( Read more... )

"For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss - a lengthy ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil."

--2010 Winner of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.

Jesus was cool, but his fan club sucks.

When you see this, post a poem in your journal

To a Mouse, on Turning Her Up in Her Nest, with the Plough
Robert Burns

Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim'rous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty
Wi bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an' chase thee,
Wi' murdering pattle.

I'm truly sorry man's dominion
Has broken Nature ( Read more... )

An older woman talking to her husband:  "No, you're not always wrong, but you're wrong this time."

Oh, squiggly line in my eye fluid,
I see you lurking there on the periphery of my vision.
But when I try to look at you, you scurry away.
Are you shy, squiggly line?
Why only when I ignore you, do you return to the center of my eye?
Oh, squiggly line, it’s alright, you are forgiven.

"For many, this charred portrait of Elizabeth II gives poignant new meaning to the phrase, 'Hey, check out that flaming queen.'"

"Daddy is going crazy, want to join him?"

From the Letters to the Editor in today's San Jose Mercury News:

"In order to stimulate the economy, President Bush wants to give individuals $600 at a total cost of $150 billion. Now, since the war in Iraq is costing us approximately $250 million a day, adding up to that $150 billion every six days, why not leave the Iraqis to solve their own ( Read more... )

I don't think I have anything to add about Mass Effect except that it's the only game I've played where you can have lesbian sex without meaning to.