and I'm a mile away from home...
I... don't know what to do. I actually got used to the not having drama thing, and then all of a sudden there was. And, I don't know what to do. I don't know how to respond... I'm so... worried.
This is the first time I've actually heard the words "I just don't wanna talk right now." from this person. And... I was floored. Rather, I think I ended up in the 3rd basement of the Detroit train depot, it was that shocking.
And I didn't know how to help. I thought I could. I thought I could say something, I thought maybe I could say something to help and... nothing. And it terrifies me.
Tonight's my last night online. We go back to Grandma's tomorrow (Susan, if you're free this weekend, we should see about hanging out sometime!) and... I just, don't know what to do. It's not like the internet is the only way to get a hold of the person, because it isn't. But....
I'm just scared. All of a sudden, it's like... everything is unsure again and I don't like it. I was actually getting used to familiarity and whatnot. And, all of a sudden it's like... nothing.
I don't like it :\
I don't know what to do... I'm scared.
And, I don't know what I'm scared of either. *sigh*
So, this is kind of basically an entry just to vent I suppose, because being the stupid person I am, I didn't bring my red book with me down here. And I... just don't know what to do. I'm terrified and I hate it.
I'm crying out to God (silently, internally of course, considering my entire FAMILY is around me -eww) but, I'm crying out and wishing I could do something. Wishing I could wrap said person in my arms and kiss them and tell them everything will be okay. I want to chase all their fears away and help them to smile again, and I can't.
So, of course, this makes me feel useless, because I can't help at all. It really sucks when I want nothing more than TO help.*sigh* I'm gonna go lay in my bed of pain now. And lose myself in my sad songs I've got with me, hoping sleep will somehow make things better.
This is the first time I've actually heard the words "I just don't wanna talk right now." from this person. And... I was floored. Rather, I think I ended up in the 3rd basement of the Detroit train depot, it was that shocking.
And I didn't know how to help. I thought I could. I thought I could say something, I thought maybe I could say something to help and... nothing. And it terrifies me.
Tonight's my last night online. We go back to Grandma's tomorrow (Susan, if you're free this weekend, we should see about hanging out sometime!) and... I just, don't know what to do. It's not like the internet is the only way to get a hold of the person, because it isn't. But....
I'm just scared. All of a sudden, it's like... everything is unsure again and I don't like it. I was actually getting used to familiarity and whatnot. And, all of a sudden it's like... nothing.
I don't like it :\
I don't know what to do... I'm scared.
And, I don't know what I'm scared of either. *sigh*
So, this is kind of basically an entry just to vent I suppose, because being the stupid person I am, I didn't bring my red book with me down here. And I... just don't know what to do. I'm terrified and I hate it.
I'm crying out to God (silently, internally of course, considering my entire FAMILY is around me -eww) but, I'm crying out and wishing I could do something. Wishing I could wrap said person in my arms and kiss them and tell them everything will be okay. I want to chase all their fears away and help them to smile again, and I can't.
So, of course, this makes me feel useless, because I can't help at all. It really sucks when I want nothing more than TO help.*sigh* I'm gonna go lay in my bed of pain now. And lose myself in my sad songs I've got with me, hoping sleep will somehow make things better.