No Really, I'm Fine (1&2/12)
Title: No Really, I'm Fine (1&2/12)
Author: daydream4way
Beta: sammiturnmeon
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: NC-17 (overall)
Summary: Loosely based on the album No Really, I'm Fine by the Spill Canvas. It's the story of how Jack is completely, painfully in love with Alex, and how Alex's new relationship drives him over the edge. It's going to be quite a bit angsty and probably a little sad at times. Each chapter will be around 500 words, and will be titled after a different song on the album. So, as if it wasn't already obvious, you should really go listen to The Spill Canvas right now. That is all. Enjoy ;) PS. Comment!
Chapter One: All Over You
“In my day dreams, in my sleep, infatuation turning into disease.”
Jack turns on his computer to a new email from LiveJournal. One of the authors he follows uploaded a new story. Since he has some time before he’s needed for practice, and since he has been nursing a serious hard-on for atleast 20 minutes now, he decides to read the new story, and spend some much needed time alone in his bunk.
dearrosiecountmein posted a new story:
Title: My Heart Will Go On (and On) (NC-17)
Summary: Jack is madly in love with Alex and Alex is too stupid to notice it, but a series of events throws them together in an unexpected way.
This story sounds a little too close to home for Jack’s liking, so he scrolls down toward the end (which is where the smut is usually found). Honestly, he’s just not in the mood to read another one of his fans tell a story about how Jack and Alex overcome all obstacles and find themselves together in the end. Because they don’t, okay? They don’t.
Jack kisses Alex hard, shutting him up once and for all. “You talk too fucking much.” He says smugly, biting Alex’s neck. “It’s time I shut you up.”
“Hmm… how do you plan on doing that?” Alex starts kissing Jack’s neck.
“Mmm gonna fuck you?” He doesn’t say it as firmly as he would like, and Alex notices, pulling away from Jack’s neck to make eye contact with him.
“Jack, I love you. Nothing is ever going to change…”
Oh fuck no, Jack is not reading this. Scroll down. Scroll down.
Jack begins kissing down Alex’s chest, stopping right above his boxers. He bites the skin above Alex’s belly button before removing his boxers, and surrounding his penis with his mouth. He’s never given a blow job before, but hey, Alex isn’t complaining. He uses his hand to make up the space that his mouth can’t cover, and begins moving his head up and down in a way that he is sure looks ridiculous, but he doesn’t care, the sounds that are coming from Alex’s mouth are enough to make Jack unbelievably harder.
“Mmm fuck Jack, so goooooood. I’m so closeeeeee.” Alex moans, slightly thrusting his hips upwards, causing Jack to take him deeper than he thought was possible, and although it’s a little uncomfortable, he can tell Alex is almost done. He hums while bobbing his head, using his hands to cup Alex’s balls slightly, and seconds later, Alex is emptying himself into Jack’s mouth, grunting as he spills every last drop.
“Mmmm Jack, so gooood. Want you to fuck me. Need you to fuck me right now.” Alex says, almost incoherently as he plants a kiss on Jack’s jawline.
Jack doesn’t need to be asked twice. He slips on a condom and lubes up three fingers, inserting two right away, and scissoring them until he finds that spot that drives Alex insane. When Alex moans loudly, Jack takes that as his cue to insert the third finger, moving them over his prostate, causing the older boy to make noises that wouldn’t be out of place on the set of a porno.
“Jaaack. I’m goooood. Please. Need you. Inside meeee.” Alex almost begs. Jack of course, is more than happy to oblige. He coats his aching cock in lube and slowly enters Alex with one long thrust, careful to not move once he has fully entered.
“Are you okay?” Jack asks, knowing that Alex is probably going to need some time to get used to the intrusion.
“I feel fine Jack, moooove.” He begins thrusting into Alex with an almost violent need for more. After everything they’ve been through, to finally come to this moment, it’s enough to make Jack come on the spot, but no, he wants to last, for Alex. This night has to be perfect for both of them.
“Mmm Jack, not gonna last much looooonger.” Alex cries, causing Jack to thrust even faster, pumping Alex’s penis at an erratic rate. Seconds later, Alex is coming over his chest, causing his walls to tighten, and causing Jack to come desperately inside of Alex, marking the boy as his own forever.
Jack finishes his orgasm violently, spewing his seed all over himself and the computer screen again. Jack doesn’t know why he tortures himself by reading fan fiction. Sure, it’s nice while he’s jerking off silently in his bunk, but once his afterglow has worn off, Jack is left with a giant hole in his heart that he wishes his best friend could fill.
Everything was always easy for Alex. He knows what he wants and he goes for it, and you know what? Jack can't think of a time he hasn't gotten it. Jack never gets what (or maybe who) he wants. Ok, let’s be honest, Jack lives the life most people dream about, but despite the avid fans who hopelessly ship it, Jalex most certainly does not exist. And honestly, it makes Jack fucking miserable.
Jack used to think he was straight. He used to have a girlfriend. He dated a fucking playboy bunny! But really, he knows deep down he’s not entirely straight, because he’s completely in love with Alex. Which should be perfect, considering Alex is openly gay, but things don’t work like that for Jack. Jack is the epitome of everything Alex doesn’t want in a man. Alex goes for the slightly chubby, extremely tiny, blonde and hairless girly boys like Brian Dales and Bryce Avery. And Jack would be lying if he said he hasn’t wished (on more than one occasion) that he could be like those men, that he could be everything he wasn’t; everything Alex wanted. But he knew that would never happen.
Chapter Two: Battles
“It’s like a thousand paper-cuts soaked in vinegar; like the battles with yourself that leave you insecure.”
Alex opens the curtain to Jack’s bunk to find Jack scrolling a story on LiveJournal. “Jack, you pervert, is that fan fiction about us? That’s nasty.” He exclaims.
“I was… I…” Jack can't even think of an excuse. He just lets his words trail off and avoids eye contact with Alex, blushing.
“Chill.” He laughs. “I’ve read some. Our fans are pretty good writers. Even if their stories are completely sexually inaccurate.”
“Sexually inaccurate? How so?” Besides the obvious fact that Alex and Jack were not together.
"Well, first of all, I'm not usually a bottom. They always put me as the bottom." It’s true, Jack has wondered why he's always the one on top in these stories. In real gay relationships (which Jack has had exactly zero experience with) shouldn't the men do an equal amount of both?
He’s not entirely sure why he says it, it’s like someone has cut off the filter between his brain and his mouth; “well maybe with me you would be?”
“Well maybe, but then I'd never have sex with you anyways, obviously. And it's always me laying on my back gazing up into your big beautiful eyes. I never want men to look at me as I fuck them, or during the rare times that I do bottom.”
“Oh” is all Jack can manage to respond, because honestly, this conversation is just depressing the shit out of him. He really doesn’t want to hear about the many guys that Alex has slept with, or how Alex likes to fuck, and be fucked. He just really doesn’t.
“Yeah, you perv. Why are you even reading that stuff anyways?”
“I was just curious.” Jack can't think of a better excuse at the moment, and really, he's just ready for this conversation to be over.
“Bi-curious?” Alex asks, raising an eyebrow. “Ooh someone sound the alarm. Jack’s about to come out of the closet.”
“Oh ha ha.” Jack walks away quickly, brushing the tear that escapes his eye away almost quicker than it comes out.
He finds himself in the bathroom of the tour bus, trying not to take what Alex said personally. Maybe Alex would never sleep with him because he didn’t want to ruin their friendship. Maybe Alex didn’t think of Jack in that way because to him, Jack was completely straight. Yeah, or maybe Alex thought Jack was stupid, immature, hairy and too skinny. Basically the epitome of everything Alex has said he doesn’t want (about a million times, but hey, who’s counting?)
A/N: Masterpost can be found here. It’ll give you hints to the way the rest of the story is going to go. It’s going to be a completely different writing experience for me, I can already tell, so definitely let me know what you think so far.