I want to cry.
I want to break things.
I want to hit people.
I want to yell.
I want to scream.
I want to slam doors.
I want to tell them all to shut the fuck up.
I want to make someone hear me.
I want to get out of here.
I want to.

But I can't.

i'm grasping at threads.
my safe haven isn't safe anymore.
my wall got up and left behind.
then world is silent. everyone's gone.

i'm screaming. you hear me?!
I'M SCREAMING LET ME OUT

fuck. i don't know if i can stand the silence.

I feel horrible today.

I thought I was starting to make progress, I honestly thought I was.
but no.

I'm so desperate to be liked, cared for, it's fucking ridiculous ( Read more... )

No, seriously? is there ( Read more... )

I'm so tired ( Read more... )

i feel so fucking inadequate.

i don't even know why i bother to write anymore. I'll never be that good. I read something like that and it makes me want to cry, because it's so much more then i'll ever be

i spent months on that fic. i wrote, and rewrote and changed and molded it until it was exactly how i wanted it. It's the best thing I've ever ( Read more... )

I'm so confused.
I hurt, and i feel like a child.

i want my fantasies and delusions back.
i want my other half back.
I want to go back to when everything was simple. when i had the people i loved and they loved me and i felt cared for and love and fucking cherishedI don't care if it was a lie. I remember how it felt. I remember how easy it was to ( Read more... )

It's all been a lie. all of it. a year of my life, so much pain, so much heartache, was all a lie. everything i went through, i nearly killed myself....
my best...  and it's all been a lie.

i guess the only good part is that since he was never real, it means he can't have died