Aha! I've been waiting...what day was it when you said "tonight I'll post"??
Once again, I feel as though my head is growing rather large; if it gets much bigger, surgical intervention might be necessary.
With multiple Fëanorians running around, I'm sure reduction measures can be arranged! ;)
"Friends don't let friends write Mary Sues"
Haha! I feel a new icon coming on...
And, on to the story!
Macalaurë’s palomino grabs a few mouthfuls of grass and Macalaurë jerks the reins. “Stop that, you lump,” he scolds.
Ha! Now this sounds familiar...
“I got a buck the other day that must have been at least thirty points,” says Lónango of the House of Iron.
Thirty, eh?? That must've been some buck!! Isn't average like, eight? Haha! And so very typical of males to exaggerate!
Okay, I don't think that Annawendë seems like a dreaded Mary Sue.
“Of course! I love working with him. He is an excellent teacher.” She nibbles at the cheese and swallows. “I know that he does not think of himself as such...
This part seems a bit off to me. I get the impression that Fëanor would be just as proud of his teaching as he was of anything else. Also, and this is just my opinion, based on several things, but "loving" to work with Fëanor seems a little too strong. In my mind, Fëanor would be a hard guy to work with, though undoubtedly one would learn tons. And it would probably be worth it. I just think that Fëanor would have the tendency to be very demanding of his students, and that at times the pressure would be somewhat stressful. I personally think "I am honored to be working with him" would have been a better phrase. That way, you know Annawendë wouldn't change being Fëanor's apprentice, but it leaves it more open ended. The phrase "I love working with him" leads this reader to believe that an apprenticeship with Fëanor is like a walk in the proverbial park. I would imagine that, while the experience as a whole would be a good one and a beneficial one, there would be some days where you would just want to scream! Of course, this is just my opinion.
Overall, I liked this chapter - as I always like all of your chapters :) - and I can't wait for more!
"You are suggesting that Ada capture an orgasm in stone?"
Aha! I've been waiting...what day was it when you said "tonight I'll post"??
Had to remind me, didn't you? ;)
Ha! Now this sounds familiar...
Is it any surprise that the majority of my riding experience came from Girl Scout camp? "Rented horses" should be all I need to say....
Okay, I don't think that Annawendë seems like a dreaded Mary Sue.
Yay! Thanks!
About the whole bit about Feanor and teaching and...all that :) I didn't like this line either. I think I even had it highlighted to delete it and left it in, simply because I wanted Annawende to be talking about something while Maitimo is ignoring her and worrying about his brother. I agree wholly with your suggestions, and they will be helpful in revising this part. I thank you very much!
Overall, I liked this chapter - as I always like all of your chapters :) - and I can't wait for more!
Thank you! Although, by the time we get to chapter 100, you'll probably be as tired of it all as I am.... ;)
ROTFLMAO!!
Hehe. I can't help it. I can't have my Elves uptight. And Maitimo *does* love embarrassing his brother!
Thanks for reading and for the comments, as always :) ::hugs::
Forget rented horses, all you had to say was "mares"! ;)
How about rented mares? As I recall, all the horses at Girl Scout camp were mares. ::shudders::
You're welcome. I thought maybe I had gotten too - what's that phrase you use? - rambly on that part! :)
I love rambly! I am rambly much of the time in writing and in speech and nothing makes me happier than to see a nice block of rambly comments!
I am amazed that that word has caught on the way it did :D All because I'm too lazy to look up correct English synonyms.
Only tired of having to wait!
Awww...thanks! I am tired of having to wait, too, if it makes you feel any better, for Mr. Attitude...I mean, Nelyafinwe Maitimo...to finish his damned chapter.
::glowers at Maitimo, who looks surprisingly innocent::
Once again, I feel as though my head is growing rather large; if it gets much bigger, surgical intervention might be necessary.
With multiple Fëanorians running around, I'm sure reduction measures can be arranged! ;)
"Friends don't let friends write Mary Sues"
Haha! I feel a new icon coming on...
And, on to the story!
Macalaurë’s palomino grabs a few mouthfuls of grass and Macalaurë jerks the reins. “Stop that, you lump,” he scolds.
Ha! Now this sounds familiar...
“I got a buck the other day that must have been at least thirty points,” says Lónango of the House of Iron.
Thirty, eh?? That must've been some buck!! Isn't average like, eight? Haha! And so very typical of males to exaggerate!
Okay, I don't think that Annawendë seems like a dreaded Mary Sue.
“Of course! I love working with him. He is an excellent teacher.” She nibbles at the cheese and swallows. “I know that he does not think of himself as such...
This part seems a bit off to me. I get the impression that Fëanor would be just as proud of his teaching as he was of anything else. Also, and this is just my opinion, based on several things, but "loving" to work with Fëanor seems a little too strong. In my mind, Fëanor would be a hard guy to work with, though undoubtedly one would learn tons. And it would probably be worth it. I just think that Fëanor would have the tendency to be very demanding of his students, and that at times the pressure would be somewhat stressful. I personally think "I am honored to be working with him" would have been a better phrase. That way, you know Annawendë wouldn't change being Fëanor's apprentice, but it leaves it more open ended. The phrase "I love working with him" leads this reader to believe that an apprenticeship with Fëanor is like a walk in the proverbial park. I would imagine that, while the experience as a whole would be a good one and a beneficial one, there would be some days where you would just want to scream! Of course, this is just my opinion.
Overall, I liked this chapter - as I always like all of your chapters :) - and I can't wait for more!
"You are suggesting that Ada capture an orgasm in stone?"
ROTFLMAO!!
Reply
Had to remind me, didn't you? ;)
Ha! Now this sounds familiar...
Is it any surprise that the majority of my riding experience came from Girl Scout camp? "Rented horses" should be all I need to say....
Okay, I don't think that Annawendë seems like a dreaded Mary Sue.
Yay! Thanks!
About the whole bit about Feanor and teaching and...all that :) I didn't like this line either. I think I even had it highlighted to delete it and left it in, simply because I wanted Annawende to be talking about something while Maitimo is ignoring her and worrying about his brother. I agree wholly with your suggestions, and they will be helpful in revising this part. I thank you very much!
Overall, I liked this chapter - as I always like all of your chapters :) - and I can't wait for more!
Thank you! Although, by the time we get to chapter 100, you'll probably be as tired of it all as I am.... ;)
ROTFLMAO!!
Hehe. I can't help it. I can't have my Elves uptight. And Maitimo *does* love embarrassing his brother!
Thanks for reading and for the comments, as always :) ::hugs::
Reply
Forget rented horses, all you had to say was "mares"! ;)
I thank you very much!
You're welcome. I thought maybe I had gotten too - what's that phrase you use? - rambly on that part! :)
Although, by the time we get to chapter 100, you'll probably be as tired of it all as I am
Only tired of having to wait!
And Maitimo *does* love embarrassing his brother!
Don't we all?!
Reply
How about rented mares? As I recall, all the horses at Girl Scout camp were mares. ::shudders::
You're welcome. I thought maybe I had gotten too - what's that phrase you use? - rambly on that part! :)
I love rambly! I am rambly much of the time in writing and in speech and nothing makes me happier than to see a nice block of rambly comments!
I am amazed that that word has caught on the way it did :D All because I'm too lazy to look up correct English synonyms.
Only tired of having to wait!
Awww...thanks! I am tired of having to wait, too, if it makes you feel any better, for Mr. Attitude...I mean, Nelyafinwe Maitimo...to finish his damned chapter.
::glowers at Maitimo, who looks surprisingly innocent::
Reply
Oh, that is bad!
I am tired of having to wait, too, if it makes you feel any better, for Mr. Attitude...I mean, Nelyafinwe Maitimo...to finish his damned chapter.
Haha! It must be a Feanorian thing.
Reply
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