Aha! I've been waiting...what day was it when you said "tonight I'll post"??
Once again, I feel as though my head is growing rather large; if it gets much bigger, surgical intervention might be necessary.
With multiple Fëanorians running around, I'm sure reduction measures can be arranged! ;)
"Friends don't let friends write Mary Sues"
Haha! I feel a new icon coming on...
And, on to the story!
Macalaurë’s palomino grabs a few mouthfuls of grass and Macalaurë jerks the reins. “Stop that, you lump,” he scolds.
Ha! Now this sounds familiar...
“I got a buck the other day that must have been at least thirty points,” says Lónango of the House of Iron.
Thirty, eh?? That must've been some buck!! Isn't average like, eight? Haha! And so very typical of males to exaggerate!
Okay, I don't think that Annawendë seems like a dreaded Mary Sue.
“Of course! I love working with him. He is an excellent teacher.” She nibbles at the cheese and swallows. “I know that he does not think of himself as such...This part seems a bit off to me. I get
( ... )
Aha! I've been waiting...what day was it when you said "tonight I'll post"??
Had to remind me, didn't you? ;)
Ha! Now this sounds familiar...
Is it any surprise that the majority of my riding experience came from Girl Scout camp? "Rented horses" should be all I need to say....
Okay, I don't think that Annawendë seems like a dreaded Mary Sue.
Yay! Thanks!
About the whole bit about Feanor and teaching and...all that :) I didn't like this line either. I think I even had it highlighted to delete it and left it in, simply because I wanted Annawende to be talking about something while Maitimo is ignoring her and worrying about his brother. I agree wholly with your suggestions, and they will be helpful in revising this part. I thank you very much!
Overall, I liked this chapter - as I always like all of your chapters :) - and I can't wait for more!
Thank you! Although, by the time we get to chapter 100, you'll probably be as tired of it all as I am.... ;)
ROTFLMAO!!Hehe. I can't help it. I can't have my Elves uptight. And Maitimo *
( ... )
Forget rented horses, all you had to say was "mares"! ;)
How about rented mares? As I recall, all the horses at Girl Scout camp were mares. ::shudders::
You're welcome. I thought maybe I had gotten too - what's that phrase you use? - rambly on that part! :)
I love rambly! I am rambly much of the time in writing and in speech and nothing makes me happier than to see a nice block of rambly comments!
I am amazed that that word has caught on the way it did :D All because I'm too lazy to look up correct English synonyms.
Only tired of having to wait!
Awww...thanks! I am tired of having to wait, too, if it makes you feel any better, for Mr. Attitude...I mean, Nelyafinwe Maitimo...to finish his damned chapter.
::glowers at Maitimo, who looks surprisingly innocent::
It is too much to copy and paste, but I love the long paragraph describing how Fëanor and Nerdanel would have reacted to the clearing and the dancing. It is so perfectly them.
Love the rumours of unexpected “weddings” and how you show that nobody actually knows anyone who that has happened to.
…so like my father I sound!I like this line, and not only because it’s about Fëanor. They way, throughout this piece, that you have shown a connection between Fëanor and his sons works very well, and I think it is important to help understand why they would follow him so steadfastly later on in life
( ... )
Love the rumours of unexpected “weddings” and how you show that nobody actually knows anyone who that has happened to.
Blame it on an education in social science and an interest in urban legends :) This would be, I suppose, the Elvish version of an urban legend, where the event is always slightly beyond what a person can confirm for his/herself. You know, "My brother's best friend's sister's hairdresser said she knew a woman whose daughter died of a toxic combination of Pop Rocks and Pepsi." Who can confirm that? But people believe it nonetheless.
Incidentally, there is an Urban Legends Challenge at HASA right now. I have a nuzgul latched onto my leg as we speak. It is tempting to try submitting this chapter, but I don't think that will quite dislodge it (as the original idea still begs to be written). Okay, I'm rambling.... :D
I think it is important to help understand why they would follow him so steadfastly later on in life.That was my whole point in
( ... )
Of course, no one ever knows anyone who married in such a manner, and certainly no one knows anyone who was begotten as such
Very nineteenth century! And very LaCE too - no one talks about it, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen.
I like Maglor acting as matchmaker.
I don't think Annawende is in much danger of becoming a Mary-Sue, apart from the obvious romance-with-a-canon-character thing! If anything, you're in danger of going too far the other way by emphasising how ordinary-looking she is, particularly since this chapter is from Maedhros's PoV.
Very nineteenth century! And very LaCE too - no one talks about it, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen.
I am waiting for someone to point out that my Elves are not behaving Elvishly enough on this point :) It is my personal belief that Elves Maitimo's age would have gone through some kind of puberty with the raging hormones--of course, not as extreme as Edain do--that explains why so many of them wed around their fiftieth begetting day.
And, of course, at its core, this story is really just an urban legend, as I replied to arandil13 above.
I don't think Annawende is in much danger of becoming a Mary-Sue....
Good! :D
If anything, you're in danger of going too far the other way by emphasising how ordinary-looking she is, particularly since this chapter is from Maedhros's PoV.What I am trying to convey--and I don't feel as though I have captured this as well as I could--is that Maitimo's common sense tells him that Annawende is not a pretty girl and probably not a suitable wife for someone of his stature. Nonetheless, he is inexplicably
( ... )
I am waiting for someone to point out that my Elves are not behaving Elvishly enough on this point
Which I would have done, but I knew you'd already have a perfectly good reason for it, so I didn't bother, and it would be rather hypocritical coming from me anyway.
Maitimo's common sense tells him that Annawende is not a pretty girl and probably not a suitable wife for someone of his stature
He does think far more than the normal human seventeen-year-old would do in that situation!
he should marry a daughter of a lord or king
So do you think that the Elves have a rigid class system, and would be expected to associate (and marry) only with others of their own class and backgroud?
No, I don't think that the Elves had a rigid class system :) Feanor married Nerdanel, after all, and we're not told of any scandal associated with that. But enough "royal" Elves marry other royal Elves that it makes me wonder if the encouragement was there, even in the sense that they were prodded into associating mainly with others who has status in the court
( ... )
My problem with most Mary Sues is one of characterization. I do not like wholly perfect characters. I do not like wholly *imperfect* characters either, but wholly perfect characters drive me completely nuts. I cannot relate to such stories because no one is that perfect in real life; I cannot empathize with one-dimensional characters.
This is not to say that my own characterization is perfect, of course :) But I would list characterization as the number one thing that draws me into and makes me love a story. My opinion, of course!
My understanding of a "Mary Sue" is a character who is one-dimensional in the sense that she is absolutely and impeccably perfect. Perhaps I am incorrect in this perception; I am new to the Tolkien writing community, after all, and there are not a lot of Mary Sues in Silmarillion fiction. I have no problem with girls falling into Middle-earth or falling in love with Legolas--I only ask that they be *real* characters and not someone opening a Perfect Princess in a Can and plopping her into their story
( ... )
Comments 53
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Have you read Chapters one through six? Have you even read The Silmarillion?
You must be lost....
Happy birthday, by the way! :D
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Thanks!
Reply
I never knew this! I am an absolute Silmaniac. (Can you tell? :P)
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Once again, I feel as though my head is growing rather large; if it gets much bigger, surgical intervention might be necessary.
With multiple Fëanorians running around, I'm sure reduction measures can be arranged! ;)
"Friends don't let friends write Mary Sues"
Haha! I feel a new icon coming on...
And, on to the story!
Macalaurë’s palomino grabs a few mouthfuls of grass and Macalaurë jerks the reins. “Stop that, you lump,” he scolds.
Ha! Now this sounds familiar...
“I got a buck the other day that must have been at least thirty points,” says Lónango of the House of Iron.
Thirty, eh?? That must've been some buck!! Isn't average like, eight? Haha! And so very typical of males to exaggerate!
Okay, I don't think that Annawendë seems like a dreaded Mary Sue.
“Of course! I love working with him. He is an excellent teacher.” She nibbles at the cheese and swallows. “I know that he does not think of himself as such...This part seems a bit off to me. I get ( ... )
Reply
Had to remind me, didn't you? ;)
Ha! Now this sounds familiar...
Is it any surprise that the majority of my riding experience came from Girl Scout camp? "Rented horses" should be all I need to say....
Okay, I don't think that Annawendë seems like a dreaded Mary Sue.
Yay! Thanks!
About the whole bit about Feanor and teaching and...all that :) I didn't like this line either. I think I even had it highlighted to delete it and left it in, simply because I wanted Annawende to be talking about something while Maitimo is ignoring her and worrying about his brother. I agree wholly with your suggestions, and they will be helpful in revising this part. I thank you very much!
Overall, I liked this chapter - as I always like all of your chapters :) - and I can't wait for more!
Thank you! Although, by the time we get to chapter 100, you'll probably be as tired of it all as I am.... ;)
ROTFLMAO!!Hehe. I can't help it. I can't have my Elves uptight. And Maitimo * ( ... )
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Forget rented horses, all you had to say was "mares"! ;)
I thank you very much!
You're welcome. I thought maybe I had gotten too - what's that phrase you use? - rambly on that part! :)
Although, by the time we get to chapter 100, you'll probably be as tired of it all as I am
Only tired of having to wait!
And Maitimo *does* love embarrassing his brother!
Don't we all?!
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How about rented mares? As I recall, all the horses at Girl Scout camp were mares. ::shudders::
You're welcome. I thought maybe I had gotten too - what's that phrase you use? - rambly on that part! :)
I love rambly! I am rambly much of the time in writing and in speech and nothing makes me happier than to see a nice block of rambly comments!
I am amazed that that word has caught on the way it did :D All because I'm too lazy to look up correct English synonyms.
Only tired of having to wait!
Awww...thanks! I am tired of having to wait, too, if it makes you feel any better, for Mr. Attitude...I mean, Nelyafinwe Maitimo...to finish his damned chapter.
::glowers at Maitimo, who looks surprisingly innocent::
Reply
*snicker* There’s that “height” thing again…
It is too much to copy and paste, but I love the long paragraph describing how Fëanor and Nerdanel would have reacted to the clearing and the dancing. It is so perfectly them.
Love the rumours of unexpected “weddings” and how you show that nobody actually knows anyone who that has happened to.
…so like my father I sound!I like this line, and not only because it’s about Fëanor. They way, throughout this piece, that you have shown a connection between Fëanor and his sons works very well, and I think it is important to help understand why they would follow him so steadfastly later on in life ( ... )
Reply
Dammit! I keep doing that! :D
Love the rumours of unexpected “weddings” and how you show that nobody actually knows anyone who that has happened to.
Blame it on an education in social science and an interest in urban legends :) This would be, I suppose, the Elvish version of an urban legend, where the event is always slightly beyond what a person can confirm for his/herself. You know, "My brother's best friend's sister's hairdresser said she knew a woman whose daughter died of a toxic combination of Pop Rocks and Pepsi." Who can confirm that? But people believe it nonetheless.
Incidentally, there is an Urban Legends Challenge at HASA right now. I have a nuzgul latched onto my leg as we speak. It is tempting to try submitting this chapter, but I don't think that will quite dislodge it (as the original idea still begs to be written). Okay, I'm rambling.... :D
I think it is important to help understand why they would follow him so steadfastly later on in life.That was my whole point in ( ... )
Reply
Very nineteenth century! And very LaCE too - no one talks about it, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen.
I like Maglor acting as matchmaker.
I don't think Annawende is in much danger of becoming a Mary-Sue, apart from the obvious romance-with-a-canon-character thing! If anything, you're in danger of going too far the other way by emphasising how ordinary-looking she is, particularly since this chapter is from Maedhros's PoV.
Reply
I am waiting for someone to point out that my Elves are not behaving Elvishly enough on this point :) It is my personal belief that Elves Maitimo's age would have gone through some kind of puberty with the raging hormones--of course, not as extreme as Edain do--that explains why so many of them wed around their fiftieth begetting day.
And, of course, at its core, this story is really just an urban legend, as I replied to arandil13 above.
I don't think Annawende is in much danger of becoming a Mary-Sue....
Good! :D
If anything, you're in danger of going too far the other way by emphasising how ordinary-looking she is, particularly since this chapter is from Maedhros's PoV.What I am trying to convey--and I don't feel as though I have captured this as well as I could--is that Maitimo's common sense tells him that Annawende is not a pretty girl and probably not a suitable wife for someone of his stature. Nonetheless, he is inexplicably ( ... )
Reply
Which I would have done, but I knew you'd already have a perfectly good reason for it, so I didn't bother, and it would be rather hypocritical coming from me anyway.
Maitimo's common sense tells him that Annawende is not a pretty girl and probably not a suitable wife for someone of his stature
He does think far more than the normal human seventeen-year-old would do in that situation!
he should marry a daughter of a lord or king
So do you think that the Elves have a rigid class system, and would be expected to associate (and marry) only with others of their own class and backgroud?
Reply
Reply
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This is not to say that my own characterization is perfect, of course :) But I would list characterization as the number one thing that draws me into and makes me love a story. My opinion, of course!
My understanding of a "Mary Sue" is a character who is one-dimensional in the sense that she is absolutely and impeccably perfect. Perhaps I am incorrect in this perception; I am new to the Tolkien writing community, after all, and there are not a lot of Mary Sues in Silmarillion fiction. I have no problem with girls falling into Middle-earth or falling in love with Legolas--I only ask that they be *real* characters and not someone opening a Perfect Princess in a Can and plopping her into their story ( ... )
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(The comment has been removed)
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