Why do I do this to myself?
So, my friend has been ignoring me for a while now. We share a room, but she's never here. I, being the good friend I am still attempt to do things with her when I do see her. Today we went to the dining hall for lunch, she didn't have her ID so I got her lunch. Then, she's got cramps so I got her a water to help with the bloating. Immediately after that, she leaves with one of the friends she continually ditches me for. Why do I do this? I knew she was going to go with him, I still basicallly kissed ass for the 45 minutes I actually spent with her. She promises she's going to return the favor, but she still owes me $10 for gas and $15 for a textbook, so what are the chances I'll ever get repaid for any of it? Slim to none. FML. I hate this. We moved in together because we didn't like our other roommates and now she's gone all the time. I'm just second best if the other friends are busy. I hate feeling like I have to fight to keep our friendship because I have no other friends on campus. It sucks. I wish I'd stayed with my horrible other roommate, at least then my friend wanted to spend time with me.
I know, "get active in something, make other friends, meet people, be less available for her, etc." but when you lose a friend like this it doesn't feel that easy. If it wasn't thrown in my face constantly that she doesn't give a fuck about me anymore, I probably wouldn't mind so much, but when she comes back to the room talking about her other friends and their plans and shit, it just sucks. It's like her standing there screaming "i have cooler friends than you, I don't need you anymore, gtfo of my life loser!" and I hate it. I don't deserve this, I didn't do anything to her. I have no fucking idea why she's being like this. She has to get sick of the other friends at some point, right? I mean, no one likes being around someone constantly. Or she has to wake up when midterm comes around and she's failing all her classes because she stays up till 3-4 AM and then misses classes most days, right? I mean, I don't know how she could NOT see the problem with that. She's paying for school herself, so it has to be important to her, right? UGH!
I know, "get active in something, make other friends, meet people, be less available for her, etc." but when you lose a friend like this it doesn't feel that easy. If it wasn't thrown in my face constantly that she doesn't give a fuck about me anymore, I probably wouldn't mind so much, but when she comes back to the room talking about her other friends and their plans and shit, it just sucks. It's like her standing there screaming "i have cooler friends than you, I don't need you anymore, gtfo of my life loser!" and I hate it. I don't deserve this, I didn't do anything to her. I have no fucking idea why she's being like this. She has to get sick of the other friends at some point, right? I mean, no one likes being around someone constantly. Or she has to wake up when midterm comes around and she's failing all her classes because she stays up till 3-4 AM and then misses classes most days, right? I mean, I don't know how she could NOT see the problem with that. She's paying for school herself, so it has to be important to her, right? UGH!