(no subject)
so i'm at a point where i really don't know what i should be doing. sometimes i think that i'm not ready for anything close to a relationship and other times all i want is someone to be with. it's kinda twisted. and then i keep thinking, 2 weeks and i'm 6 hours and how many hot guys away from here. and i don't know why but i keep thinking about this one guy and how it makes me so mad that he is with some other girl right now...i really don't think that i've ever been so jealous in my whole life. and i'm at a point where i don't even know what else i can do, probably because there really isn't anything left for me to do, but sit and smile and watch and wait for it to fall apart. or at least hope that it does so that i can have a chance....it sounds so bad when i say it like that, but hey, it is what i want. i just wish that everyone wouldn't do what is best right now at this moment but what is best long term....then there would be way less bullshit in relationships and they would end when they are supposed to and start when they are supposed to.....i mean, he's supposed to be with me, what the hell am i supposed to do now, until he is single again??? i guess just go date some random people...its crap.....so i'll end up dating just one guy and he'll end up being single when i get happy and the cycle will continue....what's new.