ITP: A Bad Idea

[bitchkitties]

[You may or may not know that Camp has a newspaper! If you don't read newspapers, you might have gotten an email! If you don't get email or read newspapers, check out the flyer that's been posted everywhere:]

WANTED: OBNOXIOUS PEOPLE
I am a single male who enjoys gardens and "magic carpet rides" looking for an irritating person to make my life

Comments

WANTED: SIDEKICK(S)

[mythbusting]

I am a teenage hero with a busy schedule of monster-fighting and homework in search of The Obligatory Smart One and The Obligatory Funny One to complete a trio of adventurers. Must be willing to work overtime during quests. Interested applicants should apply in person at the Mess Hall.

Re: WANTED: SIDEKICK(S)

[bitchkitties]

[I am neither extremely smart nor funny but I was on a quest once]

...[bow]

Re: WANTED: SIDEKICK(S)

[mythbusting]

Uh, you know, I'm not really looking for anyone to quest with.

Re: WANTED: SIDEKICK(S)

[bitchkitties]

No, but I am curious about your many quests, o able adventurer.

Wanted: A loving and kind princess who runs off into trouble and never listens

[evervigilante]

[I am a blunt bodyguard with a nasty sense of humour and a penchant for teasing. Waiting in the messhall for your arrival]

... Yeah, that sounds about right.

Re: Wanted: A loving and kind princess who runs off into trouble and never listens

[bitchkitties]

[Blink] You are in search of a princess as well?

[evervigilante]

Nooot exactly.

[bitchkitties]

[looks at you questioningly]

WANTED: FUN TIMES

[blowsurmind]

. . . yeah, I wanna have some fun.

[bettermounted]

And what exactly does the lady consider fun?

[blowsurmind]

Arcades! Malls! You name it!

[bettermounted]

Hm... I'm unfamiliar with these forms of fun. Would you mind telling me what they are?

[coulrofabulist]

WANTED: SEEING EYE DOG
SWM seeks seeing eye dog to help out around the house. Must be good with children.

Aaah, isn't that what Gilbert is for. . .?

[peacockeyes]

... Mr. Break?

[coulrofabulist]

Fonfon ♥ !

[peacockeyes]

[this is totally a sigh of relief]

Welcome back sir.

ISO: Adoring Groupies

[galacticfairy]

I am a beautiful, graceful, talented, inspirational, galaxy-renowned pop idol. You are interested in listening to every stunning note that drops from my lips, hand-tossing salads, and doing laundry twice a week. Ideal candidates will be good-looking and completely devoted. Meet your gorgeous employer-to-be in the hotel lobby. I'll be waiting, fufu~. ♥

[gunsmoking]

. . . Would I get paid?

[galacticfairy]

Probably.

[gunsmoking]

How much?