I will keep the other party anonymous, to avoid potential slandering ( Read more... )

"Rocket, ye-eah, satellite of love!"=Def Leppard's shitty original chorus to "Rocket."

Here's my version

"Rocket. Yea-ah. Save the lives of the Jews."

And if you listen really hard, the chant you hear at the start of the song, which loops later on, is actually "And with the road that's scarred this mediocrity-ity-ity!"

In the St. Petersburg/Tampa area, you can live in a duplex condominium, next to others just like it, for a paltry cost. Your hang-out spots are Hooters and strip joints and clubs whose proprietors allow cocaine on the premises yet make men take their hats off ("How you gonna cruise the ladies with that hat on, son?") If you have to describe your ( Read more... )

On the subway yesterday (or maybe it was the other day--who the fuck cares?) a remarkable thing happened. Dozing next to me was a well-groomed Asian man of about 32, of average frame and stature, his body jutting out the way the bodies of sleeping people are prone to do, his head poked out just enough to lightly touch the intruding subway pole. In ( Read more... )

Got to Albuquerque 90 minutes late tonight; I'm here for a work-related conference. Went out to Burt's Tiki Lounge which I found through researching Albu night life but they did not have food so I went to a pizza joint. After eating I lost myself in the local arts mag, found out I missed Tilly and the Wall. The waitress said "Are you waiting on ( Read more... )

There it is. My prediction. Document this entry, mark my words, and if even an approximation of that speculation occurs, you owe me...somethin ( Read more... )

Whatever my boss' faults are, she has either fallen on the luck of ten leprechauns or become remarkably skilled at staffing. All of a sudden the goofballs have all left my company and along came all these wunderboys and girls (mostly girls), already outperforming me after only four or two or ONE month(s) on the job. I don't wish bad performance on ( Read more... )

A small spider as big-ass as a small spider can be capriciously crawled up my laptop monitor last night. I went "whoa" like a man on a horse that isn't quite falling but bucks like it might, and then, with one fey bap, obliterated the fucking thing, liquidized it and its many assets. Gragenta ooze spilled down my screen like a possessed trickle of ( Read more... )

I bought four tickets for Chris Rock's performance at MSG last night, priced at an embarrassingly high amount which I shall not disclose. Even though only two people were going with me, the guy selling them needed to get rid of all four of his, and I smugly thought that, if I sent an e-mail out to all 75 people in my Gmail contacts list, and all ( Read more... )

who escorted my friend and I from Mandalay Bay to our hotel Saturday night and whose craziness surpassed that of the Indian driver with whom, on the way to Newark years back, I had the following exchange: DRIVER: In India, I do everything bad. I do everything but rape girl, loot store, steal bike. ME: But you never killed anyone, did you? DRIVER: ( Read more... )