(no subject)
Looking at my bank account statement really made me upset, sad, and overall feel completely broke. I can't keep living like this. I just can't!!! This isn't where I thought I would see myself right now. I can't afford anything. At least last week and this week I have more hours at work. That will really help me out. But I won't be getting paid until next week.
Even working at Disney I couldn't keep my finances straight. But mostly because of the cost of gas. The things that really hit me hard have been gas, food, and holding my own end of things. I really can't believe I've blown through money like I have. There really is something terrible going on here. I know I sound kind of crazy, but damn it I can't stand this anymore!
Either I get more hours at work on a continuing basis, or I have to find another job. Somewhere that I can get a regular amount of hours on a consistent schedule. This whole thing of not knowing what I'll be working just isn't fair at all. As if it isn't bad enough that I bust my ass like I do and come in when someone calls out last minute. I have bills to pay and I'm living on my own. Working 9hrs a week isn't enough. I really do think they need to work harder on the scheduling process. We use to have our schedules up to 2 weeks in advance (at Disney), that was a great thing because I wouldn't be in the dark if I'm working the following sunday or not. Its rather unfair that they ask us to give them basically a months notice when we can't work on a particular day if they can't even keep up with the schedules. We get few hours, add not knowing when you'll work, being under-staffed, shift changes hrs before you come into work, and not being able to have anything done. Perhaps I really should consider where I stand.
I want to be more independent, but its hard to do that when you're in debt and still living at home. I'll admit that its my fault for blowing through my money. I need to learn to handle that better. I'm just scared and want something to work. I feel like I can't afford to breath.