This is a real thing which is happening right now.
The final ballot for the 2012 Hugo Awards was announced yesterday. I'm on it. Between me-as-me, and me-as-Mira, I'm on it four times, which is actually a record for female authors (several men have managed it, including two people this year; no other woman has managed it, ever). And one of my nominations is for Wicked Girls. After thirty years of trying to get filk recognition at the Hugos, we did it. Because there is a single-artist filk album on the ballot.
I am having all the feelings right now. All the feelings. And yeah, a lot of them are close cousins to terror, which is why I spent most of the weekend either crying or asleep. But even more of them are close cousins to awe and amazement. I am on the ballot. I am on the ballot four times. This is like when I try to soothe myself by going "if you stopped selling books tomorrow, you'd still wind up with ____ many in print, which is better than some people get." Even if I never make the Hugo ballot again, I will still be the girl who got five nominations, four of them in a single year.
(This also means that if I don't win at least one category this year, I will be the girl who lost four times in a single night, and the girl who cries until she runs out of tears. I can be gracious and applaud for the winners, because that is what you do, and then I will go back to my hotel room and cry until there's no more crying in me.)
This is amazing. This is terrifying. This is a real thing which is happening right now.
Thank you. All of you. Thank you.
I am out of words.
I am having all the feelings right now. All the feelings. And yeah, a lot of them are close cousins to terror, which is why I spent most of the weekend either crying or asleep. But even more of them are close cousins to awe and amazement. I am on the ballot. I am on the ballot four times. This is like when I try to soothe myself by going "if you stopped selling books tomorrow, you'd still wind up with ____ many in print, which is better than some people get." Even if I never make the Hugo ballot again, I will still be the girl who got five nominations, four of them in a single year.
(This also means that if I don't win at least one category this year, I will be the girl who lost four times in a single night, and the girl who cries until she runs out of tears. I can be gracious and applaud for the winners, because that is what you do, and then I will go back to my hotel room and cry until there's no more crying in me.)
This is amazing. This is terrifying. This is a real thing which is happening right now.
Thank you. All of you. Thank you.
I am out of words.