hello, there! the lady who sometimes says she's my typist says she's going to keep away a bit, so she can catch up on all her homework -- a good, scholarly pursuit i think! -- let's all wish her luck, then, and ( Read more... )

This moronic typist human says that she'll let me watch Hello Kitty if I do this making a post such as this is bound to cause insanity and since that is my job, I suppose I'm forced to agree to it. Thus, I pose you this question:

Which came first, the fruit or the colour orange?

Edit: By which I actually mean the colour orange, morons. Not the ( Read more... )

(clears his throat) Ha... um... hello. I, um, I'm Major Major Major. Well my first name is Major, as are my middle and last names. And I was promoted to Major recently... so that makes me Major Major Major Major. (sighs)

...

(realizes people are listening to him) What? Y-you said there wouldn't be anybody here! (opens his office window, hops out ( Read more... )

Hospital is more boring than I remember it being. Dunbar would have loved it. Anything is better than being in action (and that is out of the question, given my delicate condition. The doctor visited me again today, and my liver still hurts. It's too bad) but it's a shame all the nurses hate me. I haven't had any visitors either. Oh well. Most of ( Read more... )

*winces* *doubles over*

I have a pain in my liver, and a fever of 101. Oh no.

I'm going to the hospital.

T. S. ELIOT.
*does an internet thing analogous to slamming down a phone*

Typist: ex-P.F.C. Wintergreen from Catch-22. XD

Captain Yossarian, 28, Assyrian, bombardier for Squadron 256, based in Pianosa. I’m currently trying to finish flying my missions, and get away from all the bastards who are trying to kill me. This is pretty damn difficult when it encompasses almost everyone I know, and most of the people I don’t. Complete strangers try to shoot me; it’s crazy ( Read more... )