Umbridge Island Radio, Wednesday , July 25th
Raven [giggling]: Gooooood morning, Fandom. I hope everyone got a good night's sleep last night and is well rested for today.
Bel: Ah, I see we're in giggling psychopath mode today.
Raven: What is that supposed to mean?
Bel: You have more channels than my TV. And I have a pretty good cable package.
Raven: I do not know what you are talking about.
Bel: Whatever you say, Sibyl.
Raven: My name is Raven. Please be quiet. We must complete our task of reading the news, and then I must get to detention.
School
Raven: Headmistress Umbridge entertained us with her lovely singing voice during the morning announcements.
Bel: That's one way of describing it.
Raven: Do not be disrespectful.
Bel: It comes with the demon package. Oh wait, you didn't get that, you got "pink" and "batshit crazy."
Raven: Pink is Headmistress Umbridge's favorite color, so I wear it to honor her. Now be quiet. Yesterday in The Origin of Things: Stolen Wizard Culture, the class discussed how the story of the Phantom of the Opera was stolen from a witch. The students were required to come up with suitable punishments for Andrew Lloyd Webber and his grandmother. I am not certain what her involvement was, but if she aided her grandson, then yes, she should be punished as well. Morals and Loyalty featured a talk on how to best deal with a gremlin bite while still obeying the rules of the island, which is important. The class then acted out scenarios of one person being bitten while their partner kept them out of trouble.
Bel: Gremlin bites are awesome. Well, when you're the one filming them. Kinda makes me nostalgic for someone who used to get gremlin bit all the time.
Raven: Who is that?
Bel: Just someone not around anymore. You wouldn't know him. You probably wouldn't like him at all.
Raven: I see. Well, just because you are bitten by a gremlin is no excuse for being bad.
Bel: Do you challenge yourself every morning to be more nuts than the previous day? Really, I'm curious.
Raven: I am ignoring you. English Grammar had a test on when to use lay or lie. They then had a test and had to sit quietly until class was dismissed. Modern Technology for Beginners watched a movie about automobiles and what dangers they are. And finally, Seven Heavenly And Proper Virtues focused on Temperance, and the students had to demonstrate how to embody this quality by not giving in to gluttony and taking only a sensible portion of the provided sweets.
Bel: OK, your eyes just got a little crazier than normal.
Raven: You are imagining things. I was merely thinking of the Seven Deadly Sins and what awful things they are.
Bel: Then why do you look kinda hungry?
Raven: I am still ignoring you. In the main office, Momoko had a late morning tea delivery. I hope they were not too late, or Headmistress Umbridge will be displeased. And Cassie sang a song about being cheap and evil in the library. The dangers of being such, I assume.
Bel: Hey, I like 'em cheap and evil. Don't knock it. Now give me some of those notes so I don't just sit here providing line by line snark. So detention was rocking with the singing as well today, apparently. Breakfast put Zayne in a good mood and prompted a song, but Jaye threw food at him and called him a hippie. Dinah and Jack burst into song as well and talked about surviving detention. Getting out would be the best plan.
Raven: They have to be good to get out.
Bel: ...right. That's exactly what I meant. Anyway, Jono got sung at by Jack, and they discussed post-detention plans if they ever got out. April talked to Jono about obeying Umbridge so she can play drums again. There's some skewed priorities. And Liara sang at Jono in some weird language.
Raven: And he did not sing back because because he cannot. Because he does not have a mouth.
Bel: Easier there, petty girl. Eve and...Phoebe sang a sad song together.
Raven: She was is your girlfriend, is she not?
Bel: Was. Past tense. I got over my witch phase.
Raven: Reeeeeaaaal~ly?
Bel: ...stop looking at me like that. You're creeping me out. Jaye played with her wax lion with Bruce. Or something like that. And then there were visiting hours. Elle had some fun with Cassidy....
Raven: Cassidy is so, so broken. Poor thing.
Bel: Speak for yourself. Oh, and it looks like you were there, too, to cheer Bruce up and to sing at Jono. Awwww, someone's got a crush. That explains the pettiness. You gonna dunk his pigtails in the inkwell next?
Raven: Shut up. That is not true. And he does not have pigtails.
Bel: Figure of speech. What'd you sing? A little Celine Dion? Will your heart go on? OW! Did you just do that?
Raven: Continue with the notes or I will do it again.
Bel: Sore spot, huh? Emma paid a visit to Jack and sang to him. She also kindly explained that if people weren't so stubborn and would just agree to obey the rules, they could be released from detention, and while Jono turned her down flat, Rinoa seemed more agreeable.
Raven: Oh, yes! It will be so good to see you come out of detention, Rinoa!
Bel: After dinner, Dinah sang about having a crush on Sam. No PDA, kids, you know the rules. Later, Zoe tried to comfort Cassidy.
Raven: Poor broken little Queen. Maybe I will play with her today. I will tell her you say hello, Karla.
Bel: You do that. Also in school news, Kennedy made a call home and broke into song -- not necessarily at the same time -- and Bo serenaded a picture of Umbridge --
Raven: Headmistress Umbridge.
Bel: -- and then got a visit from Kenzi, who was warned not to make fun of Headmistress Umbridge.
Raven: She should not. It is disrespectful and against the rules and will get you punished.
Bel: Right.
Dorms
Bel: The dorms, at least, seemed quiet as they should be, though Dave was all emo-ing it up in his room and the drywall in the fourth floor stairwell was singing, much to Kenzi's confusion. Oh, Fandom.
Town
Raven: Annie Edison encountered Yakko in town today. He gave her a pie but proceeded to argue with her about rules. If there is any question about rules, please make an appointment to see Headmistress Umbridge, and she will set your mind straight.
Bel: I bet she will. Vincent sang to a tomato at Cafe Luke, and Mary Connell was singing at the Umbridge Arms. She's got some impressive...lungs, did you know that?
Raven: I have not heard her sing.
Bel: Neither have I. Her assistant Isabel went over receipts to make sure everything was in order. Yakko also made an appearance there with a crying sheep. That he did not abandon at the hotel to become part of the Shepherd's Pie. Why are you making that face?
Raven: I do not consume the flesh of animals.
Bel: More bacon for me then!
Raven: Ms. Frost taught her class at the Community Center on how to get your point across. And apparently you were doing some sort of "sexy dance" outside JGoB.
Bel: I'm sexy and I know it, what can I say?
Raven: Security Chief Bo would not approve.
Bel: She's welcome to take it up with me. All she wants.
Raven: I do not think that would end the way you think it would end.
Bel: Remains to be seen. Bruce Wayne worked on a lesson plan at the Perk, and talked about travel plans with Juliet. Victor was dancing at Stark's, and Topher wanted to know what he'd been talking to Tony about. And something about making dinner and dirty touching. Awwww, such a cute couple.
Raven: That is not appropriate.
Bel: Neither is your dress. Kitty had Caritas open for dinner, which Coulson stopped by to enjoy. And at Things Reborn, Billy worked on a camera.
Raven: Mr. Barton was patrolling the town for trouble -- why did you feel angry at the mention of his name?
Bel: No reason. He just better not get handsy with a certain someone, all I'm saying.
Raven: Ah, jealousy. I am certain Mr. Barton will be a gentleman. As he was when he encountered a rebel and relieved him of his weapon.
Bel: I'm sure he was. Tony Stark found a bunch of anti-personal mines in a warehouse and was helped by a rebel in disarming them? Really now. Tony also tried to convince his ex-girlfriend, Stephanie, to turn herself in. Bet that went over well. Some masked intruder threw things at Tony, archer boy turned over the weapon he'd confiscated.
Raven: Topher was also patrolling this evening. He was viciously attacked by Kate, but was able to incapacitate her with a tazer. He later told Elle of his triumph, though Elle made him jealous by demonstrating her electrical powers. That creature Yakko drove by on a sled pulled by pigeons. Later the rebel Kate was found by the equally disobedient Hannibal, who took her to safety. And at the Umbridge Arms, Isabel sang about dreaming, and Momoko sang about wanting to see someone. She did get a phone call from Priestly afterward so hopefully that satisfied her need for companionship.
Bel: Cara was singing out around the rocky bits of the island, and it looks like Karla was singing out at Selkie Cove, where she had a conversation with Anna and Warren...and you apparently.
Raven: Yes. I will soon have her in detention where she belongs.
Bel: Good luck with that.
Raven: And speaking of detention, I must be on my way there. I will see you shortly, my friends. Shall I say hello to your witch?
Bel: Whatever. Like I care? The day I care about a witch again is the day I start singing Nickelback. Here and now this I vow. Later, Fandom. I'm out of here.
Bel: Ah, I see we're in giggling psychopath mode today.
Raven: What is that supposed to mean?
Bel: You have more channels than my TV. And I have a pretty good cable package.
Raven: I do not know what you are talking about.
Bel: Whatever you say, Sibyl.
Raven: My name is Raven. Please be quiet. We must complete our task of reading the news, and then I must get to detention.
School
Raven: Headmistress Umbridge entertained us with her lovely singing voice during the morning announcements.
Bel: That's one way of describing it.
Raven: Do not be disrespectful.
Bel: It comes with the demon package. Oh wait, you didn't get that, you got "pink" and "batshit crazy."
Raven: Pink is Headmistress Umbridge's favorite color, so I wear it to honor her. Now be quiet. Yesterday in The Origin of Things: Stolen Wizard Culture, the class discussed how the story of the Phantom of the Opera was stolen from a witch. The students were required to come up with suitable punishments for Andrew Lloyd Webber and his grandmother. I am not certain what her involvement was, but if she aided her grandson, then yes, she should be punished as well. Morals and Loyalty featured a talk on how to best deal with a gremlin bite while still obeying the rules of the island, which is important. The class then acted out scenarios of one person being bitten while their partner kept them out of trouble.
Bel: Gremlin bites are awesome. Well, when you're the one filming them. Kinda makes me nostalgic for someone who used to get gremlin bit all the time.
Raven: Who is that?
Bel: Just someone not around anymore. You wouldn't know him. You probably wouldn't like him at all.
Raven: I see. Well, just because you are bitten by a gremlin is no excuse for being bad.
Bel: Do you challenge yourself every morning to be more nuts than the previous day? Really, I'm curious.
Raven: I am ignoring you. English Grammar had a test on when to use lay or lie. They then had a test and had to sit quietly until class was dismissed. Modern Technology for Beginners watched a movie about automobiles and what dangers they are. And finally, Seven Heavenly And Proper Virtues focused on Temperance, and the students had to demonstrate how to embody this quality by not giving in to gluttony and taking only a sensible portion of the provided sweets.
Bel: OK, your eyes just got a little crazier than normal.
Raven: You are imagining things. I was merely thinking of the Seven Deadly Sins and what awful things they are.
Bel: Then why do you look kinda hungry?
Raven: I am still ignoring you. In the main office, Momoko had a late morning tea delivery. I hope they were not too late, or Headmistress Umbridge will be displeased. And Cassie sang a song about being cheap and evil in the library. The dangers of being such, I assume.
Bel: Hey, I like 'em cheap and evil. Don't knock it. Now give me some of those notes so I don't just sit here providing line by line snark. So detention was rocking with the singing as well today, apparently. Breakfast put Zayne in a good mood and prompted a song, but Jaye threw food at him and called him a hippie. Dinah and Jack burst into song as well and talked about surviving detention. Getting out would be the best plan.
Raven: They have to be good to get out.
Bel: ...right. That's exactly what I meant. Anyway, Jono got sung at by Jack, and they discussed post-detention plans if they ever got out. April talked to Jono about obeying Umbridge so she can play drums again. There's some skewed priorities. And Liara sang at Jono in some weird language.
Raven: And he did not sing back because because he cannot. Because he does not have a mouth.
Bel: Easier there, petty girl. Eve and...Phoebe sang a sad song together.
Raven: She was is your girlfriend, is she not?
Bel: Was. Past tense. I got over my witch phase.
Raven: Reeeeeaaaal~ly?
Bel: ...stop looking at me like that. You're creeping me out. Jaye played with her wax lion with Bruce. Or something like that. And then there were visiting hours. Elle had some fun with Cassidy....
Raven: Cassidy is so, so broken. Poor thing.
Bel: Speak for yourself. Oh, and it looks like you were there, too, to cheer Bruce up and to sing at Jono. Awwww, someone's got a crush. That explains the pettiness. You gonna dunk his pigtails in the inkwell next?
Raven: Shut up. That is not true. And he does not have pigtails.
Bel: Figure of speech. What'd you sing? A little Celine Dion? Will your heart go on? OW! Did you just do that?
Raven: Continue with the notes or I will do it again.
Bel: Sore spot, huh? Emma paid a visit to Jack and sang to him. She also kindly explained that if people weren't so stubborn and would just agree to obey the rules, they could be released from detention, and while Jono turned her down flat, Rinoa seemed more agreeable.
Raven: Oh, yes! It will be so good to see you come out of detention, Rinoa!
Bel: After dinner, Dinah sang about having a crush on Sam. No PDA, kids, you know the rules. Later, Zoe tried to comfort Cassidy.
Raven: Poor broken little Queen. Maybe I will play with her today. I will tell her you say hello, Karla.
Bel: You do that. Also in school news, Kennedy made a call home and broke into song -- not necessarily at the same time -- and Bo serenaded a picture of Umbridge --
Raven: Headmistress Umbridge.
Bel: -- and then got a visit from Kenzi, who was warned not to make fun of Headmistress Umbridge.
Raven: She should not. It is disrespectful and against the rules and will get you punished.
Bel: Right.
Dorms
Bel: The dorms, at least, seemed quiet as they should be, though Dave was all emo-ing it up in his room and the drywall in the fourth floor stairwell was singing, much to Kenzi's confusion. Oh, Fandom.
Town
Raven: Annie Edison encountered Yakko in town today. He gave her a pie but proceeded to argue with her about rules. If there is any question about rules, please make an appointment to see Headmistress Umbridge, and she will set your mind straight.
Bel: I bet she will. Vincent sang to a tomato at Cafe Luke, and Mary Connell was singing at the Umbridge Arms. She's got some impressive...lungs, did you know that?
Raven: I have not heard her sing.
Bel: Neither have I. Her assistant Isabel went over receipts to make sure everything was in order. Yakko also made an appearance there with a crying sheep. That he did not abandon at the hotel to become part of the Shepherd's Pie. Why are you making that face?
Raven: I do not consume the flesh of animals.
Bel: More bacon for me then!
Raven: Ms. Frost taught her class at the Community Center on how to get your point across. And apparently you were doing some sort of "sexy dance" outside JGoB.
Bel: I'm sexy and I know it, what can I say?
Raven: Security Chief Bo would not approve.
Bel: She's welcome to take it up with me. All she wants.
Raven: I do not think that would end the way you think it would end.
Bel: Remains to be seen. Bruce Wayne worked on a lesson plan at the Perk, and talked about travel plans with Juliet. Victor was dancing at Stark's, and Topher wanted to know what he'd been talking to Tony about. And something about making dinner and dirty touching. Awwww, such a cute couple.
Raven: That is not appropriate.
Bel: Neither is your dress. Kitty had Caritas open for dinner, which Coulson stopped by to enjoy. And at Things Reborn, Billy worked on a camera.
Raven: Mr. Barton was patrolling the town for trouble -- why did you feel angry at the mention of his name?
Bel: No reason. He just better not get handsy with a certain someone, all I'm saying.
Raven: Ah, jealousy. I am certain Mr. Barton will be a gentleman. As he was when he encountered a rebel and relieved him of his weapon.
Bel: I'm sure he was. Tony Stark found a bunch of anti-personal mines in a warehouse and was helped by a rebel in disarming them? Really now. Tony also tried to convince his ex-girlfriend, Stephanie, to turn herself in. Bet that went over well. Some masked intruder threw things at Tony, archer boy turned over the weapon he'd confiscated.
Raven: Topher was also patrolling this evening. He was viciously attacked by Kate, but was able to incapacitate her with a tazer. He later told Elle of his triumph, though Elle made him jealous by demonstrating her electrical powers. That creature Yakko drove by on a sled pulled by pigeons. Later the rebel Kate was found by the equally disobedient Hannibal, who took her to safety. And at the Umbridge Arms, Isabel sang about dreaming, and Momoko sang about wanting to see someone. She did get a phone call from Priestly afterward so hopefully that satisfied her need for companionship.
Bel: Cara was singing out around the rocky bits of the island, and it looks like Karla was singing out at Selkie Cove, where she had a conversation with Anna and Warren...and you apparently.
Raven: Yes. I will soon have her in detention where she belongs.
Bel: Good luck with that.
Raven: And speaking of detention, I must be on my way there. I will see you shortly, my friends. Shall I say hello to your witch?
Bel: Whatever. Like I care? The day I care about a witch again is the day I start singing Nickelback. Here and now this I vow. Later, Fandom. I'm out of here.