you know, stalking seems to have reawakened, more or less. it's a good thing to have, a valuable resource. but i'm not participating right now, i'm not fixing myself between the community's walls right now because there are other priorities. because you don't get it. can you hear me? no of course you can't because you don't listen, because you don't know ( Read more... )

(i wrote this twenty minutes ago, but lj killed it, thus the blank entry which i will leave as a grave. it is seems the best flow of energy and thoughts and emotions can never be tolerated by livejournal's weakened system ( Read more... )

i don't know how i'm going to live through the rest of the school year. the marking period ends about the 13th or 14th of june, and i have two field trips at the end of next week but its all not close enough. its not good enough. i am failing chemistry this marking period. there's nothing to cushion my fall now, no more labs and the homework is ( Read more... )

i've had a bad day. i wrote a poem, doesn't that say something? this is a very uncomfortable week, never have i ever been so insecure about being a nihilist. and that was the whole fucking point of my nihilism- security. but, thus is the plague of humanity, who must impress, who must motivate and judge and fuck because that is what it means to be ( Read more... )

a physical analysis: he is a work of art. a clockwork orange meets the matrix, the blue black jackal. but i don't just mean artwork as he is beautiful, for he is undoubtedly, but a work of art in that he was sculpted by man. he appears man-made, not spurned from the earth in the burst of a flower seed starving for sun, but an unyielding mass of ( Read more... )

this is normal. i am human, after all, even though i deny it so much. and it's part of my flaws. i get too attached. but i figured it was okay to love a little here. i didn't realize what this would do to me. i feel like i did when emily died last winter. only....worse, well, before i was worse, but now its the same. even though the situation is ( Read more... )

so my birthday gifts and celebrations have come to a close. i received my gift from leigh, who was unable to come to my party- vampire tarot deck. with instructional booklet. its a lovely piece of work, i'll enjoy learning about that. my pleasure was dimmed a little bit just a few minutes ago though: the message "dear policemen, i am god" written ( Read more... )

well, this had to be one of the shittiest days of my entire life. i'm not even thinking about how it started- which was probably mediocre and i don't care about my mediocre/boring school day ( Read more... )

i was in a bad mood today. and that's pretty much the fuck of it. inconveniences occured last night (lj killed my fucking entry, the shower wasn't warm enough), i was tired, inconveniences occured this morning (breakfast was late), i was still tired, and the stress of schoolwork was bearing down like the devil himself. it got better, kind of. i ( Read more... )

i'm feeling rather rushed here. vidal has a school concert this evening in which i'm suppose to be going to i guess. i don't think i went to the last one. its not until 7 o'clock anyway. i have some homework to do, and other stuff i just planned on doing. and just before vidal fucking picked up the phone, kicking me off while i was in the middle of ( Read more... )