In which Seanan finally talks about 'Slither'.
I am aware that a great many people have been waiting to hear my thoughts on Slither. Now, given that I've seen the movie eleven times at this point, can recite the great majority of the dialogue, wrote freakishly detailed fanfic about it, composed an open semi-love letter to its director, and broke my current 'no new T-shirts' rule to track down and obtain one of the promotional T-shirts they made for it, well, I think it's pretty safe to say that my thoughts are, by and large, positive ones. However, just to make it totally, undeniably clear, here you go:
I love this movie. I love it for its dialogue, its pacing, its concept, its execution, its use of prosthetic effects rather than the easier, more common CGI. I love it for its sincerity, its countless shout-outs to classic horror movies of the past, its humour, its earnestness, its humanity. I love it for the directing, which is smooth, well-conceived, and totally suited to the genre; I love it for the acting, which is high-quality and totally sincere (an attribute all too often absent in modern horror films). I love it for its gore, which is never used for stupid shock value, for its creepiness, and for having the guts to go as far as the story required.
Really, it's as if the people in charge of making movies sat down and said "Forget making money; Seanan's been a good and faithful audience, so let's make a movie just for her," and then they managed to sign all the contracts before they sobered up, so they were committed.
Getting the feeling that I love this movie? Because if so, you're feeling is pretty much spot-on.
Slither won my heart the moment it started, with the asteroid that carried the alien infection plummeting out of the sky towards the small, sleepy town of Wheelsy, South Carolina. (The fact that the state is never identified out loud -- real people don't go around saying 'gosh, it's great to live here in SOUTH CAROLINA where we have DEER SEASON every year' -- but is, instead, listed on the bottom of the survey map in the police station, where you need to pay attention to spot it? Totally delights me.) Any fan of classic horror knows that Bad Shit Falls From The Sky Looking Like An Asteroid, Yo -- I mean, witness everything from The Thing and The Blob to The Lonesome Death of Geordie Varrel. The Sky Is Bad. Science fiction teaches us to look to the sky with hope; horror teaches us to look to the sky with a shotgun. And thus is much of my psychology explained.
Right from the start, we have everything we need to know that this is going to be a rockin' horror party, if handled correctly. We have Something From Space. We have The Small Town. We have The Ineffective Police Force. Life is damn good for the horror fan, even before we meet the lovely Ms. Starla Grant (who could not be better cast; not even my darling Elisha would have carried this role so well) and her possessive older-man husband, and start getting one of the primary themes of the movie handed over to us -- survival of the fittest. That which is fit to live will live; that means 'fight back or you're toast'. A message I can totally get behind in a horror setting.
(It's also a very accurate message. No one who actually fires a gun at a bad guy in this movie dies. Seriously. All of the people who actively resist their fate, rather than either a) being taken by surprise, b) giving in willingly, or c) running in terror manage to survive. The fittest get out. Damaged, yes, but still walking.)
Characterization is often the first casualty of the horror movie -- you tend to go past archetypes and into stereotypes. Slither doesn't do that. Starla isn't just The Heartless Trophy Bride; she's a woman who married for money, but takes her duties seriously. Bill isn't just The Clueless Cop or Our Hero; he's a man who coasted through life, getting everything except the one thing he wanted most, and now has to grow up in a hurry. Even Kylie, who could have been the generic Telepathic Teen, shows spunk, wit, and a lot of versitility. Along with having the single best-placed 'motherfucker' in the movie.
Really, the heart and soul of this sort of horror movie comes from a combination of two things: dialogue and character. Because let's be serious, here; these things are silly. Virus from space wants to eat the whole world? Slugs in your brain? Acid-spitting zombies? Yeahsureokay. Silly silly silly. So how do you sell it?
First, you make us care about the characters and what happens to them. And then you make it patently clear that while we, as the audience, can see the silliness, they can't. Sure, they'll laugh about it later...if they survive. Right now, horrible things are happening around them, sometimes to them, and they don't have time to laugh about it. They have to handle things as if they were a matter of life and death, because hey, guess what? They totally are.
What do I love?
I love the Deer Cheer, and the look on Bill's face when he goes 'fuck it, dancing with Starla'. I love that people make jokes about Margaret's sexuality, but that it doesn't matter; she's still one of the team. I love Jack's fit over the Mr. Pibb -- he can't control anything else, so he's going to control this, goddammit. I love Brenda's cheese and crackers, and Starla's awkward semi-strip tease with the robe. I love the squid stickers on the map, and the 'No Profanity' sign in the police station. I love zombie Shelby, and the carefully labeled woodland critters littering the Grant home basement, and Kylie killing her worm with her enamel nails, and the dead-eyed shock of the survivors, and...and...and...
I love this movie. Everything about it. When the worst thing I can say is 'I have that octopus Beanie Baby and it doesn't actually squeak when you squeeze it', you win. You win totally, completely, and utterly. You win me, period.
Slither.
It just fucking rules.
I love this movie. I love it for its dialogue, its pacing, its concept, its execution, its use of prosthetic effects rather than the easier, more common CGI. I love it for its sincerity, its countless shout-outs to classic horror movies of the past, its humour, its earnestness, its humanity. I love it for the directing, which is smooth, well-conceived, and totally suited to the genre; I love it for the acting, which is high-quality and totally sincere (an attribute all too often absent in modern horror films). I love it for its gore, which is never used for stupid shock value, for its creepiness, and for having the guts to go as far as the story required.
Really, it's as if the people in charge of making movies sat down and said "Forget making money; Seanan's been a good and faithful audience, so let's make a movie just for her," and then they managed to sign all the contracts before they sobered up, so they were committed.
Getting the feeling that I love this movie? Because if so, you're feeling is pretty much spot-on.
Slither won my heart the moment it started, with the asteroid that carried the alien infection plummeting out of the sky towards the small, sleepy town of Wheelsy, South Carolina. (The fact that the state is never identified out loud -- real people don't go around saying 'gosh, it's great to live here in SOUTH CAROLINA where we have DEER SEASON every year' -- but is, instead, listed on the bottom of the survey map in the police station, where you need to pay attention to spot it? Totally delights me.) Any fan of classic horror knows that Bad Shit Falls From The Sky Looking Like An Asteroid, Yo -- I mean, witness everything from The Thing and The Blob to The Lonesome Death of Geordie Varrel. The Sky Is Bad. Science fiction teaches us to look to the sky with hope; horror teaches us to look to the sky with a shotgun. And thus is much of my psychology explained.
Right from the start, we have everything we need to know that this is going to be a rockin' horror party, if handled correctly. We have Something From Space. We have The Small Town. We have The Ineffective Police Force. Life is damn good for the horror fan, even before we meet the lovely Ms. Starla Grant (who could not be better cast; not even my darling Elisha would have carried this role so well) and her possessive older-man husband, and start getting one of the primary themes of the movie handed over to us -- survival of the fittest. That which is fit to live will live; that means 'fight back or you're toast'. A message I can totally get behind in a horror setting.
(It's also a very accurate message. No one who actually fires a gun at a bad guy in this movie dies. Seriously. All of the people who actively resist their fate, rather than either a) being taken by surprise, b) giving in willingly, or c) running in terror manage to survive. The fittest get out. Damaged, yes, but still walking.)
Characterization is often the first casualty of the horror movie -- you tend to go past archetypes and into stereotypes. Slither doesn't do that. Starla isn't just The Heartless Trophy Bride; she's a woman who married for money, but takes her duties seriously. Bill isn't just The Clueless Cop or Our Hero; he's a man who coasted through life, getting everything except the one thing he wanted most, and now has to grow up in a hurry. Even Kylie, who could have been the generic Telepathic Teen, shows spunk, wit, and a lot of versitility. Along with having the single best-placed 'motherfucker' in the movie.
Really, the heart and soul of this sort of horror movie comes from a combination of two things: dialogue and character. Because let's be serious, here; these things are silly. Virus from space wants to eat the whole world? Slugs in your brain? Acid-spitting zombies? Yeahsureokay. Silly silly silly. So how do you sell it?
First, you make us care about the characters and what happens to them. And then you make it patently clear that while we, as the audience, can see the silliness, they can't. Sure, they'll laugh about it later...if they survive. Right now, horrible things are happening around them, sometimes to them, and they don't have time to laugh about it. They have to handle things as if they were a matter of life and death, because hey, guess what? They totally are.
What do I love?
I love the Deer Cheer, and the look on Bill's face when he goes 'fuck it, dancing with Starla'. I love that people make jokes about Margaret's sexuality, but that it doesn't matter; she's still one of the team. I love Jack's fit over the Mr. Pibb -- he can't control anything else, so he's going to control this, goddammit. I love Brenda's cheese and crackers, and Starla's awkward semi-strip tease with the robe. I love the squid stickers on the map, and the 'No Profanity' sign in the police station. I love zombie Shelby, and the carefully labeled woodland critters littering the Grant home basement, and Kylie killing her worm with her enamel nails, and the dead-eyed shock of the survivors, and...and...and...
I love this movie. Everything about it. When the worst thing I can say is 'I have that octopus Beanie Baby and it doesn't actually squeak when you squeeze it', you win. You win totally, completely, and utterly. You win me, period.
Slither.
It just fucking rules.