Okay the holidays are almost over still a couple days left. Christmas rush was crazy and the customers have yet to learn not to shop at the last minute. They can be so rude sometimes, still don't understand it. Anyway. Work has been hard and things at home still are moving slow. I feel as if i'll never have my room. Lately things have been a bit ( Read more... )

so here I am at azul_bloom's where she is still sleeping and I'm wide awake. it has been a great deal of time since I last wrote anything. in this time of absence I have meet two of my tv idols from the tv series M*A*S*H. never really used my disneyland annual pass and its only got a couple days left on it. my car broke down on me costing around $ ( Read more... )

 Right now I have been trying my best to stay away from a horrible problem at home. My brother and his wife have been very difficult. I know that we all have our faults and no one is the victim. I really did think my keeping to myself would make things work but that doesn't seem to work at all. I haven't been sleeping at home for like the past week ( Read more... )

So yesterday was my brother's wedding and it was a really nice quaint ceremony. It did feel pretty warm to which I felt fearful to close my eyes while praying that I might faint. The reception was very nice looking. I wouldn't be able to estimate how much money went into the days events, but I really do hope that the newlyweds enjoyed themselves. ( Read more... )

Today is the big day, my brother is finally getting married after a very long engagement. Wow, I feel...tired. I expressed my feeling to azul_bloom in private, so that I would not put them out for anyone to hear. However, I must say that I still do feel as I have been feeling, so nothing has changed. I feel left out.

So this week I've spent a lot of time at azul_bloom's house. Mostly cooking and preparing meals, not just for ourselves, but for her family as well. Today was the second time I grill food outside on this tiny green grill. We spend some cash getting all that we need, and then some. But the truth of it all, I've really enjoyed this week cooking and ( Read more... )

Looking at my bank account statement really made me upset, sad, and overall feel completely broke. I can't keep living like this. I just can't!!! This isn't where I thought I would see myself right now. I can't afford anything. At least last week and this week I have more hours at work. That will really help me out. But I won't be getting paid ( Read more... )

Why is it I can't write anything worth while?

Knuckles busted wide
Bleeding out for justice
In this sorrow game
You did my wrong
Showed me for the fool
The fool I knew I was
A hard lesson learned
Far too late for sorry
And forced to move on
Without looking back
At our little misdeeds

Lean in close and
Take my breath away
Your lips turn to ash on my ( Read more... )

I couldn't sleep last night until I was forced to. I felt anxious while my mind was consumed with many different thoughts. The main thought was if I had made the right decision when it came to things between myself and someone very special.

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life and I have a track record of unsuccessful relationships...but was this ( Read more... )

I feel as if I'm falling on old habits again. Am I really getting where I want to go? Am I where I want to be? There's no doubt there is a change in the wind, but does it caress my cheek with good fortune or bring upon me ill fate? I feel challenged right now, not knowing what lies ahead. I must own up or fall victim yet again to my own compromises ( Read more... )