental or do I smell another badly constructed daughter follows in father's footsteps plot?
He lowered Ed's body and transmuted the grave. And then sealed it. And then danced on it for he was now free from this fic, his only connection now gone.
" Good bye Brother, tell mom I said hi."
To be continued........ Please, no.
One spork for complete lack of detail, character development, etc.. One spork for all the comma splices and lack of dialogue tags. One spork for the stupid. And one spork for Roy just randomly popping up whenever and wherever so he can spout of some "important information' in the form of boring dialogue. 4 sporks total.