It was a dark and stormy night.  My heart was filled with blackened wax oozing from soul into my veins.  Who could ever love such a despicable heap of empty being?  There she was..... a little pink fairy.  Fluttering in the moonlight.  Is she flying to me?  Will she save me from the doom seeping through my pores and infiltrating the layers of my ( Read more... )

you know, i think my brother is more broken over what happened than i am. i think he's tearing himself apart, and not just because of what happened, but because of everything. consumed by guilt and inadequacy. i wish i could tell him it's not his doing. we were born to the wrong mother. that's all. he's still my big brother, and i want to save him ( Read more... )

Fire alarm went off in the chowhall. I had to leave my pie behind.

waited too long, tread too carefully. filled with sorrow, a hint of failure, but more than a touch grateful and still happy. don't know the depths. so maybe someday, maybe. i never give up entirely, better believe it.

and that's that nothing to do with any of you. don't ask because i don't know.

i'm totally going on a date tonight.

his name is jack, he's a little short, but dark and handsome, fairly kickass, last name is daniels. we're going to go somewhere cold and quiet and watch the stars. if there are any.

for whatever reason i'm lacking proper angstful cynicism this holiday, but for tradition's sake i'm going to indulge in a little ( Read more... )

concert was a lot of fun. there was a harpist. i sight read one piece that somehow i'd never gotten or played at any rehearsal before. luckily it was an easy piece, a bunch of classic christmas songs mushed into eachother. the audience sang along, it was the last piece. we all wore blue bowties. took myself to dinner afterwards. didn't feel like ( Read more... )

wahh, how pathetic i feel! angstful and abandoned and retarded...why oh WHY can't i make saner picks?  god, today i was ecstatic and despairing by turns. i guess it's okay though. my timing is just silly. and i'm tired. *hitshead hitshead hitshead*

heheh.

i am a fucking basket case, thought i'd tell you ( Read more... )