the SSRI's are bothering me today. I look at the stupid little pill (I take it only for the xanex prescription these days, which I hardly take anyway). Is it better to feel too much or nothing at all? I'm contemplative and quiet- these are not my traits, this is not my lifestyle, nor any aspirations for future use ( Read more... )

seriously, feels like I'm heading for a disaster! why did I suggest a movie? wait, I know, I'm a cheap bastardo who likes to score on the freebies- no pun intended or illuded that that's how I am on a first date. Wait, most of you know I'm not like that so no worries. Giddy? that doesn't describe the anxiousness I'm heading for, I totally ( Read more... )

God I can barely type, feel like ass. No one loves me- thank goddess for that. I really must have fallen hard last night- ass hurts like shit. BTW, I'm still drunk. whomever got me up was a blessing...

i shouldn't be here

( Read more... )

There is a sad, sad place of void and emotional feeling (past due, beyond being soggy) it lies sooo deep in most of us most of us never have the grief to visit such a place so deep inside. I'm not there by any means, but I know what it's like. been there only one time myself, took the straight ticket there, came really close to staying. I ( Read more... )

This week marks reflection week, it may look like I'm moping around the house, doing absolutely nothing, and afraid to go out. it's not that bad in the slightest, I promise. just need to take a week to clear my head of all that makes me sad, do my rituals, work on simple things like smiling and meaning it. mike really tore my shit up mentally- ( Read more... )

have you ever had a really good massage? fully relaxing, but constructive at the same time? there was this guy near Crowley that Lee hooked me up with big time. amazing therapist that would do full body, but after you started to see him more frequently he would advance his techniques. he had this process, where he would take your leg, for ( Read more... )

owwwwww, last night hurt something fierce. nobody should ever consider talking to the mad fool that stands before you, no one. I'm a complete obstacle. aparently, I talked about music with someone last night, and making music with them? they emailed me today, i had to do the awful girl thing of who are you? where did I meet you? thing. ( Read more... )

the day is not for the lonely, it has no place for memories- thought provoking hang ups are simply discards of time. It's right up there with putting on a lot of additional make-up just to ensure he notices you, he doesn't- stop trying so hard. The more you think and fetter on something doesn't make it real, even if it's put into print. Still ( Read more... )

awwww so many stories, personalities- some serious, some not, some stoned ( Read more... )