Damnit...

[digging_a_ditch]

Last weekend at church I saw someone I hadn't seen in quite a long time. It really messed with me. When I saw her it was like a plethora of different emotions came rushing at me like bats out of a cave. I didn't know what to say so I just acted like nothing was wrong. Man she looked great

Comments

[reiayanami676]

I was pretty much in the same situation you were in, Tim. And, this is assuming that she's not the girl from a few nights ago, it's a pain in the ass trying to get out what you want to say. However, something I've learned recently: don't talk about it. It's a lot better if you don't say what you're feeling if you're not in the relationship or if it's too early on. From a relationship perspective, it doesn't really do a whole lot. If you didn't win her heart then, it's not going to be now. And, from a closure perspective, it makes things feel worse. I know that sounds stupid, but I've experienced it twice, already.

Granted, I understand, wanting closure is a wonderful thing. I didn't have that. But, it tends to go away. Sorta. You don't really forget, though. It's not about forgetting or ignoring as closure. It's dealing with it that's part of closure. Try and appreciate it that it's part of your life and it might not be so hard for you.

Get over it

[fsufighter]

Okay dude, having a crush on someone who isn’t interested in you happens to just about everyone at one point or another. If she tells you she is coming out of a bad relationship that is understandable, but saying that she would only have one year for a relationship before leaving for college is a nice way of letting you down. Face the facts, she doesn’t like you and is not interested in you. However, she is not a mean person and didn’t want to be harsh about saying it. This is the part where you infer the point she is trying to get across and make the situation easier for both of you. You say “I come to find out later on that she's supposedly "forced" into a relationship with this guy.” Who told you that? I know “this guy”, he’s kind of a goofball but a genuinely good person and they are like peas and carrots. They have a normal relationship and if she were to say that she wasn’t interested in him, he would accept that and leave her alone in respect for her happiness and well-being. You need to take a lesson from him because it seems

Re: Get over it

[lizbobiz]

I understand the necessity of Rainey's comment. She needed to clear the air and definitely said some things that Tim needed to hear. It wasn't sugar-coated (which it certainly shouldn't have been), but nothing she said was deliberately hurtful or uncalled for.

This comment, however, is unnecessary. Where Rainey's comment was written with the intention of offering Tim some insight into her view of the situation, the writer of this comment seems only to have the intention of being cruel and hurtful.

Tim is obviously already hurting. He doesn't need a malicious opinion from someone who is clearly outside of the situation.

"I find your lack of faith disturbing"

[fsufighter]

First off, my intention was not to be hurtful or mean, but realistic. Sometimes life doesn't go your way and you have got to make due with what you have. Other times life just plain sucks. That's when its time to man up and deal with it. Also do you have any idea as to who I am? I didn't think so. How exactly then do you get off saying that I'm "clearly outside of the situation?" I know that my good friend is being hassled by some weirdo with delusions of grandeur and that I aim to stop him bothering her. If that entails a slightly harsh, albeit true reality check, so be it.

Re: "I find your lack of faith disturbing"

[lizbobiz]

I'm just wondering if you quoted Darth Vader on purpose, or just by accident.

So calling Tim names like weirdo, creep, and stalker is all in the intent of giving him a reality check? Because the concept of giving someone advice that contains those words is absurd to me. There are plenty of ways to give someone a "reality check" other than pushing them lower than they already are. That just makes you look bad.

Yes, we don't always get what we want in life, and yes, sometimes people do need to be reminded of that. But you, who doesn't even know Tim on such a level that your advice would be appreciated, don't need to take the initiative to throw the situation back in his face or offer him your blemished pearls of wisdom.

And just for clarification, my pointing out that you are obviously someone who is trying to involve himself in this situation by making it worse than it has to be, doesn't get me off.