Hiatus
July 19 - 31

My throat swells closed every time I try to think about the words I want to say in this entry. I don't know where to begin, how to say it, or even how all this started. All I know though, is that something very major is wrong with me, and whatever it is it's absolutely destroying my personal relationships. Every second of every ( Read more... )

Yesterday consisted of everything that is summer to me. John, Rachel, and I went out to the "beach" at Bear Creek. I had so much fun, I love swimming until I get to the point where I still feel floaty and off-balance when I'm out of the water. I love going hiking and playing with sticks and granddaddy long-legs. Sneaking the pipe like school kids ( Read more... )

Where's the telly?
Nobody can tell me
I don't speak a lick of that language and got a slippery memory
If I spelled it all out on my arm. Only if.
But I didn't, so I think, "Get a grip, kid. Deal with it"

Semi-Hiatus

I just need a couple of days to sort through all this mess before I talk about it. I've been running on auto-pilot for months now and It ( Read more... )

Today was such a miserable day.

The tears haven't stopped stinging my eyes and I feel like I'll be admitting defeat if I let them fall. Some things happened today that I'm not ready to talk about just yet.

If I don't seem like myself for the next few days I'm really sorry. I've just got a lot to think about right now.

Today has just been a shit day. I slept terribly, I've felt sickly, I had testing to do. I shouldn't still be at that school. I should have gotten my shit together graduated in May, I feel like such a failure. Things that have been on my mind for a while are starting to catch up with me and I'm just feeling really alone. I'm starting to feel like I ( Read more... )

Things seem to be falling into place and I'm actually excited about life.

I learned something very important last night.

Recovery? yeah...it doesn't exist. Now, I don't mean that a person will never get better, thats not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that as long as you focus exclusively on "the thing" thats keeping you crippled it will never ( Read more... )

On the bright side

since this whole shitstorm started I've lost sixteen pounds. That is sixteen pounds in roughly two weeks. So in conclusion, the ultimate dieting secret ladies? lose your fucking mind. =D

What does one do when they are so totally and completely (dare I fucking say it?) in love? with another that they would do anything to see the other person happy, even if it means losing every shred of hope and sanity they ever had to begin with? I find myself in dangerous limbo with wanting so badly for him to be happy that I would do anything ( Read more... )

I just woke up about 40 minutes ago, I hate this feeling, I hate knowing I have slept the sunshine away. I want my "normal" sleep schedule back, and I want sleep to come to come easy for me once again. Is seems that here lately that the only way I can get to sleep is if I just pass out from being awake for so long, I then end up sleeping through ( Read more... )

I was given a prescription for 300mg of Wellbutrin XL. I went to bed early last night and forced myself to sleep so I could wake up at an ungodly hour (about five or six A.M.) to take my first pill. So far I've felt a bit jittery and paranoid I don't even know if thats possible this soon after taking it. I can't find anything on how fast the pill ( Read more... )