The Light At the End of the Never Ending Tunnel
The Light at the end of the Never Ending Tunnel 9/?
Author: catherineackles
Characters: Jared/Jensen, Jack, Chris
Rating / Warning: NC-17 (contains child abuse)
Disclaimer: As you all know Jared, Jensen, Chris and Jensens family are real persons, who I have used in my fictional story. No harm intended.
Summary: Jared's parents died in a car accident when he was 8 and was forced to live with his abusive uncle. When he is 16 they move to a new town and everything changes when he meets a guy named Jensen.
Words (this chapter): 7500 words
Note: Because Im such and ass and havn't posted in foreveeerrr, here is a really long chapter for you all.
Chapters 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8
Chapter 9
Comments = Motivation . . . aka, GIMME SOME LOVE
Jensen's Mother is standing on the front porch waiting for Chris to fetch Jensen and his new friend who she is desperate to meet. Donna is a very understanding mother. She trusts her son and knows she can always count on him to make to make the right decisions. Therefore when Jensen asked her about this new boy staying with them, of course she was a little wary at first as she had never even met nor heard of him. But when Jensen insisted that he knew what he was doing and that this boy was in desperate need of a home then there was no way she could refuse.
Donna doesn't know anything about the situation Jared is in except for that he has been living with his Uncle and some stuff has come up therefore leaving him unable to stay with him. She also doesn't know the events that happened earlier in the evening with Jack. All she knows is that she was asked to pick both Jensen and there new house guest up from Chris. Therefore she is in no way prepared for the sight that is about to greet her.
Donna sees the two boys walking down the hallway, Jared trailing not far behind Jensen. Her loving motherly smile immediately turns into a concerned frown as she catches sight of her son. She gasps and covers her mouth not knowing what to say as she stairs at his bruised left cheek and Jaw and notices how he tries to hide a wince of pain with every step he takes.
"Oh God sweetie, what on earth happened to you ?"
Not able to meet his mothers eyes Jensen reply’s quietly "Could we, uhh maybe talk about this a little later mah, we are really tired and just wanna go home and get some rest."
Staring at Jensen's wounded form she looks at him incredulously and says strongly "I can tell when your hurt Jensen and in absolutely no way am I letting you go home until your checked over by a doctor. You don’t have to tell me or the doc what’s going on at he moment but I just want to make sure your ok."
Not able to meet his mothers eyes Jensen keeps them trained on the floor and nods in defeat knowing that when it concerns his health and well bean his mother doesn't take any chances.
A short but uncomfortable silence envelopes them both until Donna gets her whits together as she says clasping her hands together eagerly "Well then, don’t you think its about time I meet this young boy you told me about ?"
Snapping out of his momentarily blank state Jensen remembers Jared standing shyly behind him out of sight. Taking a deep breath Jensen steps aside placing a reassuring hand on Jared's shoulder as he states confidently "Mah, this is my ummm friend Jared, Jared this is my Mum."
Donna gasps out of shock for the second time that night as she stairs at the wounded boy standing before her. Just like Jensen she can also for some reason sense when someone is in need of help. Therefore as she looks past the bruises plastering his face and into Jared's deep soulful eyes she can tell that there is more to this story then meets the eye.
Jared cant help but feel out of place as he stands there, as if though her eyes are burning holes right through him. He's not sure what to do, knowing that she is probably staring at him regretting ever agreeing to let such a filthy piece of trash into her home, knowing that he will only be a nuisance.
This is why he is caught of guard as she moves further into the house, not taking her eyes off of him as she stands directly in front of him placing her hand comfortingly on his shoulder as she says softly "Its very nice to meet you Jared. I’m happy to have you staying with us. I want you to know that you don’t have to feel uncomfortable around me or the rest of the family, we are not judgemental people. Now I know you don’t know me well enough yet, but I hope that you will soon be able to trust me enough to tell me what happened."
Jared's throat suddenly feels bone dry as he swallows deeply trying to take in what was just said. Also trying to understand the meaning of that last statement.
Feeling a little nauseous Jared asks nervously "W - what do you mean Mrs Ackles ?"
Bringing her hand up to tenderly touch his bruised and battered face she says calmly "I mean I hope you are one day able to tell me why he did this to you and hopefully trust me enough to let me help."
Jared jumps back quickly, staring at her with wide eyes which fail to hide the fear and confusion shining deep within them. Looking sideways he sees Jensen standing there looking at his mother, brows knit together tightly, also looking slightly confused. Turning back to Donna he takes a deep breath and asks quietly "How do you k-kno . . . '
Cutting Jared off Donna says kindly "It doesn't matter how I know sweetie, I can just tell I guess. All that matters right now is that I get you two boys straight to a doctor so we can get home and into bed. It looks like its been a long day, you could both use some rest."
Smiling a little at Donnas words Jared turns towards Jensen who is smiling back kindly and nods in agreement.
Just as there making there way towards the car Jared calls "Uhh, Mrs Ackles ?"
Turning towards Jared she answers "Call me Donna, but uhh yes Jared?"
Smiling shyly Jared corrects "Uhh Donna, I just wanted to umm say uhh Thanks, for you know. What you said back there."
Looking at him kindly she says "Any time Jared. Any time."
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As Donna, Jensen and Jared walked into the room in which they were directed towards they were greeted by a Middle aged and kind looking Woman
"Hello Mrs Ackles I’m Doctor Chalita, all three of you may take a seat"
"Thankyou Doctor" Donna replied politely as all three of them did as they were told.
As Jared watched the doctor wash her hands and put on another pair of gloves he began to feel nauseous as his fear slowly began to grow. He cant remember the last time he has seen a doctor. His Uncle forbid it saying that "all they want is your money, and besides your healthy enough as it is, you don’t need doctors to tell you that." Jared knew it was only an excuse, the real reason Jack avoided Jared seeing a doctor is because he knew they would see the abuse, the years of pain he has had to endure under his Uncles care. This is the reason why he is afraid right now, he knows they are going to ask questions, knows there going to judge and scrutinise every scar left over from his torture.
As Doctor Chalita quickly jots something down on a piece of paper he finally decides that he has just got to brave it out, he cant keep running from his fears forever, its about time he faces up to lifes challenges even if there is a risk involved.
Walking up to where Jared and Jensen are sitting Doctor Chalita looks them both up and down and says in a concerned tone "Well then, looky at what we have here. What on earth have you two boys been up to ?"
Neither of them answer as they both look down trying to avoid the inevitable question. Shaking her head Donna says "Don’t worry, they wont tell me either. Although would you still be able to look both of them over, as you can see they both seem to be in pretty bad shape."
"Of course I can, this is a public hospital and as long as I understand the basics of what happened the rest is the patients business. And by the looks of it I’m guessing these two boys were bashed so that’s all I need to know. So how about I get started ?"
Nodding in relief Donna smiles and says "Ok, that’s good to know. So which one of you boys wants to go first ?"
Jensen could tell Jared was nervous, he's guessing he doesn't visit the doctors all that often. So turning towards him he says "Do you want me to go first Jay ?"
"Yeah if you umm wouldn't mind Jen then that would be good."
Once the boys had made the decision Doctor Chalita escorted Jared and Donna out to the waiting room.
Nodding towards the high bed against the wall she says "Please take a seat and remove any clothing in the proximity of your injuries ?"
Nodding in answer Jensen carefully removes his top trying not to wince at the excruciating as he lifted his arms.
Tusking at the dark blue and purple fresh bruises she moves up to him and places her hands on his abdomen carefully nudging certain spots while asking what hurts most.
After carefully examining Jensen and treating several cuts and wounds, both Jensen and Doctor Chalita walk out into the waiting room. Making there way towards Jared and Donna the doctor says "Okay, well I have finished examining Jensen, I'll fully inform you of his condition once I have finished with Jared, I shouldn't be to long." Motioning for Jared to follow her Doctor Chalita heads back towards her doctors office.
As Jensen watches he door close behind Jared he cant help but feel helpless. He could tell Jared was hesitant to walk in there and knows he must be pretty terrified. He just wishes there was something he could do to make the fear go away. He's happy Jared agreed to actually be seen by a Doctor, he was expecting him to refuse the help and say that he's fine like he had every other time Jensen has made an attempt to offer further assistance. So when he agreed without any disagreements he was quiet surprised although relieved that he seem to be making some progress.
Donna turns in her seat and looks directly at Jensen. She feels helpless and just wants to know what the hell has happened to her baby boy. Thinking its about time she is informed of the incident Donna asks "Jensen, you know I trust you, but this is driving me insane. I’m your Mother and deserve to know what’s going on."
Jensen's snapped out of his thoughts at his Mothers question. He knows what she said is true, she has every right to want to know what’s going on. But he promised Jared that no matter what he wont tell anyone anything. He feels torn between the respect for his mother, and the trust of his friend and possibly even potential boyfriend.
Although knowing he has no other choice Jensen settles on saying to his mother "I know your worried mah, but what’s going on doesn't really have anything to do with me, it has to do with Jared. None of what's happened is even partially his fault, so please don’t go thinking he's a bad influence mah. He really is a sweet boy, one of the sweetest I've ever met".
"Well then if Jared is in trouble don’t you think we should be doing something about it? I know something’s going on. I know he's a sweet boy, but when I met him I could just tell something terrible has happened to him which has made an important part of him well . . . die. Keeping his secret isn't really helping him baby, I know you think your protecting him but he needs proper help sweetie, I’m worried about him and I know you are to."
Trying to take in his mothers wise words in all at once Jensen turns towards her and says desperately "Just give me two weeks Mamma, please I’m begging you. I know what your saying and I get it. But he wont be able to be helped unless he wants it. J-just 2 weeks mah, and I promise if I cant get him to do what he needs to under his own will then yeah, I'll let you intervene. But I only just got him to finally trust me, a-and I really like him mah. He's a really good person . . . he's just a lil lost."
Taking in a deep breath Donna rubs at her tired eyes. Taking her sons hand into hers she looks him in the eyes and says carefully. "Fine then, Two weeks. If you can get him to do this on his own in two weeks then I'll let it go. But I’m warning you, if he doesn't get any help in time then I’m afraid I’m going to have to take matters into my own hands, I cant let that poor boy suffer any longer."
Smiling in relief Jensen squeezes his mothers hand back. Just as he's about to thank her they both turn quickly as Jared walks out of the doctors office.
He takes a seat next to Jensen and says "Ummm the doctor said you can go talk to her now Donna."
Smiling at Jared she says "Thanks sweetie, you two boys wait here I'll be right back ok ?"
When both boys nod she makes her way into the doctors office and takes a seat in front of the large desk. After acknowledging Doctor Chalita she says "Soo, how are Jared and Jensen doctor ?"
Smiling politely she says "Don’t you worry Donna. Both boys are going to be just fine. They each received some severe injuries but nothing that cant be healed with time."
Breathing a sigh of relief Donna asks "So what are the serious injuries I should know about?"
"Well Jensen has received some tissue trauma to his lower abdomen. Its extremely bruised and quiet tender so I have wrapped his stomach and the dressing must be changed daily. Besides that he should be fine, I treated some small cuts and there’s some minor swelling in the face although that should go down in a day or two".
Donna smiled gratefully at her and then remembered Jared "Uhhh Doctor, how is Jared doing ?"
Pausing briefly Doctor Chalita glanced down at her desk before meeting Donnas gaze head on "Well that’s what I desperately wanted to discuss with you."
Hearing the seriousness in her voice Donna replied quickly "Oh God, what’s wrong with him ? Is he going to be ok ?"
Quickly interrupting her before she could break out into a panic Doctor Chalita says calmly "No, don’t worry. Jared hasn't sustained any serious injuries. Basically the same as Jensen's, he has allot of cuts and bruises. Although that’s not what I’m worried about."
"Well then what is it ?" Donna asked desperately.
"Its the injuries he has previously sustained. You see all of Jensen's injuries were fresh and I didn't find and evidence of earlier damage, although even though Jared also had some fresh bruising most of it looked as though it was in different stages of healing. So in other words this seems to have happened on many separate occasions. If I didn't know any better I would say is been abused, I've seen many cases just like Jared's. Would you happen to know anything about this Mrs Ackles ?"
Trying to take in all the information Donna looks up shocked and says "Uhhh, no. I have only just met the boy, he is a friend of my sons. Jensen just asked me if Jared could move in with us. I accepted of course because I could tell there was more to this story then Jensen was telling. I was obviously right. What should I do Doctor ?"
"Sadly I have no jurisdiction as to how you decide to handle this. I’m guessing the abuse came from home thus the reason for him moving in with your family. I advise you to make sure you keep a close eye on him. Since he is now living with you the abuse will most likely stop as long as he stays away from the place it originated. . . Even though I have no official say, I think you should report this. Jared's injuries may not be extremely severe but the person who inflicted them went to allot of trouble to make sure Jared could feel them. The person who did this to him deserves to receive his rightful punishment. Although the decision to report this isn't up to me, so I just hope you make the right decision."
Lowering her gaze Donna nodded slowly trying to take in all the new information. She knew something was wrong with Jared but she never thought it was this serious. She desperately wants to report it straight away but wants to respect her sons decision to help Jared accept it enough himself so he can do it on his own. She's not sure if she can handle all this right now, the responsibly of having to choose. She's going to have to think about this allot more until she can come to a final decision. She doesn't want to make a mistake by choosing the wrong path of action.
Remembering she's still in the doctors office Donna looks back up and asks "If that’s all I'd like to take the boys home now if its ok
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Jared sits on his new bed in the guest room. God, Jensen wasn't kidding when he said his parents were loaded he thinks to him self as he continues to look at the beautiful furnishings in the spacious room. When he was there earlier in the day he was to distracted to take in how big and beautiful this place is. He's not use to staying in such a nice room and even more luxurious house. Ever since his Uncle all he has had is cramped, filthy, roach infested houses. Usually if he happened to be at a place like this he'd be feeling uncomfortable and out of place. Although for some reason even though Jensen's house is so luxurious it still has a homey and comfortable feel about it.
While he's contemplating all of this he hears a nock and familiar voice on the other side of the door "You dressed ?"
"Yup."
Jensen closes the door behind him and walks to sit next to Jared "My pyjamas fit alright ?"
"Yeah they do surprisingly."
Jensen grins "Yeah well your lucky my grandma just happened to buy me pyjamas two sizes to big for me for mah birthday."
"Yeah I guess I am" Jared says grinning along with him.
"Well anyways I came in just to let you know that my Mums gonna take us shopping tomorrow for some clothing for you since all you have is what you wore today."
Jared scratches the back of his neck nervously and looks down feeling a little ashamed "She umm, doesn't have to you know, I guess I could just sneak into my house when Jacks at work."
"Look at me Jay" Jensen states firmly.
When Jared's confused eyes meet his he says "I told you my parents are pretty rich, so don’t worry about the money ok ? You don’t have to feel ashamed to ask any of us for anything. Plus there is no way I’m letting you take the risk of going any where NEAR Jack OR that house ever again and one more thing . . . . that place isn't "Your house" anymore. Cause where you are right now. THIS is your house, so don’t forget it ok ?"
Nodding silently Jared lays his head on Jensen shoulder feeling the days events beginning to catch up with him.
Slipping his arm around Jared's waist Jensen places a kiss to his forehead and says "Well we better be going to bed. My Mum already called the school to let them know we wont be coming in for the next two days."
"Uhhh, why did she do that ?" asks Jared confused.
Rubbing his thumb in a soothing circular motion on Jared's stomach Jensen replies "Well she just figured we could do with a bit of a break. Plus she wants to give you time to get settled in and meet the rest of the family. She figures that your staying here might be kinda permanent by the looks of things. I really hope it is just to let you know Jay."
Feeling tears threatening to fall Jared blinks rapidly and sniffs "God, you and your Mum are amazing."
"Nope, we can just tell when a guys in need of a desperate helping hand."
"Yeah . . . I guess so" whispers Jared quietly.
Notting that Jared looks as though he's about to fall asleep he nudges him and says "Come on Jay, you better get in to bed."
Yawning loudly Jared laughs "I guess, that'd be a good idea."
Jared crawls up to the top of the bed burying him self under the warm cosy covers smiling as Jensen comes to kneel by the side of the bed.
Brushing his fingers through Jared's hair Jensen licks his lips before leaning down kissing him softly.
Jared feels the kiss right down to his bones. The soft slip slide of tongues moving together slowly. He gasps as the kiss deepens becoming more intense and cant help the moan that goes through him as Jensen nips greedily at his lips.
Jensen quickly stop the kiss before it gets any more intense not wanting to pressure Jared into anything more because of what he has gone through.
Jared's breathing heavily trying to get his breath back as he asks the question that’s been bothering him all night "Soo umm, I wont get angry or anything if you say no. But Jen, I need to know whether or not what’s going on between us actually means something to you. I’m really confused at the moment and I just cant do this unless it means something."
Leaning back down he places a gentle kiss to his lips "It means EVERYthing Jay, I would never just use you ok ? You mean so much to me, and I really want to be able to show that to you."
Jared smiles slightly but Jensen can tell that’s not the only thing bothering him. "So is there anything else Jay ?"
"Uhhh, yeah one more thing . . . . . If we do you know go out. I just ummm, well . . . could we go slow ? Its just that I’m really not ready for anything more, and I really like you. So I don’t want to ruin anything."
Kissing him lightly on the forehead Jensen reply’s "Anything you want Jay. We go at your pace, alright ? If you want to go slow than we'll go as slow as you want. I just want to be there for you and make you happy."
Yawning tiredly Jared says "Thanks Jen."
Taking in Jared's sleepy state he places one last chaste kiss to his lips and says "Well I better let you sleep. My rooms just next door if you need me."
Eyes beginning to close shut Jared reply’s sleepily "Thanks Jen, for everything. Nightie night."
"Yeah, night Jay. Sweet dreams."
With that said Jensen switches of the light and exits the room hoping that everything works out for the best.
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Jared wakes with a start. Breathing heavily and sweating with images of his Uncle still flashing through his head like a horror movie on repeat. He looks around the room in panic wondering where he is until everything finally clicks.
The previous images of his Uncle slowly begin to fade away as they are replaced with Jensen's loving smile, soft lips, dreamy eyes and comforting words.
Jared cant seem to wrap his head around the fact that this is actually happening. He has always dreamt that one day he'd be able to wake up and not have to worry about what awaits him when he steps foot out of his bedroom door. Although he thought it would always remain just that, a distant dream.
He's startled out of his thoughts by a soft nock on the door as Donnas calming voice drifts through "You awake yet sweetie, can I come in ?"
Turning towards the bedside clock he realises its a little later then he thought.
"Uhh yeah, of course you can."
Donna walks into the room still in her night gown and sits at the bottom of his bed "I just came in to let you know breakfast is ready downstairs. Jensen's already up, he checked on you earlier but said he didn't want to wake you."
Smiling at her kind consideration and also the thought of an actual breakfast awaiting him Jared replies "Thankyou Donna, I’m absolutely starving. I'll just get up and be right down."
Standing back up to leave Donna looks down at him kindly "That’s fine Jared, just come down when your ready, and I hope you got a good sleep since were going to be busy today."
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Jensen, Mackenzie and Jensen's Dad Alan are all sitting at the breakfast table eating when Jared enters. Jensen had just finished talking to his Sister about Jared moving in since his Mother had only filled in his Dad so far. He made sure to remind her to be nice to him as he's had some stuff going on and warned her to not get a shock when she sees him since he's a little bruised up.
Pulling out the stool next to him Jensen motions for Jared to take a seat.
"Morning Jay, how you feeling ?" asks Jensen as he passes Jared his plate of Choc Chip pancakes.
Smiling thankfully at Jensen he answers "Ummm, pretty good actually. I haven’t slept in such a comfy bed in ages."
Jared glances at the girl sitting next to Jensen who seems to be staring intently at him then back to Jensen hoping he sees the question in his eyes.
Jensen mentally wacks him self as he realises he forgot to introduce everyone else "Oh gee, sorry Jay. This lil midget ogling you is my little Sister Mackenzie. She's 9 years old and wont bite as long as you don’t touch her Barbie dolls."
Crossing her arms stubbornly Mackenzie glares at Jensen "That’s not true !" she whines turning towards Jared "Don’t listen to him Jared, he's just a big meanie."
Jared laughs along with Jensen and replies "Don’t worry, I'll get him back for you."
Grinning cheekily at Jensen she gloats "Seeeeeeee, at least he's nice to me, and if he's lucky maybe I'll even let him play with my favourite brats doll."
Leaning towards Jared Jensen whispers in his ear "That means she's got a crush on you."
Whispering back to Jensen Jared replies "Well it looks like you might have to win my affection Jen, your little sister seems like a fighter, its gonna be a close fight."
As both boys continue to chuckle at there own Joke Alan interrupts "So are you going make me sit here Jensen or actually introduce me to your new friend ?"
Smiling apologetically at his father Jensen says "Jared this is my Dad but you can call him Alan and Dad this is my friend Jared."
Alan leans over the table and shakes his hand "Its nice to meet you Jared. Were happy to have you staying with us. Its been a bit quiet around here ever since Jensen's brother Jeff left for college, so the more the merrier."
"Thank you sir, you have no idea how thankful I am to all of you for letting me stay here, it really does means allot and I promise not to be to much of a hassle."
Donna walks in just as he says this so she walks up next to him and says kindly "Ohh don’t be silly Jared, its absolutely no hassle to have you staying here, now you all better stop chatting and finish of your pancakes cause I want to get going to the shops pretty soon, and you two have to get to school and work" she says pointing towards Mackenzie and Alan.
Picking there knifes and forks back up they all groan in unison as they begin to dig into their breakfasts.
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Later that day Jared and Jensen are sitting in a secluded corner of the quiet cafe they found in the shopping centre while Donna buys the groceries.
Taking a sip of his coffee Jared looks downwards at all the bags surrounding there table "So are you sure I really needed this many clothes Jen? I mean, come on Dude, this must have cost a fortune."
Shrugging his shoulders innocently Jensen replies "Well its not my fault you looked unbearably sexy in absolutely everything you tried on. I mean it'd be wrong of me if I didn't buy you all of that stuff. Plus Jay, how many times have I gotta tell you to stop worrying about the money ? It was my Mum who gave us the credit card and told us to go nuts in the first place, so stop stressing for me ok Jay ?"
Staring down sadly into his coffee mug Jared says quietly "Yeah, uhh I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be a pain."
Noticing the depressing tone in Jared's voice Jensen reaches across the small round table and grabs a hold of Jared's hands, holding them tightly as he brushes his thumb across his palm soothingly, trying to convey his feelings through his actions. Not taking his eyes off Jared's sorrowful ones Jensen asks "Hey, what’s the matter ? You know your not been a pain and you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. So what’s with the sad face Jay ?"
Letting the soothing motion of Jensen's thumb relax him Jared confesses "Its just that I’m not use to well, 'this'. I’m not use to your type of expensive lifestyle, and I’m definitely not use to having people actually care about me. Its not that I don’t like it, cause I do, I’m so grateful. It's just a bit over whelming at first I guess, and I’m scared that if I get to use to all of this then one day it will all just get taken away from me. As if I'll be scooped back up into my old life without warning."
Looking up Jared meets Jensen's deep and caring gaze and continues "I’m just not sure I could handle going back to what I use to have knowing what I’m missing out on. Knowing that it is actually possible for me to be happy. Knowing that there are people out there who want me for me, and not just a - as something for then t-to . . . " Jared cuts himself off, not able to finish off that sentence, knowing that saying it out loud in front of Jensen means he will know for sure what happened with him and his Uncle.
Jensen had been thinking over yesterdays events in his mind all night long. He barely got any sleep because the image of Jared on his knees kept flashing before his eyes. He doesn't know whether or not his Uncle has done something like that to him before. He doesn't even think he wants to know, but there’s one thing he's certain of, and that's that he needs to know.
So without putting much thought into it Jensen takes advantage of Jared's pause "Jared, I have to ask you something. I know you don’t want to tell me but its something I need to know."
Now paying full attention Jared asks, fearing the answer "So w -what do you wanna ask me ?"
Not breaking their gaze Jensen replies in full seriousness "I need you to tell me exactly what your Uncle has done to you. I know your scared, but you don’t have to be. I just wanna help Jay."
Quickly pulling his hands free from Jensen's Jared replies nervously "I-I already told you that Jen. H-he hit me, and beat me up a bit. That’s all. So just leave it alone alright ?"
"Well if that’s true, then can you tell me what he was doing to you when I barged in there yesterday ?"
Feeling his breathing coming quicker Jared knows he's on the brink of a panic attack. Oh God he saw, he saw , he saw , he saw is the only thought racing through his mind as spits out way to quickly "It was NOTHING. Alright ? Why cant you just leave it alone Jen. I’m fine now ok ?"
Jensen throws his hands up in disbelief and says incredulously "No your not fine Jared ! Your no where even close. I know what I saw when I walked in there, and all I want you to do is answer yes or no to this question. . . . Has your Uncle ever made you do something to him like that before ? H-has he ever . . ." Jensen pauses and takes a deep and desperately needed breath then continues with "Has you Uncle ever raped you ?"
Feeling tears begin to fall Jared sniffs and looks down as he begins to shake not yet sure why Jensen needs to know, not yet sure he's ready to tell him "I - I don’t get what good me t - telling you this is going to d . . ."
Jensen interrupts quietly "Please just answer the question Jay, that’s all I’m asking."
Not able to meet Jensen's eyes Jared keeps them trained on his nerve shaking hands as he answers full of fear and shame "Yes."
Not knowing what to do Jensen sits there in shock staring at Jared's wide eyes, trying to understand what has just been said. He knows he knew the answer to that question the whole time but actually hearing it and realising its real is just unbearable.
Feeling as though he's going to be sick Jensen says sadly "Oh God . . . Jay. Y-You should have told me, I cant believe you've had to go through all of that. FUCK If only I knew I would have grabbed Chris's gun and killed the bastard when I had the fucking chance. Shit, you cant just let him get away with this! He's gotta pay for what he's done to you . You have to tell someone Jay, I dunno, call t-the police or something."
Jared jumps out of his chair quickly and stands there staring at Jensen in anger with something close to disappointment shining in his eyes. Looking down at Jensen in sadness Jared chokes out "I knew it, I just knew it was to fucking good to be true. At least now I know I cant trust anybody no matter what. So thanks Jensen, thanks for showing me that I was right all along."
With that said Jared storms out of the cafe trying to hold back the tears as he hears Jensen calling after him. He races around the corner and collapses heavily against the wall finally letting his emotions flow free. Several shoppers walk past with their trolleys looking at him with questioning eyes. Although he doesn't take any notice of them, because all he's paying attention to is Jensen's voice repeating the same words in his head on repeat "The police, the police the police."
He doesn't want to report what’s happened to him because he knows if he does then it will go to court, and if it goes to court he will have to admit it happened, therefore letting everyone know what type of a person he is, letting them know he's just a piece of filthy trash.
As he sits there against the wall contemplating all of this he doesn't notice Jensen walk up to him which is why he jumps as Jensen slides down the wall next to him.
"Please just leave me alone Jen, I - I cant deal with any of this right now." says Jared desperately.
Placing his hand comfortingly on Jared's shoulder Jensen says "Well that’s just to bad, cause I said I’m here to stay and I mean it."
"But you promised you wouldn't tell anyone Jen. Why did you mention the police when you promised me ?"
Realisation finally hits as Jensen says "God Jay, is that what this is about ?"
Jared nods slightly with his eyes still down cast.
"Jay you know I'd never call the police on you right ?"
Feeling a little stupid for his out burst Jared replies "But you said that thing back there and I just thou. . ."
Placing his arm around Jared Jensen pulls him into a tight embrace as he interrupts him with "Well you thought wrong Jay. I mean, yeah . . . of course I want you to report it, I want that bastard to get what he deserves. But I'd never report it for you without your permission. This is something YOU have to work out, not that I wont also be there for you. So yes, hopefully you will soon be able to report what happened to you, but we will work through everything at your pace ok ? We do everything when your ready."
Jared cant believe he was such an ass. Its just that he got so afraid when Jensen mentioned the police that he couldn't stop himself from loosing it a little. Slipping his arms around Jensen's waste Jared burries his face in between his shoulder and neck and says "I’m sorry Jen, Jesus I’m so sorry. I - I didn't mean to . . ."
Rubbing his hand comfortingly on Jared's back Jensen says soothingly "Shhh, shhhh calm down Jay. Its alright, I understand why you freaked out, you were scared and that’s fine. I’m not mad at you ok ?"
Lifting his face from Jensen's shoulder Jared meets Jensen loving gaze and says questioningly "Y - your not ?"
Smiling lightly Jensen cups Jared's face gently and says "No Jay, not at all." He lowers his head until there lips touch in a soft and tender kiss conveying everything Jensen's feeling, letting Jared know that he's here, and he's not leaving.
They are both to caught up in there own perfect little world to remember that there in a shopping centre. Jensen continues to kiss Jared deeply, revelling in the feel of Jared's soft lips against his until someone standing in front of them coughs for attention. Smiling into the kiss Jensen places one last peck to Jared's soft, kiss swollen lips as he turns to the person standing before them.
Both boys sit there wide eyed and shocked as they stair at Jensen's Mother looking down at them, arms crossed and one brow raised.
Not knowing how to react to this Jensen try’s to explain himself by stuttering out nervously "Uhh, mah. We were just umm. Well its really complicated, and well. Just please don’t, get . . . umm . . . " Jensen looks down feeling embarrassed and also scared shitless.
Donna just smiles and lets out a little laugh as she crouches down in front of Jensen and lift his face to meet hers "Jensen honey, I’m not mad ok ? I have known for a while now that you like boys."
Brows creased in confusion Jensen replies "B-but how did you umm . . . know ?"
Donna looks down and laughs a little "I’m your Mum Jensen, of course I knew, and besides that you didn't really make it difficult to figure out. I mean its kind of hard to miss the constant sideways glances at boys walking past, plus I have never seen you take a second look at girls and I know a boy like you wouldn't find it hard to get a girlfriend, so it was just kind of obvious."
Jensen keeps his head down not yet meeting his mothers eyes "So your ok with, ummm this ?" he says gesturing between him and Jared.
Donnas eyes soften at the fear she can hear in her sons voice realising how scared he actually is. "Gosh honey of course I’m ok with this", she looks over at Jared and smiles sweetly "Jared's one of the sweetest boys I have ever met, so if I were the one to choose who I wanted you to go out with I'd definitely pick him."
Jensen looks up at her and smiles gratefully just as Jared looks down and blushes deeply.
Noticing this Donna grins cheekily and adds "And don’t worry baby, your Father's fine with this to."
"WHAT, how the heck does Dad know ?" asks Jensen shocked out of his wits for definitely not the first time today.
Looking at Jensen incredulously she replies "Well its kind of hard not to when you both stair at each other like love sick puppies."
Both boys look down trying not to blush because they both know its true.
Hoisting her self back up Donna says "Well then I have got to get dinner started so I think its best if we head home. I'll go put the groceries in the car while you two boys talk, and before you even ask how I know its cause you both look like you have some things on your mind and I can tell cause I’m a mother."
When both boys nod she grabs hold of her trolley and heads off towards the exit as she calls back "TWO MINUITS BOYS."
Laughing at how perceptive his Mum is Jensen turns towards Jared and says "Soo, are you ok with my Mum and Dad knowing ?"
Jared breathes in deeply and replies "Well I wouldn't have chosen to tell them but I guess I don’t mind as long as they don’t."
Jensen lets out the breath he was holding in, relieved that his Mothers confrontation didn't freak Jared out. He understands that right now he must be having a hard time trying to trust people, so knowing that he doesn't feel frightened by his family is a huge relief.
Breaking the silence Jared looks over at Jensen nervously and asks "So was there anything you wanted to ask me before we left ?"
Snapping back to the present Jensen remembers what he wanted to say "Yeah, umm. Its about what you ummm, admitted to me in the cafe."
Turning away from Jensen he replies with a flat "Oh."
"Its just that, I know I could never imagine what you must have gone through, but well I just wanted to let you know that you can talk to me about it. I promise I wont freak out on you not matter what you have to say, especially about the umm . . . rape."
Jared feels his gut drop at that last word. He has always known that’s what his Uncle has been doing to him. But he's never admitted it to himself or said it out loud. Therefore hearing Jensen mutter those words just makes it all seem that much more real.
Jared doesn't reply to Jensen's statement. All he does is sag against Jensen's side and hold onto his arm tightly as he brushes his tears away on Jensen t-shirt before they could escape.
Jensen cant see Jared crying, but he can feel it, the dampness seeping into his shirt and the occasional tremble. Even though he doesn't reply Jensen knows Jared understands him and just hopes that he'll eventually open up towards him about everything that’s happened.
As they finally manage to get themselves together they make there way out towards Donna who is waiting in the car patiently. When they eventually arrive back at the house Jensen looks over at Jared and just smiles, smiles as though he's the only thing in this world that matters. From that point on Jared knows where his real home is.
TBC . . . .