As the experiment unfolds, I am still seeking that emotional attachment. When pointed out that I am saying and doing things that would reveal an already present emotional attachment, I respond those are just things - merely words and behaviors which can be said and acted out without true feelings behind them (though that's not what it feels like ( Read more... )

The experiment is two-fold and based on nothing more than my theoretical musings while trying (and failing) to heal myself from unrequited love ( Read more... )

If someone is without food or shelter, we don't ask them if they're sure they require these things - we simply suggest they get those needs met. No one questions whether the need is real or not. Maslow theorized only once those physiological needs were met could we look toward the next level of our development, yet was careful to outline each level ( Read more... )

Looking back, what put me in the position in which I found myself was a series of uncomfortable experiences: The conversation where Cass wanted me to "also" date other people in hopes I'd find someone "more well suited;" agreeing to experiment with someone willing to try and find out if an entire relationship could be fulfilling based solely upon ( Read more... )

Forgot to Let Tess know I would be in Oklahoma, but since I keep the link up to her teleheatlh - when I join she gets a text notification - so it all worked out. Jennifer joined me on and off in between working on her client. As usual, she wanted to know all the things; Jennifer, Cass, Dorian...it's like being a part of a sewing circle and this is ( Read more... )

Tess wanted to know how things went my week in Oklahoma, and picked up on the fact I wasn't immediately interested in initiating a romantic relationship with Jennifer. "So why are you going back this weekend?" she asked. I explained that couldn't possible predict eventualities, and wanted to pursue the idea further. I also laughed at Cass' reminder ( Read more... )

Tess was in her (what I call), "Fireside chat" mode so not overly therapeutic. Jennifer joined me for session, sitting adjacent me in the hotel room. Her and Tess seemed to mesh well, having several ideologies in common. She started the session with her and Jennifer talking about all my positive traits and how fun I was. I haven't felt fun since I ( Read more... )

Told Tess I had written up last season's notes, and sent them to Cass at her request, and that I would no longer be pursuing her. Tess asked, "How'd she respond to that?" I replied, "Honestly? She seemed relieved ( Read more... )

I started with the whole "dating other people" and why specifically that is such an absolute shit show for me specifically. In a word, my demisexuality. While it's true that I first became infatuated with Cass after experiencing her personality, it was in equal parts the yoga pants she wore around the house that week. Or, to quote Cass herself ( Read more... )

Cass missed the first half of the session, so I asked what the difference was between fear and anxiety, as I had always assumed fear was localized while anxiety was unspecified. Tess helped me understand that unlike fear, anxiety manifests itself through elevated heart rate and feelings of dread either generally, or with specific triggers. When I ( Read more... )