so dark...

[fai_believes]

It's not eye bleeding bad, but still pretty sucktacular. I'm a bit rusty at sporking but how I've missed it so.
Title: The Story of Elisa Rockbell Elric
Author: Aeris22
Full Name: Elisa Rockbell Elric a.k.a The Metal Rose Alchemist (how original)
Full Species: Suicus Elricus Spawnius
Hair Color: Winry says she looks like her father so I'm

Comments

[saphira112]

*headdesk*

One spork for the god awful name (isn't Hughes' girl named Elysia?) and title, one for the random characters always randomly popping up like they're all lined up in that gigantic white room, one for lack of an actual plot, one for information that makes no sense, and one for complete lack of research concerning alchemy in both worlds and the whole thing just being a jack pot of shit.

That's five, yo.

[000_hester_000]

O HAI! I agree on the five sporks. What is with this fangirl 'zomg, unwanted pregnancies are so romantic' shit, anyway?

[saphira112]

HAI, DOCTOR! It's not romantic. It's disgusting. And completely illogical. Even for Amestris and the Real World.

[000_hester_000]

How are you, Cassian? Still itty bitty as ever?

...Yeah, making someone pregnant by alchemy is pretty creepy. Imagine trying to explain the logic behind that to a relationship counselor.

[orion117]

Perhaps, deep down, she doesn't really know which one is the father, because she did a lot of hugging in her day. The tramp.

Ha! I laughed out loud at that. This is really, really bad. The whole Idea of Ed making Winry unknowingly pregnant by hugging her just made me cringe. Maybe it was written by someone really, really young who just found out how babies were made and can't bring herself to believe that people actually do something like that. And then to kill Ed off, after he'd sent a pre-schooler out on an errand? The stupid, it hurts! Good sporking.

[fai_believes]

I've seen quite a few random I'mpregnant!fics in my day, but pregnancy by hugging--that's a new one. The claims to be 17 and if he/she has problems writing that, then avoid please!

Thanks though ^^

[darkenglishrose]

oh god, I hug my boyfriend all the time, WHATEVER WILL I DO!?
Oh wait, he's not an alchemist, it's ok.

Also, and by all means somebody correct me if I'm wrong, but this is shortly after/during the second world war (given the time passing I'd actually say during, so I'da gone with a stray bomb rather than a car), and knowing my history of automobiles (which I don't, so much), they weren't.... well, I'm fairly sure it wouldn't be going fast enough to kill on impact, he may well have sustained injuries severe enough for him to die in the hospital, but the likelihood of him just dying there in the street is fairly low...
oh wait, who am I kidding, that would have involved time and story and wasted those clearly precious words. Ed can die, must press on!

[fai_believes]

Thank goodness for that or you'd have your own brood by now. Yeah, there's just a lot wrong with the car incident, but I suppose if you need a sudden and dramatic death, getting run down by a car is the way to go -_-

[shadow_aura]

Oh no, what about me?! I hug my friends and family all of the time! Oh my god, I might have a baby from lesbianism/incest! DDDD:

Happy to know I wasn't the only one going "BWUH?!" with the car thing. Could've sworn it was quite a few years after this that they made cars that could go fast enough to cause instant death.

[6eddingsfan90]

I could not even finish that, it was so bad.

[fai_believes]

Word to that.

[nabaroo]

Perhaps, deep down, she doesn't really know which one is the father, because she did a lot of hugging in her day. The tramp.
Bwahaha. I couldn't stop laughing.

Okay, what is with this warped immaculate conception? Isn't that Mary's thing?
And how on earth could hugging + alchemy = child?
Way too many plot holes.
And I'm sad that she murdered Edward in such a stupid manner. And if his whole body was crushed by the car... how long would he live? Wouldn't he also have brain damage, and start spurting random nonsense (or at least things only Al could understand)?

[fai_believes]

Yeah, it hurts more when you start thinking about it though the gaping plot holes are hard to miss. I'm assuming the author was trying to go for some sort of dramatic emotional death where he dies in a loved one's arms and is mentally alert enoughto say his goodbyes before drifting peacefully into death. But yeah, after everything that Ed goes through, it's an out of control car that gets him in the end, lovely.

[nabaroo]

haha, yeah. It's worse than Sirius being beaten by a drapery.
It's like, "I've been an equal match to artificial humans with crazy-go-nuts powers, survived the loss of an arm and leg (and the surgery for new ones), saved my brother's soul, journeyed for about 3 years being the dog of the military to find an object that in the end was something I'd never use because of the sacrifice...and so much more. And now I'm dying because a little brat that was somehow conceived by my own alchemy and a goddamn hug decided to be smart and get in the way of a moving vehicle (considering she knows how to do alchemy and is a dog of the military already, she should of been intelligent enough to look both ways) which back then would be going roughly 15 kilometres per hour, and it crushed every bone in my body which should have also included my skull. But I'm fine enoug to say some last words, clear as crystal and sane, too."

[fai_believes]

lordy, your comment sent me into a fit of giggles and I'm at work right now so the co-workers are giving me some looks. You pretty much sporked the whole thing with that comment. Does learning (or I should say just randomly aquiring the ability to do alchemy) at a young prevent common sense, like looking both ways. She probably wouldn't know stop drop and roll if she caught on fire either. -_-