Apple sauce.... (part 1)
Welp that didnt go well.... Ill skip the doctor stuff thats been going on, as things have been going bad. Talks of death and other things. But as usual im still around and while I am life just has to go on. I will say because of worsing health and some very specific health problems I have felt very ancy in life in general lately. Which has not made other things easy. So its been hard to not to dwell on certain social situations that have occured like Apple Girl. Its one thing for health stuff to go bad, and because its been so bad I kinda just accept it and just try to keep positives out of social realtions. However that has taken a really big turn for the worse this year. Again this journal is pretty dead(However I still see people checking up on it randomly go figure...)as this is only the second entry I think this year. The first obviously being me making a fool of myself in front of Apple girl. I actually did have another post I made durning the summer as ive had a lot of girl stories this year, but I was afraid if any girls I was hanging out with read it, they may read it in a negative light somehow as I wrote it pretty lackadazically. Which I would never put them in a negative light so.. I took that one down. I have some other stories as well of course since then, but lets just focus on the "main" one to say that has pretty much put a huge downer on this entire year.
Apple girl....
OK so we met Apple girl in my last post. Or wait I think we did..*goes backs and check* yea we did. Again she isnt the normal kinda girl people think im in to that dont know me. And even people that know me more were suprised I like her. But even after that everything that happened(and didnt)I dont really think any less of her looks wise. I still would tell anyone that asked me that I think she is a very good looking girl. Her personality though... at least.. towards me. Has been pretty frustrating. To be honest.. Ive never in my entire life met anyone like her. For better and mostly worse it would seem. On the outside(and hell maybe even the inside.. as long as it doesn't have to do with me)she is a very friendly, fun, bubbly, ditsy , nerdy cute sorta girl. And shes very attractive in that way. However towards me, especially these last few months that ive known her, she actually is one of the most negative people I have ever met in my entire life. Maybe ever. At least the situations she has put me in are deffintly the most negative I can think of that someone who I would have ever called my "friend" ever. Although im fairly introverted in my own right especailly due to my situation, but also because of my situation and the life ive lived. Ive had the oppertunity to meet a lot of diff people, and make a lot of various friends from all over the world. So im not completely a socailly awkard penguin by any means. Can read people fairly well. But her.. No.. its been impossible. Constantly she has put me in bizare situations, and made me feel terrible constantly. But lets try to get into some of the stuff that went down with our "friendship"....
So where I left off. I confess to Apple girl that basically I thought she was beautiful, spilled my spagetti whatever you want to call it. And that ive had a crush on her since shes worked there. I pretty much left it at that. As again it was one of those things I had to say it for myself more then anything. So I let it be...
Anyway she kinda smiles at me and waves me down one day at Kroger.. So im like meh.. I guess maybe we can be friends or something. And we facebook each other. I see that she has a BF. Like almost every pic of her is with her BF. So im like boy I feel even awkward thinking this girl is good looking. So im already feeling a little awkward and kinda just decide to let it be... I see her go online facebook quite a bit when I first friended her. But I never bother to message her....(im mentioning this for what is to come later)Probably a mistake as obviously my intention is to at least be friends with this girl, but... I see the BF stuff.. and again it just kinda kills it.
Well whatever the case we slowly start talking when I see her at Kroger after this, genearlly pretty awkward as she makes me nervous, and I dunno.. I get this sorta weird vibe from her. But its not enough at this point to make me stop trying. As at this point im willing(and even now)to blame any awkwardness for that on me. Since well its kinda hard to get to know/talk to someone while theyre working.. But im the dude and im the one putting myself out there. And im doing a bad job at it since well since im already feeling nervous about this whole idea of us even being friends... I get the vibe and see that she is actually kinda dorky, and cute so it makes me think that even if there is nothing there, it seems pretty possible that we could be friends so even though im getting this werid feeling... I just keep going with it...
Well Staysha is having a birthday party some day. Note, I am TOTALLY fucked for this. Like.. This is June and although again I know I havn't kept up with journal stuff health wise. I had gastricparis for a large part of this summer and im doing really bad health wise. I got sick a few times before I even go to this thing...
So my first time seeing Apple girl out side of Kroger might not even happen. She writes some "concenered"(who can really say with this girl after how she is acted towards me..)if I am going or not. And Staysha tells me how she was so worried if im ok or not when she heard I was in the hospital or not earlier. *rolls eyes* Anyway I get to the party and she is with her BF, and well.. She doesnt seem to concerned to me. But we dont know each other that well.. so im like whatever.. I try to talk to her for a bit. And well whatever.. Doesnt go to well since im well.. Littearlly I was just in the bathroom before I came and was totally fucked out of my head. And im really not into anything more so if im just about to get sick or not again...
She gives me a couple of weird looks to at the party which kinda put me off too. Especially after hearing how concenered she was that I was just in the hosptial... But again I shrug it off.
Anyway strangely things must not have been going so bad as she asks for my number. I give it to her and dont think much of it. Since she has a BF. And im just not getting that vibe, nor would I probably see it anyway as again im more worried about if im going to get sick or not lol. I see a couple oppertunities to be cool at some point. (yea im being anal about writing everything.. but whatever may as well say it right)Specifically at some point I leave to go outside and make a phone call.. But I end up seeing some friends outside and talk to them for awhile. Eventauly Apple girl comes out right as I get down talking to them and gives me a weird kinda smug look. I figure just my luck she probably thought I was being a party pooper or something and just wasteing time out here instead of going back in. Theres a couple of random drunk girls out side that start making small talk... But im just so totally out of it, im like whatever and cant perk myself up to be fun. However Apple girl goes over to them and does. Which makes me feel shitty cuz now yea im deffintily the boring guy lol. Oh well... anyway eventaully the party dies down and its actually Leslies Pool Party and I gotta head up on other there since its already like 11. I tell everyone I gotta get going cuz I got another thing to go to, and Apple girl is like oh I want to go to. Honestly.. I could have taken her and her BF. Since I was told I could bring friends, but I kinda give them a "i dunno.." sorta thing.. since well.. I dont really know them lol.. And honestly I dont know how long im going to even be there with how im feeling. Anyway with that I leave and go to the other party which.. Im reaaaaaally fucked up there and can't even get in the pool for a good hour or so. And meet model girl there and make some other new friends but thats another story eh?....
So obviously I meet her BF there, Andrew(who also works at Kroger) and a friend of hers Cassie. They all seem nice enough. Andrew gives me a bit of a weird vibe, but he is a tall pretty well built dude so I just take that as him sorta being a manly kinda guy. lol I should say I had heard a lot of bad things(or at least nothing good) about the BF already at this point actually which ill get into later. But im not really one to judge.. so I was like whatever. He seems fine to me so its whatever.
So I think im at Kroger the next day(? maybe it was)or something, and im filling up my water. And and I notice Apple girl is right next to me, I turn around and then she walks away... oookay... thats weird. So I hesitate for a second because now im already weirded out cuz im getting the vibe that maybe me she mistook me being totally fucked up out of my head last night, as me not being friendly.. So I walk up after her and im like hey, and shes like oh hey how was the pool party. Im like.. It was ok. And there was this weird silence..And im like.. Is it really ok for me to hang out with you with your BF? Like he doesn't know that I told you I like you does he? And she is like no, im not going to tell anyone. So im like.. well.. OK then dude. So basically we agree or at least I agree as none of this was apparently real. That it was ok that we can just be friends, and it doesnt have to be weird. Because honestly basically my whole feel is, if we are going to be friends, lets be real friends. I dont want to be fake friends. Im not going to take back that your hot just because you I found out you have a BF. Of course it also doesn't help that ive already made a terrible first impression.... So im not in anyway getting my hopes up lol. Plus im not even getting that vibe at all shrug.....
So after this.... Shes actually pretty friendly with me. Smiling, giggling, whatever. At least.. If its just me and her. I guess again note for things later to come she also says she is going to be busy most the summer since she is working a extra job. She also starts texting me.. Id be lying if I said she texted me anything sexual but shes friendly. And again mentioning this just to say in all the time that ive known her I only maybe text her(like me starting a conversation)maybe a few times.. She is the one that always intiates any conversation with me. Again I kinda am iffy on the whole thing, as I get a weird sorta vibe from her and its hard to read.
So at some point Andrew is having a going away party since he is leaving Kroger. Apple girl invites me to go, and well.. Its all fucked up because she tells me the wrong time to go and I show up the wrong day. She apologizes and says she ment the next day or some BS. *face palm* im not to pleased as im already getting a werid vibe from her. But it was through texting and I can see how it was misunderstood. So im like whatever...
Note for this part Shawn and my brother come with me. Saying that lets get something else out of the way...
Shawn...
Is basically a mutual friend of me and Apple girls. I actually only found out he knew her by accident. Because since I didnt know anything about Apple girl when I found out that he knew her I even asked if he was her BF. Thats how little I knew about her lol.(note this conversation happened before I even first tried to talk to her)And he was like no, but he could have gotten wtih her at one time. As I guess they both liked each other. But basically short story shorter he was weirded out by her. And right from the start he basically told me that she is beautiful but weird. And that she wanted him to fight for her, and that there was always some kind of drama going on with her. And he didnt want to be part of it. And he also said that she has a on and off again BF(who is current BF)and he is pretty much a huge tool/ and dork. The dork comment of course doesnt matter to me since im a dork. But I guess basically he didnt have much good to say about him. I didnt ask why he didnt like the BF much as well.. I dont really go off other peoples opinons but from what I understand he just isnt that great of a dude I got. shrug... He was suprised that I liked her, and I remember it being kinda funny. Because he was like yea she has huge boobs.. and I was like oh no.. Its nothing like that lol. It was one of those things again that most people cant imagine me ever liking someone like her since she is kinda plain simple looking girl. But me and him both talked a bit about it and agreed that is exactly why she is so attractive she has a really sorta natural beauty about her. But whatever.. he was like yea go for it I dont care. And he was just like sometimes she is going out with this guy sometimes she isnt, and he sucks anyway.
Jenn...
I mention her(although she hasnt come up yet)because basically Staysha, Shawn, and Jenn are the only people I have ever talked to about Apple girl. Because they knew I liked her and they well also knew her. I tried to keep it a secret as I didnt want it to be weird. Just like when I talked to her after that party. So I could still be friends wtih everyone and no one would think that I was only being friends with her friends because well I thought she was good looking or something dum like that. Because well that would be a pretty easy thing to misunderstand. Other wise I tried never to even mention her name. Jenn her self if it matters(which maybe it does)hasnt really ever had much good to say about Apple girl ever to me. Other than that she is nice. And she was against me ever even trying to be friends with her basically. But again I dont judge other people from what others say so...
Just getting that bit out of the way.. Anyway...
So we go to this party me, my brother and Shawn... Its... awkward... Basically I end up just talking to the BF if anything most the time. Again I dont really know anyone there. As ive only met the BF once, Andrew a couple times, and Apple girl well.. Ive only talked to her a bit in text, and when I see her at Kroger.. Staysha was also there note, but she left pretty early.. So me and Apple girl basically dont talk the entire time. Hell, at one point a good portion of our side of the table left so I took that as a oppertunity to be like ok hey. My first chance to try to talk to this girl when im not totally fucked up out of my head. And right when I say something. She turns around, and goes on her phone....
WTF? im thinking.. Umm ok.. I switch seats to get a little closer. And I try asking her whats up. A very dead responce.. And a dead conversation.. Im pretty put off. And just let it be. And wonder why im here. Note that the whole time me and her were pretty close yet she.. like refused to look at me.. It was really.. weird.... Even after people got back and im sitting right next to her, she wont make eye contact with me, and just looks past me to everyone else while talking.. Im really weirded out.. At one point I guess she is "friendly" and she hits me on the shoulder and stuff a little sneakily while laughing...
Girls dont touch people they dont like. Thats a fact. But at this point were not even friends, and she is acting really werid.. So even if its a little hitting me to be playful while no one is looking.. Everything else is kinda wierd.. And im put off by everything. We say our goodbyes hug each other and leave....
Actually I should note. She looked REALLY good though lol. Sorry petty dude comment. But to be honest like I said I think she is more cute then hot kinda girl. But that day she looked the best ive ever seen her. Like.. in a petty dude sorta way hard to even be mad I thought she looked so good.. she had a sweater on with some stockings and boots. And well.. yea she looked good dude im not gonna lie.. ahem... anyway moving on...
So we leave and we immeditly start talking about how weird it was. That she was ignoring me for no reason. And shawn was like yea she sent me a text earlier saying that she thought you were cool but I didnt get that vibe at all. And then at that point I get a text from her, talking about how she is glad that we are becoming such good firends and getting so close.. And that we should all hang out again sometime. They ask who just texted me and I tell them. And my brother is basically like fuck that girl, why would she even say that after she ignored you like that. Shes not even that good looking, you get tons of girls all the time who cares about her. We talk some more about it and some discussion about how maybe she is acting weird because of the whole if people found out that I liked her it would be werid... Or again that as Shawn was saying earlier she is not the same person anymore and she acts wierd now. And maybe she is only using me to make her BF jealous. And that anyone who would ever go out with a creep like that is worth your time anyway.
I will say I stil have nothing bad to say about the BF at this point, and he still seems fine to me.
I should also say the ignoring thing is even more strange because seeing her with other people she is a VERY friendly person. Like making sure to include everyone. So the fact she ignores me is painful obvious. And especially strange because supposedly she has told no one anything about me. Yet im not introduced or anything to anyone... From the person that is inviting me...
Anyway im weirded out, and I get weirded out the next day at Kroger as, Apple girl walks by me with out saynig anything.... yet we are such good friends? WTF? I talk to Staysha that day and she says something like she is tired and she said she wanted to see me, so she must have just missed me..... Right... maybe... Shes like no she said that to me, she is probably just really tired from working 2 jobs..... ._.
Im werided out...
So again after that I guess comes this Spider man movie thing. She is having a group of people all go to the movie and she invites me. She is pretty excited about it, and when I see her she is pretty giggly again someone who likes like a cool person to actualy hang out with.. Its really werid.. one moment I would honestly say she is a rude person. And then the next she is cool. Its really fucking with me at this point, as its like im be given a shit test when im not even actually friends with someone yet. At one point she comes up to me and Staysha while were talking and again its so bizare she is really friendly. And im just like yea well maybe ill see you at the movie later, and shes like oh no you will! And laughs/smiles and walks away.. And Staysha ever positive is like see I told you she was just blushing the whole time while talking to you, she was probably just tired.... ya.. maybe....
So the movie happens, she messages me to head up.. I get there and I actually start making small talk with this girl who starts flirting with me, but then I see Apple girl out of the corner of my eye looking at me, so I cut the conversation and go over to her. And she is like oh i gotta go I was just getting popcorn for someone else.... Im like oh ok.. So I go over, and its a pretty big thing shes invited like 20 people. And what do you know. You guessed it. We dont talk.. Hell I was even asked who invited me.
....
It was just kinda oh hey your the guy that shops at Kroger, who invited you blah blah.. It was like damn man.. wtf.. why am I here.. Anyway I make friends with Jessie, Jordon, and I think Lindsy or something while introducing myself... Its pretty... weird... The day it self is kinda frustating besides that as right when I walked into the theater besides that I lost my eyes, and my mp3 player. So I was kinda frustrated about how I was going to get home.
Anyway other than the fact I didnt talk to the person who invited me *face palm* it was fun I guess... After the movie while talking to laughing with with some people I get that feeling that someone is staring at me.. I look up and I notice Apple girl watching me... I get kinda weirded out again and start to feel like im being given a shit test again. And I just tell myself I bet she is going to walk out of here to with out saying one word to me. And sure enough I left the movie with out talking to her. She just left with another group. No goodbye nothing... Im werided out again of course and a little irriated..... As I dont know what her problem is. But I just let it go because well there were a lot of people there whatever....
Again were friendly I guess after that when I see her in person just at Kroger.. And staysha tells me that she said she was sad or something she didnt get time to talk to me and felt bad about it....
....
Right....
.......................................
And here is where the Drama starts....
Apple girl....
OK so we met Apple girl in my last post. Or wait I think we did..*goes backs and check* yea we did. Again she isnt the normal kinda girl people think im in to that dont know me. And even people that know me more were suprised I like her. But even after that everything that happened(and didnt)I dont really think any less of her looks wise. I still would tell anyone that asked me that I think she is a very good looking girl. Her personality though... at least.. towards me. Has been pretty frustrating. To be honest.. Ive never in my entire life met anyone like her. For better and mostly worse it would seem. On the outside(and hell maybe even the inside.. as long as it doesn't have to do with me)she is a very friendly, fun, bubbly, ditsy , nerdy cute sorta girl. And shes very attractive in that way. However towards me, especially these last few months that ive known her, she actually is one of the most negative people I have ever met in my entire life. Maybe ever. At least the situations she has put me in are deffintly the most negative I can think of that someone who I would have ever called my "friend" ever. Although im fairly introverted in my own right especailly due to my situation, but also because of my situation and the life ive lived. Ive had the oppertunity to meet a lot of diff people, and make a lot of various friends from all over the world. So im not completely a socailly awkard penguin by any means. Can read people fairly well. But her.. No.. its been impossible. Constantly she has put me in bizare situations, and made me feel terrible constantly. But lets try to get into some of the stuff that went down with our "friendship"....
So where I left off. I confess to Apple girl that basically I thought she was beautiful, spilled my spagetti whatever you want to call it. And that ive had a crush on her since shes worked there. I pretty much left it at that. As again it was one of those things I had to say it for myself more then anything. So I let it be...
Anyway she kinda smiles at me and waves me down one day at Kroger.. So im like meh.. I guess maybe we can be friends or something. And we facebook each other. I see that she has a BF. Like almost every pic of her is with her BF. So im like boy I feel even awkward thinking this girl is good looking. So im already feeling a little awkward and kinda just decide to let it be... I see her go online facebook quite a bit when I first friended her. But I never bother to message her....(im mentioning this for what is to come later)Probably a mistake as obviously my intention is to at least be friends with this girl, but... I see the BF stuff.. and again it just kinda kills it.
Well whatever the case we slowly start talking when I see her at Kroger after this, genearlly pretty awkward as she makes me nervous, and I dunno.. I get this sorta weird vibe from her. But its not enough at this point to make me stop trying. As at this point im willing(and even now)to blame any awkwardness for that on me. Since well its kinda hard to get to know/talk to someone while theyre working.. But im the dude and im the one putting myself out there. And im doing a bad job at it since well since im already feeling nervous about this whole idea of us even being friends... I get the vibe and see that she is actually kinda dorky, and cute so it makes me think that even if there is nothing there, it seems pretty possible that we could be friends so even though im getting this werid feeling... I just keep going with it...
Well Staysha is having a birthday party some day. Note, I am TOTALLY fucked for this. Like.. This is June and although again I know I havn't kept up with journal stuff health wise. I had gastricparis for a large part of this summer and im doing really bad health wise. I got sick a few times before I even go to this thing...
So my first time seeing Apple girl out side of Kroger might not even happen. She writes some "concenered"(who can really say with this girl after how she is acted towards me..)if I am going or not. And Staysha tells me how she was so worried if im ok or not when she heard I was in the hospital or not earlier. *rolls eyes* Anyway I get to the party and she is with her BF, and well.. She doesnt seem to concerned to me. But we dont know each other that well.. so im like whatever.. I try to talk to her for a bit. And well whatever.. Doesnt go to well since im well.. Littearlly I was just in the bathroom before I came and was totally fucked out of my head. And im really not into anything more so if im just about to get sick or not again...
She gives me a couple of weird looks to at the party which kinda put me off too. Especially after hearing how concenered she was that I was just in the hosptial... But again I shrug it off.
Anyway strangely things must not have been going so bad as she asks for my number. I give it to her and dont think much of it. Since she has a BF. And im just not getting that vibe, nor would I probably see it anyway as again im more worried about if im going to get sick or not lol. I see a couple oppertunities to be cool at some point. (yea im being anal about writing everything.. but whatever may as well say it right)Specifically at some point I leave to go outside and make a phone call.. But I end up seeing some friends outside and talk to them for awhile. Eventauly Apple girl comes out right as I get down talking to them and gives me a weird kinda smug look. I figure just my luck she probably thought I was being a party pooper or something and just wasteing time out here instead of going back in. Theres a couple of random drunk girls out side that start making small talk... But im just so totally out of it, im like whatever and cant perk myself up to be fun. However Apple girl goes over to them and does. Which makes me feel shitty cuz now yea im deffintily the boring guy lol. Oh well... anyway eventaully the party dies down and its actually Leslies Pool Party and I gotta head up on other there since its already like 11. I tell everyone I gotta get going cuz I got another thing to go to, and Apple girl is like oh I want to go to. Honestly.. I could have taken her and her BF. Since I was told I could bring friends, but I kinda give them a "i dunno.." sorta thing.. since well.. I dont really know them lol.. And honestly I dont know how long im going to even be there with how im feeling. Anyway with that I leave and go to the other party which.. Im reaaaaaally fucked up there and can't even get in the pool for a good hour or so. And meet model girl there and make some other new friends but thats another story eh?....
So obviously I meet her BF there, Andrew(who also works at Kroger) and a friend of hers Cassie. They all seem nice enough. Andrew gives me a bit of a weird vibe, but he is a tall pretty well built dude so I just take that as him sorta being a manly kinda guy. lol I should say I had heard a lot of bad things(or at least nothing good) about the BF already at this point actually which ill get into later. But im not really one to judge.. so I was like whatever. He seems fine to me so its whatever.
So I think im at Kroger the next day(? maybe it was)or something, and im filling up my water. And and I notice Apple girl is right next to me, I turn around and then she walks away... oookay... thats weird. So I hesitate for a second because now im already weirded out cuz im getting the vibe that maybe me she mistook me being totally fucked up out of my head last night, as me not being friendly.. So I walk up after her and im like hey, and shes like oh hey how was the pool party. Im like.. It was ok. And there was this weird silence..And im like.. Is it really ok for me to hang out with you with your BF? Like he doesn't know that I told you I like you does he? And she is like no, im not going to tell anyone. So im like.. well.. OK then dude. So basically we agree or at least I agree as none of this was apparently real. That it was ok that we can just be friends, and it doesnt have to be weird. Because honestly basically my whole feel is, if we are going to be friends, lets be real friends. I dont want to be fake friends. Im not going to take back that your hot just because you I found out you have a BF. Of course it also doesn't help that ive already made a terrible first impression.... So im not in anyway getting my hopes up lol. Plus im not even getting that vibe at all shrug.....
So after this.... Shes actually pretty friendly with me. Smiling, giggling, whatever. At least.. If its just me and her. I guess again note for things later to come she also says she is going to be busy most the summer since she is working a extra job. She also starts texting me.. Id be lying if I said she texted me anything sexual but shes friendly. And again mentioning this just to say in all the time that ive known her I only maybe text her(like me starting a conversation)maybe a few times.. She is the one that always intiates any conversation with me. Again I kinda am iffy on the whole thing, as I get a weird sorta vibe from her and its hard to read.
So at some point Andrew is having a going away party since he is leaving Kroger. Apple girl invites me to go, and well.. Its all fucked up because she tells me the wrong time to go and I show up the wrong day. She apologizes and says she ment the next day or some BS. *face palm* im not to pleased as im already getting a werid vibe from her. But it was through texting and I can see how it was misunderstood. So im like whatever...
Note for this part Shawn and my brother come with me. Saying that lets get something else out of the way...
Shawn...
Is basically a mutual friend of me and Apple girls. I actually only found out he knew her by accident. Because since I didnt know anything about Apple girl when I found out that he knew her I even asked if he was her BF. Thats how little I knew about her lol.(note this conversation happened before I even first tried to talk to her)And he was like no, but he could have gotten wtih her at one time. As I guess they both liked each other. But basically short story shorter he was weirded out by her. And right from the start he basically told me that she is beautiful but weird. And that she wanted him to fight for her, and that there was always some kind of drama going on with her. And he didnt want to be part of it. And he also said that she has a on and off again BF(who is current BF)and he is pretty much a huge tool/ and dork. The dork comment of course doesnt matter to me since im a dork. But I guess basically he didnt have much good to say about him. I didnt ask why he didnt like the BF much as well.. I dont really go off other peoples opinons but from what I understand he just isnt that great of a dude I got. shrug... He was suprised that I liked her, and I remember it being kinda funny. Because he was like yea she has huge boobs.. and I was like oh no.. Its nothing like that lol. It was one of those things again that most people cant imagine me ever liking someone like her since she is kinda plain simple looking girl. But me and him both talked a bit about it and agreed that is exactly why she is so attractive she has a really sorta natural beauty about her. But whatever.. he was like yea go for it I dont care. And he was just like sometimes she is going out with this guy sometimes she isnt, and he sucks anyway.
Jenn...
I mention her(although she hasnt come up yet)because basically Staysha, Shawn, and Jenn are the only people I have ever talked to about Apple girl. Because they knew I liked her and they well also knew her. I tried to keep it a secret as I didnt want it to be weird. Just like when I talked to her after that party. So I could still be friends wtih everyone and no one would think that I was only being friends with her friends because well I thought she was good looking or something dum like that. Because well that would be a pretty easy thing to misunderstand. Other wise I tried never to even mention her name. Jenn her self if it matters(which maybe it does)hasnt really ever had much good to say about Apple girl ever to me. Other than that she is nice. And she was against me ever even trying to be friends with her basically. But again I dont judge other people from what others say so...
Just getting that bit out of the way.. Anyway...
So we go to this party me, my brother and Shawn... Its... awkward... Basically I end up just talking to the BF if anything most the time. Again I dont really know anyone there. As ive only met the BF once, Andrew a couple times, and Apple girl well.. Ive only talked to her a bit in text, and when I see her at Kroger.. Staysha was also there note, but she left pretty early.. So me and Apple girl basically dont talk the entire time. Hell, at one point a good portion of our side of the table left so I took that as a oppertunity to be like ok hey. My first chance to try to talk to this girl when im not totally fucked up out of my head. And right when I say something. She turns around, and goes on her phone....
WTF? im thinking.. Umm ok.. I switch seats to get a little closer. And I try asking her whats up. A very dead responce.. And a dead conversation.. Im pretty put off. And just let it be. And wonder why im here. Note that the whole time me and her were pretty close yet she.. like refused to look at me.. It was really.. weird.... Even after people got back and im sitting right next to her, she wont make eye contact with me, and just looks past me to everyone else while talking.. Im really weirded out.. At one point I guess she is "friendly" and she hits me on the shoulder and stuff a little sneakily while laughing...
Girls dont touch people they dont like. Thats a fact. But at this point were not even friends, and she is acting really werid.. So even if its a little hitting me to be playful while no one is looking.. Everything else is kinda wierd.. And im put off by everything. We say our goodbyes hug each other and leave....
Actually I should note. She looked REALLY good though lol. Sorry petty dude comment. But to be honest like I said I think she is more cute then hot kinda girl. But that day she looked the best ive ever seen her. Like.. in a petty dude sorta way hard to even be mad I thought she looked so good.. she had a sweater on with some stockings and boots. And well.. yea she looked good dude im not gonna lie.. ahem... anyway moving on...
So we leave and we immeditly start talking about how weird it was. That she was ignoring me for no reason. And shawn was like yea she sent me a text earlier saying that she thought you were cool but I didnt get that vibe at all. And then at that point I get a text from her, talking about how she is glad that we are becoming such good firends and getting so close.. And that we should all hang out again sometime. They ask who just texted me and I tell them. And my brother is basically like fuck that girl, why would she even say that after she ignored you like that. Shes not even that good looking, you get tons of girls all the time who cares about her. We talk some more about it and some discussion about how maybe she is acting weird because of the whole if people found out that I liked her it would be werid... Or again that as Shawn was saying earlier she is not the same person anymore and she acts wierd now. And maybe she is only using me to make her BF jealous. And that anyone who would ever go out with a creep like that is worth your time anyway.
I will say I stil have nothing bad to say about the BF at this point, and he still seems fine to me.
I should also say the ignoring thing is even more strange because seeing her with other people she is a VERY friendly person. Like making sure to include everyone. So the fact she ignores me is painful obvious. And especially strange because supposedly she has told no one anything about me. Yet im not introduced or anything to anyone... From the person that is inviting me...
Anyway im weirded out, and I get weirded out the next day at Kroger as, Apple girl walks by me with out saynig anything.... yet we are such good friends? WTF? I talk to Staysha that day and she says something like she is tired and she said she wanted to see me, so she must have just missed me..... Right... maybe... Shes like no she said that to me, she is probably just really tired from working 2 jobs..... ._.
Im werided out...
So again after that I guess comes this Spider man movie thing. She is having a group of people all go to the movie and she invites me. She is pretty excited about it, and when I see her she is pretty giggly again someone who likes like a cool person to actualy hang out with.. Its really werid.. one moment I would honestly say she is a rude person. And then the next she is cool. Its really fucking with me at this point, as its like im be given a shit test when im not even actually friends with someone yet. At one point she comes up to me and Staysha while were talking and again its so bizare she is really friendly. And im just like yea well maybe ill see you at the movie later, and shes like oh no you will! And laughs/smiles and walks away.. And Staysha ever positive is like see I told you she was just blushing the whole time while talking to you, she was probably just tired.... ya.. maybe....
So the movie happens, she messages me to head up.. I get there and I actually start making small talk with this girl who starts flirting with me, but then I see Apple girl out of the corner of my eye looking at me, so I cut the conversation and go over to her. And she is like oh i gotta go I was just getting popcorn for someone else.... Im like oh ok.. So I go over, and its a pretty big thing shes invited like 20 people. And what do you know. You guessed it. We dont talk.. Hell I was even asked who invited me.
....
It was just kinda oh hey your the guy that shops at Kroger, who invited you blah blah.. It was like damn man.. wtf.. why am I here.. Anyway I make friends with Jessie, Jordon, and I think Lindsy or something while introducing myself... Its pretty... weird... The day it self is kinda frustating besides that as right when I walked into the theater besides that I lost my eyes, and my mp3 player. So I was kinda frustrated about how I was going to get home.
Anyway other than the fact I didnt talk to the person who invited me *face palm* it was fun I guess... After the movie while talking to laughing with with some people I get that feeling that someone is staring at me.. I look up and I notice Apple girl watching me... I get kinda weirded out again and start to feel like im being given a shit test again. And I just tell myself I bet she is going to walk out of here to with out saying one word to me. And sure enough I left the movie with out talking to her. She just left with another group. No goodbye nothing... Im werided out again of course and a little irriated..... As I dont know what her problem is. But I just let it go because well there were a lot of people there whatever....
Again were friendly I guess after that when I see her in person just at Kroger.. And staysha tells me that she said she was sad or something she didnt get time to talk to me and felt bad about it....
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Right....
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And here is where the Drama starts....