You're a peach!
I think of people as peaches... 3 layers, exocarp; how they are around strangers, mesocarp; how they are around friends, and endocarp; who they really are. Then, there is me, is there a fruit with 4 layers? Let me explain, around strangers I am that collected, quiet, confident person. They get to know me a little, then I become that passionate, wise, really kind person. Around friends, I am that person who doesn't know what to want, who is always sad with no reason but really nice unless pissed off by something. Then, there is me, the endocarp, the core. What am I or who am I? I no longer know. Sometimes I wonder if I really am as "friends" see me, if I am really just confused and sad. Except, I know part of what I want, or I am pretty sure of one thing that I want, and I can't have that thing here, around those people I call family and friends. See, I might be seen as confused and sad, but that is only because there is no one else inside my head other than me, and I don't talk. so those people who see me confused don't know the whole truth, because I give them pieces, the pieces that won't get me in trouble. I am not saying I am not a little confused, I am not saying I don't know what I want either. They call me unrealistic, when they hear me talk about what I want to do, because I want to do things they don't approve of here. They say I have to face reality, I have to give up my silly little dreams, and accept what I am given here. I am supposed to work in an office, give my father part of my salary and be happy it is not worse. Of course, I can start a small business of my own, without people knowing its me who owns the business, or they would talk. I am supposed to be grateful, grateful to have been born in a place where I am not allowed to think or talk, I am not even allowed to go out with my friends! I am not hateful, I do believe these things build who you are, but I am not grateful, no, I am not grateful I get bullied by my parents, by my family, I am not grateful to being seen as a demented person because I use that thing called a brain. I am grateful I am not in a worse place, I am grateful I haven't been abused physically, but I have been abused, all my life. I could have been a better human being, I could have accomplished so much by now if I wasn't surrounded by poisonous, lazy, mindless people. So sorry I don't see just how great those people are, people who do nothing than take money and spend it, people who think of none other than themselves. So I guess my endocarp is the 3 previous layers and a little more no one knows about but me.