i thought i loved you, but it's just how you looked in the light

[emmyatthedisco]

I'm so confused.
I hurt, and i feel like a child.

i want my fantasies and delusions back.
i want my other half back.
I want to go back to when everything was simple. when i had the people i loved and they loved me and i felt cared for and love and fucking cherished.
I don't care if it was a lie. I remember how it felt. I remember how easy it was to smile, for just a little while. i remember feeling like i always had someone to go to, that i would always be able to find someone in our circle to help me.

now i've never, ever felt so alone.

i want it all back.
i miss him. even though he wasn't real.