I'm having a discussion online even as we speak. I have a friend bringing me her problems as a cat might bring one a dead mouse, as though I am supposed to be pleased by the gesture. I offer her a sip of knowledge from my infinite well of wisdom, and yet she spits it out at me, unswallowed, like the most vile cup of poison ( Read more... )

A couple of days ago, voodooskeleton and I were talking on Skype about how particular she was about her washroom habits, and how many brands of toilet paper had failed to live up to her exacting specifications for softness, pliability, and perhaps some other more obscure criteria for anal-wiping excellence.

She related to me that Contonelle, ultimately, was the ( Read more... )

The other day I told the first part of my encounter with a christian revival tent rally, and one of the believers there. Today, let me tell you about the latter half of my evening there.

As the evening went on, there were a number of speakers interspersed between the songs. Lay people, so far as I could tell, who were giving their “testamonials” ( Read more... )

So, as promised, I attended the Freaky Weirdo Brand Deluxe Christians’ tent rally on Saturday.

I had never attended one of these events before and really, really did not know what to expect. It was a relatively small and unspectacular affair, as I had expected it to be; I doubt there was more than twenty-five people present (aside from the eight ( Read more... )

So, last night, I was at work, when I see some fellow waiting anxiously in the lobby. I didn't know him, but greeted him anyways. He asked how I was doing ("Cold, but well enough otherwise, I suppose", I responded), and asked him how he was ( Read more... )

A conversation I had with my friend Ray yesterday - yes, two posts in one day based upon yesterday's conversations; we're talkative guys - recounted in part here, and with me maybe misrepresenting Ray slightly for comedic effect.

I'm sure he understands.

Me: "RENTING movies is for pussies; people who are to weak and cowardly to commit to the purchase!"

(Spoken to my friends Ray and Kyndra as we browsed the racks at HMV)

Ray: “I’m going to get some utensils to eat with.”

Me: “Because you are a lady, and don’t wish to soil your dainty fingers with chicken flesh.”

Ray: “A really manly and awesome sort of lady!”

Me: “Such as one with a penis?”

Ray: “I was going to say one that likes to fuck other ladies... with her dick.”

Me: “So, a hermaphrodite, then?”

Ray: “ ( Read more... )

Some years ago, my friend Paul was visiting Vancouver, and he and I found ourselves at my best friend BJ's place. We were having a fairly weighty discussion about morality and government, revolving around whether a government ought to have a greater responsibility to its people or to the cause of justice as a whole, and what, ultimately, one ought ( Read more... )

My best friend BJ is over at my place, and we had one of our characteristic screaming matches just now. About gum. because BJ is a son of a bitch about that shit, and he doesn't treat a man with the respect he deserves in his own house.

BJ: "Where's my gum!?!"
Me: "I've got gum right here, you son of a bitch!"
BJ: "No, I want MY gum!"
Me: "It's my ( Read more... )