short update
Hello, very long time no post from me. Here are a few things going on in my life since the early spring:
I've been at my new synagogue job almost 6 months now. We're heading into review time and I always find those traumatic (at least once very literally, like, several years of therapy and I'm still twitchy over it), but I think I'm in a place where I not only really want to grow, but I actually CAN grow. I love my job, and people are letting me take ownership of it (and kind of massively reorder a lot of physical space in the building), and the IT committee got us all Office 2016/365 so I'm geeking out pretty much all the time, and I'm learning so much more about facilities management and project development and event planning than I ever thought I'd have the chance to.
Teaching is up in the air. Since I turned down some face to face classes last term, no one's sure whether I'm eligible for the online course in online course design that I need to get certified to actually teach any future online courses that may become available to me. I'm not positive I want to go forward with it either, but it feels wrong to let the opportunity go by. I've stayed afloat most of my adult life by latching on to opportunities that show themselves to me, even when they don't seem in line with my major goals. Maybe that's why I'm so scattered.
A part of me is curious what would happen if I abandoned teaching completely and just invested myself 100 percent in being an awesome office/facilities manager. Like, would I regret it down the line in some future where I can no longer work in an office? On the other hand, what would it be like not to be so over-committed?
This is going to sound weird after all that, but I actually do already have a second job. I'm driving a hotel shuttle to and from the airport weekends and some nights. It's to help make ends meet while I pay off a debt. That goes through December, but if I decide I can deal with it longer, I might keep it and work on a savings and my student loans.
I am liking the hotel and my coworkers, but the best part is knowing what I'm doing with my time. I've been looking for a pt job for months now, and the need for it made all my spare time kind of wrought with anxiety because I was always thinking about it. Now everything is handled, I have my hours in my calendar, and my free time feels like mine again, no matter that there's less of it. Whew.
June was sort of rough. I went on a trip for work, training in the CRM we use, and it happened to be in NJ, which gave me the chance to visit my uncle and my grandmother. For the rest of my life, I'll be grateful for that trip and the time it gave me with Nana. She passed away the following week. She was 95, and very ready to go, and it was the right thing; I can't imagine it was anything but a relief for her, and that she's with my grandfather again, finally, and all the relatives and friends who preceded her. My dad and uncle were with her as she left; you never saw more devoted sons. My sis who lives by me flew out for the funeral and by all accounts led it beautifully.
I did a rare thing and decided it would be better for my mental health to stay home than to go back to NJ, even though I would have liked to have been there for my dad and to see everyone. But I got to see her just the previous week, and she was different, but still beautiful and I felt like we connected where perhaps we hadn't always before. So in a way that was enough. And the last trip had felt sort of disruptive overall, and I knew this one would too, and my mood disorder was starting to do troubling things to my brain again. So I took the easier route and stayed home, and basically the whole rest of June and most of July (until the last two weeks) have been therapy and medication changes and trying to set things up so life is more manageable.
I want to do a post soon on productivity stuff I've learned on my recent foray into that world.
Someday I will talk about fandom on here again. /o\
This entry was originally posted at http://desertport.dreamwidth.org/189731.html.
A part of me is curious what would happen if I abandoned teaching completely and just invested myself 100 percent in being an awesome office/facilities manager. Like, would I regret it down the line in some future where I can no longer work in an office? On the other hand, what would it be like not to be so over-committed?
I am liking the hotel and my coworkers, but the best part is knowing what I'm doing with my time. I've been looking for a pt job for months now, and the need for it made all my spare time kind of wrought with anxiety because I was always thinking about it. Now everything is handled, I have my hours in my calendar, and my free time feels like mine again, no matter that there's less of it. Whew.
I did a rare thing and decided it would be better for my mental health to stay home than to go back to NJ, even though I would have liked to have been there for my dad and to see everyone. But I got to see her just the previous week, and she was different, but still beautiful and I felt like we connected where perhaps we hadn't always before. So in a way that was enough. And the last trip had felt sort of disruptive overall, and I knew this one would too, and my mood disorder was starting to do troubling things to my brain again. So I took the easier route and stayed home, and basically the whole rest of June and most of July (until the last two weeks) have been therapy and medication changes and trying to set things up so life is more manageable.
This entry was originally posted at http://desertport.dreamwidth.org/189731.html.