Gawd
Whatever my boss' faults are, she has either fallen on the luck of ten leprechauns or become remarkably skilled at staffing. All of a sudden the goofballs have all left my company and along came all these wunderboys and girls (mostly girls), already outperforming me after only four or two or ONE month(s) on the job. I don't wish bad performance on anyone; I just ask that people take at least, like, six months to do better than me. And I know my own anguish with this, my own tendency to turn my competitive drives inward, is to blame, as is my indifference to the job; i COULD do better, if I wanted to, and I know I'm doing just fine as is, so why care? Really the only thing that gets to me is a situation like the following: today, I vented to a co-worker who has been here all of a month about the fact that the assistants of the CEOs I call always direct me to PR reps, some of whom eventually connect me back to the CEO, but most of whom just give the same bullshit company protocol of "Mr. So and So would not care to speak about blah blah." Whenever maddening things like these happen, I assure myself that this happens to everyone. But today, when I vented that I have started to complete these assistants' sentences ("You're gonna have to speak with..." "PR? Yep, yep"), the girl I was venting to said "I find that I am usually connected right to the exec after some time. In fact, the last PR girl I spoke with bullied the exec into speaking with me."
I mean WHAT THE FUCK?! What am I doing so wrong, what kind of asshole do I sound like, to make these PR people treat me like shit while giving the golden treatment to a newbie? Is it just that girls' voices are sweeter (except the chain-smoking Long Island girls'?) Does my inner bitterness come through? Or what?
So this brings me to a citation from a Simpsons' episode, the one where Marge works at the power plant with Homer. On the first day, Homer gives Marge all this very bad advice, like "If you ever screw up, always blame the guy that doesn't speak any English. Ah, Tibor. How many times have you saved my ass?" Then, when Smithers is showing Marge her office, he goes "I'd give you the key but that idiot Tibor lost the extra one." And finally, later on, Homer is sulking because Marge has been promoted ahead of him. When Marge asks him what's wrong he says "Awww...I'm used to seeing people promoted ahead of me. Lenny. Carl. Tibor. But never my own wife."
Amen. Why does it have to be the new girl that I thought was so fun-loving and that would be my venting partner? Not that she's been exactly "promoted ahead," but she's so competitive and serious I think our days of work bonding are over.
I mean WHAT THE FUCK?! What am I doing so wrong, what kind of asshole do I sound like, to make these PR people treat me like shit while giving the golden treatment to a newbie? Is it just that girls' voices are sweeter (except the chain-smoking Long Island girls'?) Does my inner bitterness come through? Or what?
So this brings me to a citation from a Simpsons' episode, the one where Marge works at the power plant with Homer. On the first day, Homer gives Marge all this very bad advice, like "If you ever screw up, always blame the guy that doesn't speak any English. Ah, Tibor. How many times have you saved my ass?" Then, when Smithers is showing Marge her office, he goes "I'd give you the key but that idiot Tibor lost the extra one." And finally, later on, Homer is sulking because Marge has been promoted ahead of him. When Marge asks him what's wrong he says "Awww...I'm used to seeing people promoted ahead of me. Lenny. Carl. Tibor. But never my own wife."
Amen. Why does it have to be the new girl that I thought was so fun-loving and that would be my venting partner? Not that she's been exactly "promoted ahead," but she's so competitive and serious I think our days of work bonding are over.