No Really, I'm Fine (7&8/12)
Title: No Really, I'm Fine (7&8/12)
Author: daydream4way
Beta: sammiturnmeon
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: NC-17 (overall)
Summary: Loosely based on the album No Really, I'm Fine by the Spill Canvas. It's the story of how Jack is completely, painfully in love with Alex, and how Alex's new relationship drives him over the edge. It's going to be quite a bit angsty and probably a little sad at times. Each chapter will be around 500 words, and will be titled after a different song on the album. So, as if it wasn't already obvious, you should really go listen to The Spill Canvas right now. That is all. Enjoy ;) PS. Comment!
MASTERPOST
Chapter Seven: Low Fidelity
"This is when I start to miss you more than I can bear. I hate this distance in between us, I don't think it's fair."
Jack misses the next few practices mostly because he can't decide who he's more angry at; Alex or himself. When Rian finally convinces him to go to practice, Jack keeps messing up on the new songs and Alex keeps rolling his eyes and mumbling extremely helpful words like 'unbelievable' and 'fucking pathetic', making Jack feel even less than useless.
When they reach the chorus, Jack messes up again, and can't seem to find the rhythm again.
"Seriously? Alex exclaims, "Did you even read the fucking sheet music?"
"Fuck you." Jack mutters, deciding he's definitely more pissed at Alex.
"Oh haven't you heard? Everyone has. Fucked me, that is. Apparently I'm the town bike. I have dicks coming at me from all directions. But you know what Jack? Somewhere in between all of that I managed to LEARN THE FUCKING SONG!!"
"Shut up Alex." Jack hears Rian say. Wow, Rian never gets involved. Alex looks at Rian like he's about to hit him, and honestly, nothing would surprise Jack anymore.
"You know what guys?" Jack finds himself saying, "I'm gonna call it a day. I obviously need more practice. I'm sure Collussy can fill in for me." Jack looks at Collussy and he just nods, a puzzled look on his face.
Rian looks from Alex to Jack and shakes his head. "Alright man, we'll see you at Zack's later for Grieco's surprise party right?"
Fuck. Jack completely forgot about that. He was planning to spend the night crying playing video games or something. "Yeah I'll swing by for a bit. I..." His words are cut off by Alex playing the guitar, obviously as pissed off at him as Jack is at himself.
Jack somehow manages to make it all the way home before he starts crying. What is he supposed to do without his best friend? All this time he had been afraid that telling Alex about his feelings would push him away, and in the end, he lost his best friend anyways.
Okay, maybe Alex had a point, Jack wasn’t the best guitar player in the world. But lately, he’s been having a hard time concentrating on playing, on anything, because all he can think about is Alex, and pathetic as that is, Jack can’t seem to stop it. And he said all of those horrible things to Alex because he was so hurt, hurt that his best friend thinks he’s pathetic. And worse, that he thinks he’s a useless member of the band.
Jack tries to take his mind off of Alex by watching a bunch of reality TV, but their problems seem minor in comparison to his. Around 10 o’clock, Jack decides that he should probably shower and change for Grieco’s party. Not that he’s even remotely interested in going.
Jack gets to the party around 11 and the first thing he sees is Alex and Jordan making out in the corner. Lovely. 'I'm not nearly drunk enough for this' thinks Jack, finding himself a bottle of JD and shooting back a huge gulp. He decides to go find Grieco, and say happy birthday so he can go the fuck home.
Chapter Eight: Bleed, Everyone's Doing It
"Nobody is immune to death, or the taste of our own ignorance."
Almost an hour later, Jack is so drunk he can barely stand up. He wobbles over to the couch and sits next to Rian. “RIIIIIIII-YANNNN. My man. My main man. Why couldn’t I be in love with you? You’re always so nice to me. And you’re teeth are soooo white.”
“Uh thanks? How much have you had to drink?” Rian asks, sounding way too much like Jack’s mom for his liking. Jack lifts up the almost empty bottle of JD and shows it to Rian.
“Not enough obviously!” He slurs, moving the bottle back to his mouth only to have it taken away by Rian. “Heeeeey that’s mine!” He pouts.
“Jack seriously, drinking isn’t going to make it better.” Jack turns to face Rian.
“Nothing is going to make it better Rian. I don’t even feel like living anymore.”
“That’s not true. Come on, you know you’ll get over this. Alex isn’t your whole life.”
“Except he is. I think I’m going to leave the band.” The decision seems to shock even Jack as he says it, but as soon as the words leave his lips, Rian can tell he means them.
“You don’t mean that. It’s the alcohol talking.”
“Mmmmm maybe but I don’t think so. I’m going to go find some more booze. See you later.” Jack gets up and goes to walk away, but turns back and says, “Hey Riiiiii-yannnnn, how do you get your teeth so white?”
“I brush them?” Rian says, confused. “Jack I don’t think more alcohol is really going to solve anything!” He tells him as he walks away. But Rian knows that this isn’t his mess to clean up, it’s Alex’s. And he decides it’s about time someone tells him that. He navigates the halls, trying to find his band-mate and tell him exactly what he thinks of the way he and Jack have been treating each other lately. He finally finds Alex playing beer pong with a couple of the Hey Monday guys.
“Alex hey, you need to talk to Jack.” Rian was using his ‘mom voice’ again, and nothing bothered Alex more than when Rian got serious.
“Fuck that he owes me the apology Rian.”
“I don’t care who owes whom an apology at this point. He’s not in a good place right now.”
“Yeah well I’m hurt too.” Alex was beyond hurt actually, he was broken. He never knew that his best friend thought he was a whore, a slut, pathetic.
“Not just that. He’s been having a hard time lately with some stuff. And now he’s talking about leaving the band.” “He wouldn’t.” What would he do with himself?
“Actually Alex, I think he would.” Well, fuck. Alex decides to go find Jack, demand an apology. He’s not sure whether he’s going to be able to put what was said behind them, but he’s going to try. Because although Jack wasn’t the best guitar player in the world, he was the best friend in the world, and Alex couldn’t stand to lose him.
Alex walks into the kitchen just in time to see Jack kissing Jordan. What the fuck?
He can’t decide whether to punch him in the face or just walk away, and when they stop kissing, Jack and Alex’s eyes meet. They hold their gaze for what feels like an eternity and neither of them says anything, although both have a million things on their mind. Jack is the first one to break eye contact, stumbling a little as he walks out of the kitchen and into Zack’s backyard.
Jordan walks up to Alex, “Alex, I’m sorry… I…”
“Oh, fuck off.” Alex declares, walking towards the backyard, when he is abruptly stopped by Rian.
“Whoa, you look like you’re about to murder someone.”
“I am Rian. I really fucking am.”
A/N: I dunno, these two chapters feel blehhh to me. I'm excited about the last few chapters though. Let me know what you think?