The Rapture Tribune
March the Whateverth, Nineteen-Something | still only 99¢!
Beloved Figurehead Goes Down In Flames
By Stanley Poole
Atlas and Fontaine were killed today in a battle that will leave its scars on Rapture for years to come.
Many lives have been claimed in the great Anon-Rper Battle of 19??. But no loss was more tragic than that
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ME AND SOFIA ARE GETTIN' MARRIED!
... No but really, they're gonna come back. I just know these things.
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You poor man Congratulations!
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/closes it again
Yanno what, you two are made for each other. /cheerful smile!
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But really, Fontaine will be back for sure.
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DID YOU PLAY WITH COLLEAGUE STEINMAN AGAIN?
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[covers face in both hands]
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Dumbo! Where have you been?
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[resolutely keeps hands over face, cringing]
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[kicks him and leaves]
You owe me, Hund.
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I do. I owe ya. And, uh, the incognito thing is indefinite...
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You of all people should know which rumors are true and which are not.
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It must be hard for you, seeing me married and with child and married so soon, but there is no need for jealousy; I may no longer be able to hide under your bed, behind your wardrobe or in your fridge in a couple of months, but I will always, always make time for you.
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