The Rapture Tribune
March the Whateverth, Nineteen-Something | still only 99¢!
Beloved Figurehead Goes Down In Flames
By Stanley Poole
Atlas and Fontaine were killed today in a battle that will leave its scars on Rapture for years to come.
Many lives have been claimed in the great Anon-Rper Battle of 19??. But no loss was more tragic than that
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Comments 69
ME AND SOFIA ARE GETTIN' MARRIED!
... No but really, they're gonna come back. I just know these things.
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You poor man Congratulations!
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...
/closes it again
Yanno what, you two are made for each other. /cheerful smile!
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...T~T
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Do not be such sissy, Jack. You already killed them both once.
On the bright side, you can now finally spend some educational time with me.
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Don't cry, boyo.
[/ ...CRAIS]
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It's okay. People keep saying they're going to come back.
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Bawoo woo Aooo? *points at the anons* Bawoo?
...*scratches his helmet quizzically*
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Delta? *o*
I mean uh, buddy! When'd you get back? *o*
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*points at the nearest vita-chamber, then shakes his head and rumbles*
Bawoo, woo. Bawoo.
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Whoa. That, uh... that musta been rough.
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What the bleedin' hell is this tripe? Jaysus, ye write this shite, molly? Were ye even THERE? Ye completely missed the feckin' point. Not fit for bog roll an' it's certainly not fit for me beloved Atlas...
Oh... Oh Lord in Heaven...
Me Atlas.
/choked sob
/bites newspaper
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