Damnit...
Last weekend at church I saw someone I hadn't seen in quite a long time. It really messed with me. When I saw her it was like a plethora of different emotions came rushing at me like bats out of a cave. I didn't know what to say so I just acted like nothing was wrong. Man she looked great...
She was my senior prom date and we had an amazing time. She really acted like she was interested. And I felt like I could be completely myself around her the whole time.
A couple days after prom, we were having a conversation about how she felt like she didn't need a boyfriend simply because she was still coming out of a bad relationship, and at the end of the next school year she would be going off to college anyway. Both of them were very good points. But I had trouble agreeing with there's no point in a relationship in that time because I believe there's always that chance you could meet someone who just...completes you. In my experience (from what I've seen in my friends), if you meet that someone then you'll do anything to be with them. So why would you pass a chance for that up just because you think there's not enough time? At least...that's how I feel.
Anyway, after that long conversation where I practically poured my heart out to this girl, I come to find out later on that she's supposedly "forced" into a relationship with this guy. She told me that her heart wasn't really in it, but she didn't know how to let him know or even if she was going to. I told her just to do whatever she felt was right.
She's still dating him.
Now if you know me, I have a hard time letting go of anything. And with all of my attempts and rejections on top of it, it's just that much harder for me. I thought I was over it, until I saw her last Sunday.
I never knew if she actually had feelings for me. I never knew what exactly she was thinking. But I do know that I would like to find out. So I told her after mass that I wanted to talk to her about something.
I don't know if I'm making a huge mistake or not, but I just really feel like I need some closure to this if I even hope to have any kind of relationship with Maria.
I really hope I'm not just going and messing things up for myself again...
Musically,
Tim
She was my senior prom date and we had an amazing time. She really acted like she was interested. And I felt like I could be completely myself around her the whole time.
A couple days after prom, we were having a conversation about how she felt like she didn't need a boyfriend simply because she was still coming out of a bad relationship, and at the end of the next school year she would be going off to college anyway. Both of them were very good points. But I had trouble agreeing with there's no point in a relationship in that time because I believe there's always that chance you could meet someone who just...completes you. In my experience (from what I've seen in my friends), if you meet that someone then you'll do anything to be with them. So why would you pass a chance for that up just because you think there's not enough time? At least...that's how I feel.
Anyway, after that long conversation where I practically poured my heart out to this girl, I come to find out later on that she's supposedly "forced" into a relationship with this guy. She told me that her heart wasn't really in it, but she didn't know how to let him know or even if she was going to. I told her just to do whatever she felt was right.
She's still dating him.
Now if you know me, I have a hard time letting go of anything. And with all of my attempts and rejections on top of it, it's just that much harder for me. I thought I was over it, until I saw her last Sunday.
I never knew if she actually had feelings for me. I never knew what exactly she was thinking. But I do know that I would like to find out. So I told her after mass that I wanted to talk to her about something.
I don't know if I'm making a huge mistake or not, but I just really feel like I need some closure to this if I even hope to have any kind of relationship with Maria.
I really hope I'm not just going and messing things up for myself again...
Musically,
Tim