It has been more than two months. I thought it would pass by. I thought that after having the time to confront myself, I would feel better. I thought stress was doing this to. Well, stress and loneliness -I like to keep it real with myself-. Here I am in bed at 4am, wide awake and thinking about jumping off my balcony. What is sad about this is, it ( Read more... )

I can feel it. It's hovering around the edges, waiting for the right moment to add a little more emptiness into the pile. A pile of pain that I have slightly forgotten about. It's funny because it's the only thing that is so attached to me that it wants to come back; to penetrate my mind, my soul, my body; me, its rightful place. It's been closing ( Read more... )

I think of people as peaches... 3 layers, exocarp; how they are around strangers, mesocarp; how they are around friends, and endocarp; who they really are. Then, there is me, is there a fruit with 4 layers? Let me explain, around strangers I am that collected, quiet, confident person. They get to know me a little, then I become that passionate, ( Read more... )

Have you ever felt nothing? Like nothing at all? When you don't even feel sad or mad anymore. You try, you want to be angry but you can't, because at that moment you realise you can't feel anything ( Read more... )

I am only human. sometimes I lose sight of who I am, who I want to be, and what I want. Sometimes I get so drowned in my own shit, I doubt if I will ever survive this. But then, I read those stories about abused children, abusive fathers, who hurt their children physically, hell they even torture them sometimes, and I think "I don't have it so bad ( Read more... )

Nothing. I feel nothing. I think I should be sad or angry but I don't feel anything ( Read more... )

It's crazy.. Everything feels crazy.. I have always been careless, blowing away studies and shit, but I think I hit rock bottom a year ago.. When I lost all hope.. I was careless to the point where I blew off 3 courses and gotten F in all of them. This course though, I had my hope restored.. I decided that I am going to compensate all the wasted ( Read more... )

Hi. I am writing this so I can look busy in front of this guy if he passes by me again. See, I think I really like him... I mean, I would definitely love to kiss him and press his body against mine.. That means I like him, right ( Read more... )

Today, my sister was told that she and I should be locked in a barrel, and then killed, without people knowing anything about it, because of our thoughts. It was my father who told her this. I am speechless. I have always known that me reading bothered him, and that our thrust for knowledge and changed put him through excruciating mental pain. For ( Read more... )

Sadness is such a state to be in, don't you think? I don't know if there is something wrong with me or it is nature how I love to pain myself. Some people rest to physical pain, like cutting, I honestly do not think that is satisfying; I need to feel that emotional pain, whether it was heartbreak, loneliness, abandonship (I don't care if that is ( Read more... )